It’s an age-old conundrum; just when you start to feel a connection with a man, he pulls away.
Men running from love is a scenario many women have experienced, leaving them hurt, confused and even angry.
If this is you right now, don’t worry, we have some answers for you.
Understanding the reasons why men pull away is crucial to cultivating a healthy relationship with a man as it is actually a common paint point in relationships between a man and a woman.
Here’s the thing:
Men are often socialized to be strong, independent, and to hide their emotions.
This social conditioning may cause them to struggle with vulnerability and openness, making emotional intimacy challenging.
But it’s not just how men are socialized. It’s also about their biology and makeup as males.
To women, they can feel like aliens at times, and that’s partly because men tend to prioritize different things in dating and love than women do.
Revealed: When He Pulls Away, Do Nothing: 6 Reasons This Works.
Now:
The underlying reasons for a man running away from love can range from:
- Their nature as men
- How much value you show up with
- Their upbringing
- And their past experiences with women
These factors can significantly influence a man’s outlook on love and relationships, leading him to withdraw and avoid closeness.
Key Takeaways
- Men often pull away due to their biology, social conditioning, fear of vulnerability, and emotional complexities.
- Understanding the reasons behind this behavior helps in cultivating healthier relationships with men.
- Past experiences, upbringing, how the woman acts, and individual psychological aspects contribute to men running from love.
Why Do Men Run Away From Love? 11 Secret Reasons Why
In this section, I will delve into the reasons behind why men run away from love. Here are some possible reasons that can help you better understand this behavior.
1: He Has Avoidant Attachment Style
Men with an avoidant attachment style tend to distance themselves from their partners emotionally when they get close, seeking independence and self-reliance.
This creates a cycle in which they push their partner away to maintain their autonomy.
However, autonomy for an avoidant man is not really “autonomy” in the pure sense. It’s more like detachment, which is what makes it so hard to be with an avoidant.
Instead of bringing you closer, they may just push you away. And with more people having insecure attachment styles, this is becoming a more common reason why guys pull away.
Knowing about attachment styles can be useful in dissecting this behavior.
Here are some more resources that will help you if you think you might be dealing with an avoidant man:
- How To Get An Avoidant To Chase You: 7 High Value Tips.
- How To Make An Avoidant Miss You: 10 Proven Ways.
- Dismissive Avoidant Attachment: What Is It & 7 Obvious Signs.
- Fearful Avoidant Vs Dismissive Avoidant: Differences & FAQ.
2: He’s Emotionally Unavailable
This reason ties into the previous reason, as avoidant men are usually emotionally unavailable.
However, sometimes even securely attached men can be described as “emotionally unavailable”, not because they actually are, but because the consciously choose to be emotionally unavailable to a particular woman.
This is usually due to a lack of desire to commit to her.
Truly Emotionally unavailable men (usually men who are insecurely attached), may seek relationships but struggle to form deep emotional connections, remaining guarded and unable to fully commit.
This can be due to:
- Attachment trauma
- Past experiences
- Unresolved issues, or
- The fear of being vulnerable
Understanding the emotionally unavailable man may shed light on why they run from love.
3: He Only Wanted Sex From You (Even If He Said Otherwise)
Why do men run away?
Well, some men may pursue relationships just for the physical aspect, even if they claim to want more.
When the possibility of a deeper connection arises, they may distance themselves, as it was not their initial intention.
As a woman you want to ensure that you test a man and know his intentions before sleeping with him.
If you’re ok with him leaving after being intimate with him, that’s ok.
But if you know you want more with him, it’s wise to hold off on being physically intimate with him, and it likely means nothing for him as a man, while it could lead to emotional attachment for you.
4: He’s Been Badly Hurt In The Past
If your man runs away, it could be because he’s been very hurt before.
Men who have experienced heartbreak, such as being cheated on or lied to, may have trust issues that make them hesitant to rely on a woman in the future.
This can lead them to feel apprehensive about entering a committed relationship, fearing the chance of experiencing pain again.
That being said, as we all know (and have likely witnessed), if the right woman comes along, a man will make it work with her, even while feeling terrified inside.
If you’re struggling to get your man to commit, let me share with you ONE specific emotional trigger inside of every man that makes him want to commit to one woman and take care of her for life:
CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.
5: He Loves You, But He’s Not In Love With You
In some cases, a man may love and care for you but not have the romantic feelings required for a deep, lasting connection.
This distinction can cause confusion, because a lot of people assume that being in love is a bad thing for a long term relationship.
But what they’re thinking of is not romantic love, it’s more infatuation or lust.
What you want a man to feel with you is romantic love.
When he feels in love with you, he will see you as his “one and only”.
When you’re his one and only, it becomes extremely hard to even get rid of him.
Ultimately, it’s important to try to keep in mind that when men feel no romantic love, it can make them pull away from love.
MORE: How Do Men Fall In Love? 6 High Value Traits Men Routinely Fall In Love With.
6: You Were Acting Too Desperate
The desperation that some ladies feel for love and commitment can sometimes come across as overbearing and make a man feel uncomfortable, leading him to distance himself to protect his own space.
And not to mention his resources.
Men aren’t really looking for just any woman to invest their resources into.
They want to invest their resources in the ‘right’ woman, and that right woman is the one in their “one and only” basket.
There’s nothing wrong with desiring love and commitment, but if you’re unintentionally showing up low value (which a lot of women do even when they are naturally high value), it may cause him to pull away.
There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
7: You Were A Rebound Girl For Him
It is common for a guy to jump into new relationships shortly after a breakup as a way to cope with the pain.
However, these “rebound” relationships often lack substance, and men may eventually distance themselves when they realize the connection isn’t genuine.
Remember this:
Just because a guy comes on strong, doesn’t mean he’s serious about you. It can mean he’s serious about you, but it takes a bit of time to truly find out.
Related: 15 Warning Signs Your Boyfriend is Losing Interest: How to Save Your Relationship.
8: He’s A Player
Some men may not be looking for a serious relationship and are more interested in playing the field, with no intentions of settling down.
These “players” can often give mixed signals to their women and eventually leave when you want more, or when the relationship begins to deepen emotionally.
Recommended: 8 EXACT Steps to Be High Value When He Pulls Away.
9: He’s Going Through Something Stressful
If you’re finding that your man runs away, ask yourself whether it’s possible that he’s dealing with something highly stressful in his life.
External factors, such as work stress or personal problems, can cause men to withdraw from relationships temporarily.
This can manifest as them distancing themselves to focus on addressing these issues independently.
I you suspect this might be the case, the best thing to do is show him that you’re a high value woman.
How do you do that?
- By not appealing to him using guilt trips
- By not being controlling; and
- By adding real value as a woman
CLICK Here to Learn The One Missing Key to Becoming A High Value Woman Whom Men Adore.
10: He’s Confused About His Feelings
All types of emotions and feelings come up in a romantic relationship, and certain types of men can also experience confusion when it comes to understanding their own feelings.
This confusion can cause them to pull away from love as they try to untangle their emotions and find clarity in their desires.
It is essential to remember that these reasons are not set in stone and can vary depending on the individual man as well as the context.
My goal to help you understand the potential reasons behind why men run from love and provide guidance for navigating these situations, and one thing I can say is this:
He’s not going to be confused by his feelings when there are high levels of emotional connection and emotional attraction in the relationship.
Even the most confused men can be overcome with real, true love for a woman and that cuts through all the uh-ming and ah-ing, and all the apparent confusion.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do guys run away when they find the perfect girl?
Men might run away when they find the perfect girl due to various reasons, such as:
- Fear of commitment
- Past relationship trauma, or
- The simple fact that they didn’t actually find the perfect girl. (Remember a lot of men might tell you you’re the perfect girl for the wrong reasons.)
Ultimately you will have to make a call as to which reason most applies to your man.
It is important to understand that everyone has their own insecurities and working through these emotions can be a difficult process.
In some cases, men may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions and feel that running away is the best way to cope.
So give him the space he needs in order to process his feelings, but don’t wait around forever.
In fact, when a man pulls away, the last thing you should do is simply hang around or wait around, lingering as if he’s your only option in life.
You don’t want to act like you’re above him of course, as that is all just fake stuff.
But you also don’t want to give him the idea that your life is worth nothing without him.
Why do men pull away after getting close?
Men might pull away after getting close due to several reasons, including fear of vulnerability, a need for independence, or an attempt to regain control.
In some cases, the man might be testing the relationship’s strength or evaluating his feelings for the woman.
Men pull away quite often after getting close, as they need to regain their testosterone levels. So if you’ve noticed that your man pulls away after intimacy, keep that in mind, and try not to take it personally.
Do men run away when they have feelings?
The emotions that arise when falling in love can be intense, and some men might feel overwhelmed or scared by these strong feelings.
Running away might be a temporary coping mechanism to gain control of their emotions, especially if they fear rejection or have experienced heartbreak in the past.
It is important to remember that everyone processes their feelings differently, and providing a safe space for conversation and feelings to be shared can allow him to open up.
What happens when you back off from a guy?
When you back off from a guy, it gives him the opportunity to evaluate his feelings and actions.
Taking a step back can often be a catalyst for clarity and realization about what he truly wants in a relationship.
If you want to learn more about what a man goes through when you back off, read this article on How Does A Man Feel When A Woman Walks Away? 7 Feelings He’s Hiding.
Giving him space and time can lead to more meaningful conversations about your relationship’s future.
However, it is essential to maintain a balance of giving space without pushing him away completely or neglecting his needs….
Recommended: 11 Unusual Ways To Pull Away To Make Him Want You.
Why do men get scared and pull away?
Men can get scared and pull away from a relationship for various reasons, such as:
- Simply needing space
- Feeling suffocated
- Needing time to rebuild his masculine equilibrium
- Fear of commitment, vulnerability; or
- Not feeling worthy of a woman’s love
If you can, you can try to have open and honest communication during these times to address any underlying issues that might be causing fear or uncertainty.
Why would a man leave?
A man might leave a relationship for several reasons, including:
- Not feeling like their woman is feminine enough (ie: there’s not enough value in committing to said woman – two masculine souls don’t usually go well together romantically)
- Unaddressed issues
- Not being in love
- Unresolved emotional baggage, or
- Feeling like the relationship is not fulfilling.
Try to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as every individual and relationship is unique.
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.