11 Unusual Ways to Pull Away to Make Him Want You

It’s no secret that relationships require a healthy balance of closeness and distance to thrive.

That doesn't mean distance has to equal disconnection. It just means that each person needs space as well as their own identity outside of the relationship.

When things become too close for too long, it can cause tension or even lead to feeling suffocated.

This is the point where a man may pull away, making you worry that he is losing interest.

One thing you can do when he does this is to pull away - but with intent to reignite the attraction in the relationship.

Pulling away is one way to create a spark in your relationship and make him want you more.

There are 11 answers to how to pull away to make him want you, but just before we get into that, let's get really clear on what it means to pull away.

Pulling away is a term used to describe the distance created between two people in a relationship.

This can be accomplished by both physical space, such as when one person takes a break from social media or plans solo adventures.

And emotional space, such as when someone stops trying to please everyone or listens without responding immediately.

It's important to establish a healthy balance between closeness and distance in order for your relationship to flourish and thrive.

Pulling away can create a spark in your relationship and make him want you even more.

What Are The Benefits of Pulling Away?

Pulling away can have a variety of benefits, especially when guys lose interest.

It provides the opportunity for each person to reconnect with themselves, as well as their partner, on a deeper level.

The space created allows both individuals to reflect on how they communicate, how they handle conflicts, how they show love, and how much time and energy is devoted to the relationship.

Pulling away also gives both parties time to appreciate one another without feeling overwhelmed or suffocated by too much closeness.

Ultimately, pulling away can help strengthen all relationships.

It can even strengthen a serious relationship where two people have been together for a long time.

It's important to know that pulling away is not about being mean and playing games with his mind.

Ultimately it's about:

  • Creating healthy space
  • Having your own life that you feel really fulfilled by; and
  • Giving yourself the opportunity to make a guy miss you

With that said, let's get into the nitty gritty of how to pull away to make him want you.

1. Take a Break From Social Media

Taking a break from social media can make him appreciate how dedicated you are to the connection between the two of you.

Ironically, by creating distance on social media, you're actually helping yourself in creating more closeness with him.

It can also create an air of mystery that will draw him in and make him want to find out more about you.

Being more emotionally and mentally present in your relationship, away from all other distractions will show how much you value real connection.

This is a great opportunity to focus on yourself and prioritize what really matters—creating a connection with him!

Let go of who’s liking what, how many followers someone has, who posted what—all of that can wait.

Instead, focus on how you can make your relationship and connection stronger.

2: Give Him Space

Giving him space is an important part of pulling away to make him want you.

Letting him explore his own interests and passions without interference from you can make him appreciate how understanding and supportive you are.

Don’t be afraid to encourage him to pursue his dreams, but respect that he needs some time away from you as well.

Instead of constantly calling or texting, give each other a few days off in between conversations so that both parties can have uninterrupted alone time.

Giving him space lets him miss your presence and reminds him how special it is when the two of you reconnect.

3. Stop Trying to Please Him

The next step for how to pull away to make him want you is to stop trying to please him.

Stop trying to do the things that you feel would make him:

  • Like you more
  • Approve of you more; or
  • Give you more attention

Ultimately, if he wants to give you attention, he will - and men usually give you attention when you inspire it in them through your feminine radiance.

Also, constantly trying to make sure you've "got" him, or making sure he is happy can leave you feeling exhausted and taken for granted.

Taking a step back and learning how to balance caring for your own feminine soul as well as others will help create an attractive aura that he won’t be able to resist.

Yes, there truly is nothing more irresistible than a woman who values herself, her time, her health and in turn, knows how to value those things for the sake of her man as well.

In other words, by giving to yourself, you'll be giving to him more.

This will create a feeling of abundance in your relationship and allow you to feel more feminine and attractive.

Would you like to discover exactly how feminine you are naturally?

You can find out for yourself with our quick and easy quiz! QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!


In your efforts to stop pleasing him (and others), don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself, either.

Asserting your own needs and making sure they're met shows how strong and independent you are!

Making sure not to overextend yourself in order to keep someone else happy will benefit both of you in the long run.

Let him know how you feel and how much he means to you, but remember that it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.

4. Create an Air of Mystery And Feminine Allure

Creating an air of mystery is one of the most effective ways to pull away and make him want you more.

Here's how to do it:

  • Try to avoid oversharing due to anxiety
  • Engage and connect with both your dark feminine and your light feminine
  • Relax into your feminine energy because it naturally flows in and out of different states and emotions, creating intrigue in men (as long as it's natural, not contrived.) You don't have to pretend to be in control and happy all the time.

These steps will intrigue him enough to want to get to know you better and keep him wanting more.

Also, not being overly available or giving out too much information can also help maintain an air of mystery.

Remember this (and this is something I learned from the relationship expert, D.Shen: information is not value.)

If you'd like to learn more about becoming a woman of mystery and feminine allure (and make ANY man adore you in the process), CLICK here to read our FREE report on Becoming the World's Most Attractive and Feminine Goddess.

(The information in our Goddess report works even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention…)

5. Plan Solo Adventures

When it comes to how to pull away to make him want you, planning solo adventures is an effective way.

Taking a break from your daily routine to spend time with yourself and be adventurous is helpful because it helps you add value to yourself.

It shakes up your habits, allows you to connect with new people and offers you new insights.

I know it can be hard to do if you're heavily focused on a guy, but that's why it's important.

Think of activities that you can do alone like exploring a new city or hiking a nearby trail.

This will give him the space he needs without compromising how important the relationship is for you both.

Showing how capable and confident you are in choosing these experiences will only make him more attracted to you!

So pick an exciting activity, plan it out, and let yourself have some fun without waiting for his approval.

6. Take Time for Yourself in Small Ways Throughout the Day

One of the most effective ways to pull away and make him want you more is to take time for yourself throughout the day.

This doesn’t mean that you have to completely cut off communication with him, but simply taking short breaks here and there to:

  • Appreciate life
  • To spend time in nature; or
  • Connect with others can enrich you and renew your feminine energy as well.

You can even just do some deep breathing exercises; anything that allows you to pull away from always worrying what he's feeling or thinking.

Remember, sometimes to appear high value all you need is a break from your own tunnel vision and anxiety - that's probably all oriented towards him.

So don’t be afraid to take time for yourself in small ways throughout the day to make him want you more.

7. Vary Your Verbal Responses

One of the most effective ways to pull away and make him want you more is to vary your verbal responses.

Instead of giving a straight answer, try asking questions or making comments that challenge how he thinks.

(Not for the purpose of starting a fight or being annoying, of course. But for the purpose of getting to. deeper insight together!)

This brings a new layer to your conversations and can allow you to connect with him on a different level.

Avoiding short answers or one-word replies can also help keep him guessing and make him more curious about who you are as a person.

This leads us to the next, arguably the most important step for how to pull away to make him want you, and that's using the art of high value banter.

8: Engage in High Value Banter With Him

How are you pulling away from him if you're engaging in banter with him?

Well it's technically not pulling away in the traditional sense, but if you do banter right, it actually allows you to:

  • Change up how you normally communicate
  • Bring playfulness to the table
  • Create a deeper connection without having to be in touch all the time
  • Create uncertainty, excitement and romantic tension (which are all crucial ingredients for making a man fall in love with you; and
  • Build emotional attraction with a man, in a way that makes you look high value.

Here's an example of playful banter:

You say:

"Hey, I like your shoes. Pity about your hair though!"

Does this sound mean to you? If it does, then you're not thinking of actual banter in the authentic sense.

You're thinking of abusive communication, which banter is never meant to be.

So play around with playful banter. If you'd like many more examples to copy and paste to build emotional attraction with the BEST of men, CLICK here to take D.Shen's FREE high value banter class.

9. Listen Without Responding Immediately

You can pull away by creating space, too. And this is what focusing on listening does-it creates space.

Reduce the amount of talking you do and listen instead.

This will create space for him to say what he wants and feels, and you can make him feel heard.

Feeling heard is important for anyone, but especially when a man is losing interest, because it's a form of value in your relationship.

You don't always have to focus on your fears, your worries or whether he likes you still or not.

Instead you can focus on making him feel heard and giving space to all that he has to go through in life.

As a masculine man, he will likely appreciate being listened to and it shows you respect him - and all masculine men deeply seek and desire respect from attractive women.

10. Let Go of Expectations and Control Issues

Letting go of expectations and control issues is crucial.

This doesn’t mean that you have to ignore how you feel or how you want the relationship to be; it simply means that you should strive to accept things as they are and not impose your own expectations on how things should be.

This will show how mature, understanding, and supportive you are even when faced with tough situations.

Your independence and willingness to let things take their natural course will make him appreciate how patient and understanding you can be.

So don’t be afraid to let go of expectations and control issues; it could just be the key factor for making him want you all over again!

By the way, if you know you have a deep seated need to control things due to anxiety or fear, you could have what is called an anxious attachment style.

Anxious attachment is a form of insecure attachment and can wreak havoc in your relationships with men if you don't know how to self soothe.

To get some clarity around your own attachment style, I recommend you take our free quiz to discover your CORE attachment style:

QUIZ TIME: What is my core attachment style? CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz!

(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)

11. Make Him Wonder Whether You Trust Him Or Not

All masculine men want their woman to trust them - this is a secret a lot of women do not know.

Your trust is erotic and high value for men.

So if you truly feel like you've lost trust for him, express it to him, but the key is that you have to express it in a way that doesn't completely drive him away.

(Because if a man knows that you do not trust him at all, it may make him feel less invested in you and more distant.)

If he truly deserves your lack of complete trust, sure, express that.

But if there are little things he does that make you feel uncertain, unsafe or worrying, let him know that it scares you and makes you unsure of whether trusting him is the right decision or not.

Don't do this out of spite, as it will backfire spectacularly.

Just go with what you already feel and highlight that in a genuine, soft and feminine way.


Pulling away and making him want you more doesn’t have to be complicated.

By using these 10 tips, you can draw on your natural femininity and understanding of how he thinks in order to create an aura of intrigue and mystery that will make him want you all over again.

So don't be afraid to take the first step; with a little effort you can truly bring him closer to you, wanting every last inch of you as a woman!

Leave a comment if you have any questions, thoughts or suggestions for me!

Frequently Asked Questions

How to make him crave you?

Making a man crave you is not about playing mind games or manipulating him.
It's about being confident, authentic and creating a genuine connection with the person.

Here are some actionable steps that can help:

  1. Be authentic.

    Authenticity is key to building a strong connection with a man through vulnerability. Don't try to be someone you're not or pretend to like things just to impress him.
  2. Show genuine interest in his life.

    People love talking about themselves, so ask him questions and show genuine interest in his hobbies, passions, and goals.

  3. Take care of yourself.

    Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally also allows you to take care of a man and bring more value to a man’s life in the process.

  4. Create positive memories together.

    Doing fun activities together or going on adventures can create positive memories that he'll associate with you.

  5. Be emotionally supportive.

    Support his dreams and aspirations by encouraging him along the way.

  6. Show appreciation.

    Let him know when he does something that makes you happy or feel appreciated.

Remember, making someone crave you isn't about changing who you are or manipulating them into liking you – it's about building a genuine connection based on mutual respect, trust, and attraction.

Case study: Discover how Alison ended her cycle of abusive relationships by learning to quickly weed out the "wrong types of men", inspiring deep devotion from her chosen man and passing the hardest test of them all - an accidental pregnancy after a month of dating! (...All because of this one simple skill every woman should have.)

What happens to a man when a woman pulls away?

When a woman pulls away from a man in a relationship, it can bring up a range of emotions for him.

He may feel confused, rejected, or anxious about the future of the relationship.

It’s best not to manipulate him by pulling away - instead pull away in a way that adds value to the relationship (all the steps on how to do this are listed above).

Sit back and let him come to you. Does this actually work?

We often hear the advice to "sit back and let him come to you" when it comes to romantic pursuits, but does this strategy actually work?

Research suggests that playing hard to get can be effective in getting a potential partner's attention, but only up to a certain point.

In reality, pursuing a relationship requires mutual effort and communication. If you want to attract a man, focus on building a connection rather than playing mind games.

Attachment style quiz
Penny Hoffman
Renee Shen

Penny Hoffman

Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.

Renée Shen

Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.

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