You’ve finally met a guy who seems perfect, and everything is going smoothly until suddenly, he starts to pull away.
I’ve seen countless clients struggle with this perplexing situation, and even though it’s tough to go through, it can be completely normal. But here’s the secret: when he pulls away, do nothing.
I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it’s important. By doing nothing when he starts to withdraw, you’re actually communicating something incredibly powerful: respect for him, respect for yourself, and the presence of a secure attachment.
When you give him space to deal with whatever is causing him to pull away, you’re also showing him that you trust his ability to resolve his own issues and come back to you when the time is right.
Table of Contents
Key Takeaways
- Guys pull away for a range of reasons which are positive or negative. It helps to figure which one it is in your situation
- Doing nothing when a guy pulls away communicates respect for him and yourself
- Giving him space allows him to handle his issues and demonstrates trust in the relationship
- This counterintuitive approach can lead to a stronger, more secure connection as a result
- One other context in which doing nothing when he pulls away is particularly useful is when you’re dealing with a man who likes power in relationships (read more below)
By the way, there’s ONE specific emotional trigger in every masculine man that inspires him to emotionally commit – for life. Do you know what that emotional trigger is?
What Is The One Reason Men Pull Away?
When a man pulls away in a relationship, it might be due to various reasons, both positive and negative.
But if you want ONE specific reason, it’s because they feel the need to. That’s the simple answer.
Now:
Two of the most common reasons are their fear of emotional intimacy and a lack of desire to commit to the relationship. Understanding the reasons behind this behavior can help you effectively navigate through your relationship without feeling disheartened.
MORE: Why Do Men Run Away From Love? 11 Hidden Reasons.
Now let’s explore the 6 most important reasons why we advise you to when he pulls away, do nothing.
1: It Shows That You’re A High Value Woman
If you’re in a relationship with a man, chances are that at some point he’ll pull away, even just temporarily.
I find it helps to look at it like this:
When a man pulls away, doing nothing can be your most powerful tool.
Instead of chasing or trying to change his behavior, allowing space sends a clear message to him that you value yourself and your time.
Here are a few traits it communicates about you as a woman:
- Shows your confidence: By not reacting to his withdrawal, you demonstrate that you are secure in yourself and in the relationship. This confidence is attractive and shows that you’re a high-value woman.
- Independence: You show that you have your own life, interests, and friends. You’re not dependent on him for your happiness, which is a desirable quality in a partner.
- Respect for his autonomy: By not acting controlling or restricting his freedom, you convey your respect for his individuality and personal space. This is important in building trust and maintaining a healthy relationship.
- Emotional intelligence: It demonstrates that you can manage your emotions, like anxiety or fear, when he pulls away. This level of emotional intelligence is essential in maintaining harmony in a relationship.
- Patience: By withholding the urge to react or confront him immediately, you exhibit patience, allowing him to process whatever emotions he’s experiencing which is a vital quality in any long-term partnership.
- Strength: Your ability to stand strong even in the face of his withdrawal shows that you’re a resilient woman who can handle challenges in life and love. This is an attractive trait to men who value a strong partner.
- Flexibility: By giving him the space he needs, you showcase the flexibility and adaptability that are essential to maintain a healthy, evolving relationship.
- Non-reactivity: Your ability to remain calm and grounded in the face of his pulling away communicates to him that you can respond to difficult situations with grace, which is also a sign of high value.
Remember, doing nothing when a man pulls away is not weakness. It’s an assertion of your value, self-assurance, and understanding that you deserve a man who appreciates you for who you are.
Also, know that by exhibiting these high-value traits, you’re setting a strong foundation for a lasting and fulfilling connection.
Did you know: There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
2: You Create A Sense Of Mystery
When a guy pulls away, it can be tempting to chase after him or try to win him back. However, doing nothing in this situation can actually be a powerful strategy.
By not reacting or pursuing, you create a sense of mystery that intrigues him and makes him wonder what’s going on in your life.
One of the key aspects of creating mystery is maintaining your independence and showing you’re secure in yourself.
Instead of desperately trying to regain his attention, focus on other areas of your life and let him see that you’re confident and self-assured. This confidence will pique his curiosity and make him want to know more about you.
Another way to create mystery is to avoid being overly available. When he pulls away, resist the urge to reach out constantly or drop everything to accommodate him.
MORE: 3 Steps To Cultivate Feminine Mystery And Allure.
By giving him space and respecting his desire for distance, you demonstrate that you have a life outside of the relationship, and you don’t need his validation to feel fulfilled. This sense of self-sufficiency can be incredibly attractive to men.
In addition, make a point to continue enjoying your life and engaging in activities that make you happy.
This not only benefits you personally but also sends a powerful message to the guy. He will see that you aren’t dependent on him for your happiness, and this independence will draw him back in.
The next point is more for the ladies who are dealing with a control freak or power freak:
You have permission to be enigmatic in your communication. If he reaches out, keep your responses light-hearted, positive, and a bit mysterious. By not revealing everything about yourself, you give him a reason to want to discover more and re-engage with you.
You don’t want to tolerate power hungry behavior in a committed relationship.
Lastly, when a guy pulls away, it’s essential not to take it personally or assume it’s about you. Often, men pull away for reasons unrelated to their relationship, such as internal struggles or external stressors.
By not internalizing his actions and giving him the benefit of the doubt, you can create a healthy space for both of you while maintaining that air of mystery.
REVEALED: How To Get Him To Commit Emotionally In 5 Simple Steps.
3: You Get Time For Yourself
When a guy pulls away, try to remember that it’s not always about you. Instead of panicking, take this as an opportunity to focus on yourself and practice self-care.
As a dating and relationship coach, I’ve seen the benefits of taking a step back and giving both parties some space.
One of the main advantages of doing nothing is that it allows you to prioritize your own time.
This is a perfect moment to regain respect for your own schedule. It’s all about viewing his distance as a chance to invest energy into other areas of your life.
During this time, remember that you deserve relaxation and enjoyment too. You can take up new hobbies or pursue activities you’ve always wanted to try.
This could range from joining a yoga class to picking up painting or even learning a new language.
Making the most of this time also means reconnecting with your loved ones. Catch up with friends and family members, giving them the attention they deserve. Strengthen your bonds with them, and you may find that their support proves invaluable in navigating this uncertain period in your relationship.
Furthermore, consider using this opportunity to create or contribute something of value to the world.
Whether it’s volunteering at a local charity, writing a blog, or starting a small business, now’s the time to explore your passions and make a difference.
Related: 8 Unusual Signs He Will Eventually Commit.
Here are some quick tips on making the most of your time:
- Set boundaries for yourself, and stick to them.
- Prioritize your self-care and well-being.
- Develop new skills, and embark on personal projects.
- Strengthen your connections with friends and family.
By employing this unorthodox approach of “doing nothing,” you shift the focus from the guy who’s pulling away to your personal growth and happiness.
This not only helps you maintain your sense of self-worth but also makes you even more attractive in the long run.
4: You Get To Rebuild Your Feminine Energy, & His Masculine Energy
Depolarization in a relationship occurs when both individuals start to become more alike due to spending extensive time together.
While this can lead to a deeper connection, it can also decrease the strong attraction that drew you together in the first place.
One effective strategy when a man pulls away is to do nothing, allowing both parties to focus on rebuilding their core energies and re-establishing the masculine-feminine polarity.
Taking time apart encourages you to rekindle your feminine energy, while he can reconnect with his masculine core by rebuilding testosterone levels.
Revealed: The 7 Feminine Archetypes & Which One Are You?
Engaging in activities that foster your individual energies not only revitalizes your personal well-being but also helps to maintain a balanced, healthy relationship dynamic.
So, here’s what you can do:
When you’re apart, consider doing activities that celebrate your feminine side.
Try exploring creative outlets like painting or dancing, or indulge in self-care by taking a relaxing bubble bath or attending a gentle yoga class.
By doing so, you’re embracing your feminine energy, which naturally draws men to you.
As for him, time away from the relationship allows him to reconnect with activities that embody his masculine energy.
This could include engaging in competitive sports, going to the gym, or participating in social activities with his male peers. The time he spends rebuilding his own masculine energy will make him feel refreshed and drawn back to you.
Returning to the relationship with revitalized energies enhances the polarity in your relationship, creating a magnetic attraction between both parties.
Keep in mind that balancing your feminine and masculine energies is an ongoing process, and it’s essential to maintain your individuality and autonomy even while in a relationship.
Embracing this approach not only benefits your relationship but also promotes personal growth, as both you and your significant other will have the opportunity to explore individual passions and interests.
As a result, when you reunite, the bond between both of you will be stronger, and the mutual attraction will remain intact.
Although it may seem counterintuitive, sometimes the best action you can take when a guy pulls away is to simply do nothing.
This approach can lead to a stronger, healthier relationship that remains rooted in maintaining the essential balance between the feminine and masculine energies, ultimately keeping the spark alive.
5: You Show That There Are Other Dimensions To Your Life
As a dating coach, I can confidently suggest to you that when a guy pulls away, doing nothing is often one of the most powerful actions you can take.
Why?
Because it shows that you have other dimensions to your life beyond just chasing a man down. Let me explain further and help you understand how this approach can be beneficial for you and your relationship.
When you choose not to chase after a man when he pulls away, you’re actually communicating a very important message: you have a rich and fulfilling life outside of your relationship.
This means you’re investing your time and energy into your personal growth and well-being, which makes you an even more attractive and valuable partner.
For example, focusing on yourself could mean dedicating time to working out and staying in shape, which not only boosts your confidence but also improves your physical and mental health.
Another way to develop other dimensions of your life is by learning a new skill or pursuing a hobby, which can lead to a sense of accomplishment and happiness.
Additionally, nurturing new friendships and social connections can be a vital part of your well-being.
By spending your time with different people and engaging in various activities, you’re showing that you’re versatile, interesting, and well-rounded – qualities that those who are most attractive to others tend to possess.
It’s important to remember that doing nothing when a man pulls away doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings or being passive.
Instead, it means giving him space while you focus on your own personal growth and happiness. This article offers great insights on how to stay high value during this process.
Your newfound confidence and self-assurance will be incredibly appealing to a man, and it’s likely to draw him back to you once he’s had time to sort out his feelings.
There is something irresistible about a person who prioritizes their own happiness and personal development – it conveys independence and emotional maturity, which are highly attractive traits.
When he pulls away, do nothing, and instead focus on all the amazing things you’re doing to build a fulfilling life for yourself – the right man will be naturally drawn to your energy and confidence.
Remember, you deserve an extraordinary relationship, and showcasing the other dimensions of your life is a crucial step towards achieving it.
Stay true to yourself and trust the process; love will always find its way to a heart that’s open and radiant.
6: You Get To Turn The Tables (If He’s A Power Freak)
Sometimes, when a guy pulls away, it’s not because he’s unsure about the relationship; instead, he might be a power freak who enjoys the power dynamics of making you feel like you need him.
In these situations, doing nothing can actually help you turn the tables on him.
When we say “turn the tables,” we mean changing the power dynamic in your favor.
By not reacting or chasing him when he pulls away, you show him that you’re not needy and can stand on your own.
This can be surprising and intriguing to a power freak, making him rethink his actions and possibly come back to you.
Remember that this step is only necessary if you know that the man you’re dealing with loves the power of pulling away, and it won’t be useful with someone who is simply unsure about the relationship.
I’ve personally seen many women successfully implement the “do nothing” approach when dealing with a power freak. Here are a few tips on how to make this work for you:
- Maintain your confidence: It’s easy to let your self-esteem take a hit when someone pulls away, but it’s important to stay strong and remind yourself that you are a valuable and desirable person, with or without him.
- Focus on yourself: Use the time he’s pulling away to concentrate on your own hobbies, interests, and self-improvement. This will not only make you feel better about yourself but also show him that you don’t desperately need him in your life.
- Give it time: Rushing to make a decision or confront him can backfire. Patience is key when it comes to turning the tables on a power freak.
- Understand his motives: If he genuinely cares about you and is pulling away for other reasons (such as fear of commitment or genuine personal issues), then turning the tables might not be the best approach. In these cases, focusing on the other seven parts of our article can help you navigate the situation more effectively.
Working Out When It’s Time to Walk Away
As much as you want to showcase your high value as a woman when he pulls away, there are several situations where it’s likely time to walk away.
Doing nothing when he pulls away can be a useful tactic, but there are situations where it’s best to recognize the signs and move on.
Here are a few points to consider when deciding if it’s time to walk away from a man who seems to be pulling away:
1. Consider how close you are to wanting to settle down: This is where you need to consider the stage of life you’re in, and whether you’re looking to settle down with a committed partner. If he’s showing signs of being non-committal or indifferent towards your relationship goals, it’s best to walk away. You deserve someone who’s on the same page with you and your relationship goals.
2. If you’ve been ghosted: If the man you’re dating has suddenly stopped responding to your calls and messages, it’s likely he has ghosted you. It’s important to recognize when a man is not willing to invest in the relationship, and it’s time to move on.
3. You’re Being ignored: You deserve to be with someone who values your thoughts and opinions, and who truly listens to you. If you find that he consistently ignores your feelings or is dismissive of your concerns, this is a clear indication that it’s time to walk away. (Revealed: Why Is He Ignoring Me? 12 No BS Reasons Why He’d Do This.)
4. You guys broke up: A breakup is often a clear sign that it’s time to move on. If he has decided to end the relationship, it’s essential to give yourself space to heal and not to chase after him. Focus on yourself and your own well-being, and as hard as it is, remember that there are plenty of men out there who would love to meet you.
5. Inconsistent communication: Consistent and reliable communication is key in any healthy relationship. If his communication patterns become erratic or distant, it could signal a lack of interest in maintaining a relationship. Don’t waste energy on a guy who isn’t willing to put in the effort.
6. Trust issues: Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship; a bar minimum to be maintained no matter what. If you find that you’re constantly doubting his intentions or feeling insecure, it might be indicative of deeper issues within the relationship. Reflect on whether you can rebuild trust or if it’s time to let go.
7. Emotional unavailability: Emotional connection is essential for you to feel bonded and safe in a relationship. Should you find that he’s consistently distant or unwilling to share his feelings, this could signify emotional unavailability. In such cases, it’s important to recognize that you can’t force someone to open up, but you can attempt to communicate with him through gentle understanding and encouragement.
Remember, you deserve to be in a happy, stable relationship with a man who appreciates and values you.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should you let a man pull away?
In most cases, it’s a good idea to give a man some space for about 1-2 weeks when he pulls away.
This allows him time to process his feelings and emotions without feeling pressured. However, if he continues to withdraw after this time, it might be necessary to initiate a conversation to understand the situation better.
Do men pull away because they like you?
Sometimes, men can pull away because they like you. This typically happens when they are afraid of their strong feelings for you or unsure of how to handle the intensity of their emotions.
In such a situation, giving them space and being patient can help them feel more comfortable opening up to you.
What is the best reaction when a man withdraws?
When a man withdraws, the most effective reaction is to remain calm and give him space.
By not panicking and respecting his need for distance, you demonstrate understanding and emotional maturity. This approach can create a sense of trust and encourage him to be more open about his feelings.
Should I ignore a guy who pulls away?
Ignoring a guy who pulls away can sometimes be detrimental to the relationship.
Instead, try to strike a balance between giving him space and being available for communication when he’s ready. You need to be able to not pressure him but still show that you care about his well-being.
If it’s getting to be too long that he’s pulling away, this article on how to to pull away to make him want you will help.
How to handle early dating when he pulls back?
In the early dating stages, when he pulls back, the most important thing is to try to maintain a sense of high self-worth and independence.
Continue focusing on your interests and hobbies while he processes his thoughts and feelings.
In the meantime, give him some space and be patient. It’s possible that he needs some time to figure out his emotions and how he wants to proceed in the relationship.
What goes on in a guy’s mind when he pulls away?
It’s not always easy to know exactly what’s going on in a guy’s mind when he pulls away, as each person is different.
Common reasons for withdrawal may include fear of commitment, past relationship baggage, or feeling overwhelmed by emotions.
Alternatively, it may simply be a manifestation of stress or personal life issues.
To better understand his perspective, you can try to ask him in a gentle, non confrontational way.
Related reading: 15 Secret Reasons Why Guys Act Distant When They Like You.
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.