Author: Varsha Asrani & Renée Shen
One of the most intriguing things that I always faced in my dating days was determining whether I was dealing with a pretender or a contender. Are you in the same predicament and unable to determine if your partner would ever commit to the relationship?
Subconsciously you might have already seen the traits that appear promising. However, as a woman, you would need more clarity about the direction of your relationship.
A man who is deeply in love with you would leave no stones unturned to show it to you. But what if he is too shy or is taking things too slowly? You still want clarity, correct?
There are times when a man is unable to verbalize his commitment towards you or your relationship (simply because many men don’t have the instinct to reassure you of their emotional commitment to you - unless they perceive your deep need for it. And communicating that deep need to him takes a vulnerability that many women simply don’t know how to embody).
But one can easily insinuate that a man is indeed emotionally committed to you through his actions and behavior.
Whether you are at a dating stage or have been involved with a guy for a while now, there are some definitive signs he will eventually commit. However, the signs that I would elaborate on in the coming sections are somewhat unusual, and only a guy who is taking you seriously would exhibit these behaviours.
Here are signs he will eventually commit:
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When a man is really taking the relationship seriously, he will focus on gestures that are all about feelings.
Because he is genuinely emotionally committed to you, and he feels deeply for you!
Instead of spoiling his gal with expensive gifts and treating her like a prized possession (as a lot of love bombers, insecure men and players actually do), he would consider his beloved to be an emotional being. Touching your heart is more important to him than showing off his wealth.
If you find him creating or bringing in inexpensive but heart-touching gifts, remember that it is one of the most promising signs he will eventually commit.
A man would rarely do such things for anyone (let aside put his brain together to find something meaningful) unless he is truly in love.
This is one of the most unusual things that a man in love would do to you. For some unexplainable reason, men find pleasure in annoying people they really love.
Ok, maybe it’s not an unexplainable reason - to be honest, men just love to push boundaries in order to induce emotion in a woman they love, because they secretly love seeing that emotion in your eyes!
The fact that he pays attention to your likes and dislikes is enough to prove that he is into you. I mean, that’s the only way he could have known about your pet peeve, right?
Finding delight in annoying you cutely is one way of showing deep affection. There are two things this annoying sign means:
This could be construed as one of the most definitive signs he will eventually commit. Imagine going out in a restaurant wearing a deep-cleavage gown. Does he often try to keep you covered by offering his coat? If he does, he believes you are meant to be together, and now you need to stop garnering the attention of other men!
Men like to keep valuable women for themselves, which sometimes means that your sexy parts are only meant for his eyes.
To him, you need not impress anyone else now since he is the one for you (in his heart). Covering your body in public is a cute gesture that indirectly says that he would be jealous when other men stare at you.
Men are actually more emotional than you think, especially when they’re falling in love, and tend to go too deep into feelings in the initial years of a relationship.
If you have already created an extraordinary impact on his heart, he is likely to feel equal pain and anger when you cry.
This happens because he is already emotionally connected to you. If your tears have no impact on him, he probably has not yet developed that connection, or he just doesn’t care about your feelings.
When I say physical intimacy, I am not directly referring to sex. It also includes the way he touches you publicly, holds your hand(s), kisses you, or hugs you. Men who are really in love and intend to give themselves fully to a woman would want to create a special moment with you.
For example, perhaps for your first kiss he would want it to be really magical - so he might create a romantic ambiance for the experience. The same goes when you have sex. It wouldn’t just be dropping off your clothes and jumping on the bed.
A man who is willing to commit would go to the deepest lengths to ensure that you are comfortable when getting intimate. He would also try to ensure that every such time is memorable to you.
If your guy does this for you, then it’s one of the clear signs he will eventually commit. He is just waiting for the right moment.
Saying something and actually doing it are entirely different things. Some men would go to any lengths to lie - just to get into your pants.
Women who are too naïve would even digest the flattery and go along with it. However, this is where you need to check whether he really means it or is just saying things with an ulterior motive.
You may test him out, and if your guy really is in love with you, trust me, he would actually find it difficult to lie to you.
Ask him any question and see if he answers back sensitively and without a rehearsed response.
If he is vulnerable to you and unafraid to be truthful to you always, it is one of the sure-shot signs he will eventually commit.
Have you ever noticed how he behaves in a crowd where numerous attractive ladies are present?
Do his eyes dart around checking their asses or bosoms? Or is he just focused on you and can’t get enough of you?
You realize where I am going with this, right?
Men are actually genetically built in a way that they can’t help but notice feminine beauty.
But when a man finds his ‘one and only’ - his life mate and wants to plan a life together with her, it would matter to him least who else is in the room. His full attention would be on you!
This is how men behave around their ‘one and only’ woman.
But the key is that there is only one woman who can be the one and only. Every other woman is in the basket of ‘one of many’.
That’s right. Men categorise women into one of two categories when they meet them, and you want to always ensure that you’re in the ‘one and only’ basket!
Would you like to know the 5 secrets to have him fall madly in love with you and BEG you to be his one and only? CLICK here to learn more about our program “Becoming His One And Only”.
(The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…)
Are you at the infancy stage of your relationship where things are just beginning to spark up? If yes, try kissing your guy on his cheeks without any prior indication. Just do it casually and see how he reacts to it. If you see him blushing, that means he is actually too much into you already.
Men who like to fool around rather than commit to you are least bothered by such gestures - it would be no big deal if you kissed such a guy on his cheek.
However, if after the cheek kiss you secretly find him dancing when no one is around, it might not be long before he commits to you.
There are times when getting mixed signals from your man becomes annoying. However, you need to realize that men need time to process their feelings and emotions, so you need to practice patience.
Not only that, but always remember that men are on a different relationship timeline than women, most of the time. This makes many men quite slow to commit, and you really need to have patience and understanding towards their experience of life and relationships, as they don’t always have the same urgency that you do.
Also, some men never develop the courage to tell you that they deeply love you, but show clear, unusual signs he will eventually commit (just like I mentioned above).
In such cases, you might have to be the one to take the initiative. Don’t coerce him but rather, support him in a way that he feels comfortable pulling out those feelings for you.
A man would only commit to you when you’re the one and only, and he considers you “wife-material.”
Now, the key here is that you want the man to emotionally commit to you - and not just commit to you or marry you because you clung to him, or because he thought it was the right thing to do.
You want him to be deeply in love with you and to make the decision to commit from that place, because that deep romantic love and deep emotional connection is what is going to form the inseparable pair bond between you both.
So what makes a man want to commit is him feeling deep emotional connection and deep emotional connection with you.
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
If you feel that he likes you but is scared to let you know about it, you can expect specific types of behavior from him such as:
Some men are not just scared to commit out of fear that they can’t trust you, some men are also scared to commit if they feel the girl is out of their league.
Suppose he has faced rejection before. He might fear that you will reject him too. In such instances, he might send mixed signals like sometimes looking for you while other times ignoring you.
Varsha is a writer and mother of a beautiful son. She has a dual Master’s degree in Business Management (Finance & Marketing) and Career Counselling certification. Her passion for learning led her to the teaching domain, where she shares the knowledge she gained over the years through education and personal life. She teaches students of ATMC College Melbourne (as a Management Faculty).
Author For National Council for Research on Women
Editor & Author For National Council for Research on Women. Founder & Author of the Popular Women's Relationship & Dating Advice Website, The Feminine Woman.
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