Author: Jerri W & Renée Shen
Do you ever feel like there must be something missing from your knowledge or repertoire when it comes attracting and keeping a man?
Like there is some secret love recipe, or male attraction potion that all the women who have found love must know about, yet nobody is sharing.
I have felt that way more times than I would like to admit. I have been in the position of a woman who is desperate for clues and confirmation that a man is serious about her many times.
It can be the most overwhelmingly frustrating experience, but fret no more as I have a wealth of information here to share with you!
The good news is that men will often display very specific types of behaviour when they are emotionally attracted to a woman, and I have summed them all up here for you in 12 powerful signs of emotional attraction from a man.
Just before we get into it, you may also want to know that there’s actually one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you. CLICK Here if you’d like to learn the One Specific Emotional Trigger.
Table of Contents
Emotional attraction is the foundation of a healthy and lasting relationship. Without it there is only surface level types of attraction, like:
To be emotionally attracted to somebody is to be in love with the qualities they own as a person - it is about who they are. It is their values, morals, dreams and goals, and how those things make you feel about them!
Although superficial factors that attract us to the opposite sex matter to an extent, we know that looks, status and money mean less in the overall scheme of things.
Yet it is a little-known fact that emotional attraction and connection is everything to a man. (Yes, it is even more important than how you look or if you are good in bed!)
You have probably heard the phrase “men are simple creatures”. Try to think of this not as derogatory towards men, (as it is sometimes intended to be), but rather a compliment.
Because it is true. When it comes to signs of emotional attraction from a man, men are simple creatures indeed.
As women we are prone to feminine biases in thinking that hold men to standards that are not applicable to masculinity.
In other words, you could say that women are biologically wired to create and nurture life in a way that makes them approach dating and relationships differently to men.
This can trip us up sometimes, and when we are looking at attraction from only our own perspective it is easy to become confused.
This is to say that the signs of emotional attraction from a man can be rather simple, but women tend to overthink and read signs that aren’t there when they are, and vice versa.
In discovering the power of true emotional attraction, you might be wondering things like:
How do I get a man to want me for my heart and mind, over my physical attributes (which will inevitably fade over time)?
If men are such visual and physical creatures like we are told, is it even possible to be wholly desired for who you truly are?
The answer is a resounding yes!
Men want a strong emotional connection in their romantic relationships just as much (if not more) than women.
For men, a romantic partner is often their only outlet for the expression of true emotion and a feeling of comfort and safety.
As we discussed earlier, there are reasons that men think a bit differently about relationships.
Knowing how to inspire a man’s heart and mind to be committed to you forever is going to go an awfully long way towards allowing him to connect to you emotionally.
Taking it a step further and learning the keys to triggering that emotional attraction is a game changer. This lesson allowed me to break my cycle of wasting time with the wrong men and men who desired me for all the wrong reasons!
So, what triggers emotional attraction in a man?
In short, it’s the following things:
And here are the ways we can trigger emotional attraction in a man:
We will talk some more about these a bit later, but for now let us get into the 12 powerful signs of emotional attraction from a man.
If you notice him bringing up or remembering details from your past conversations and interactions, then this is a sure sign that he cares and feels emotionally attracted to you.
These could look like:
As you can see there are a lot of ways this could be expressed but one thing will remain, he will care to know and remember things about you.
Basic knowledge about human behaviour and body language is a great tool for assessing a man’s feelings when he is in your presence.
Keep in mind that this does not mean that you always have to be in his presence for him to feel emotionally attracted to you, or that your physical presence alone is what dictates his feelings entirely (although it can!).
Think of it more as just one tool to gauge a man's comfort level with you and to assess whether he clearly feels a “pull” towards you.
A man who feels emotionally attracted and connected to you may:
Remember when we mentioned earlier that you can create emotional attraction with a man using playful banter?
Well, similarly, if a man is emotionally attracted to you, he will banter back when you initiate any kind of banter.
There’s an important disclaimer here though: just because a man banters back with you, doesn’t always mean he is falling in love or feels emotional attraction - he could just be a playful guy in general.
But it is also true that if a man is falling in love (emotionally attracted to you), he will at the very least, try to banter back and keep engaging with you in an attuned way.
He wants nothing more than to engage with you!
And whether a man can banter back with you (bounce back at you) says a lot about whether he’s the kind of man who is likely to actually be able to feel emotional attraction at all.
In other words: men who are too stiff, boring, highly strung, narcissistic or easily offended will be bad candidates for the dance of love and for falling in love in the first place.
The narcissists and the men who have zero desire to get to know you emotionally and connect with you will not banter back for long (usually there will be no effort to banter back at all), because they don’t want to invest any extra energy in bantering with you (it either throws them off their game, or they’re too insecurely attached or toxic to understand the value of banter).
See: banter is a natural part of the dance of love, and it is THE way you can open the door to deeper conversations with men and reach them emotionally, causing them to feel emotionally attracted to you.
So if he willingly banters with you playfully over time, this is not only one of the possible signs of emotional attraction from a man, it means he’s one of the better guys who is not too toxic or jaded to connection emotionally and fall in love.
Have you tried high value banter yourself? If not, you’re definitely missing out on the best guys! So many women from our community have attracted high value guys (and eliminated the low quality guys) by using what we call the dark feminine art of high value banter.
CLICK here to discover why you as a woman need to use the dark art of “High Value Banter” in order to quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the "BEST of MEN"! (...Even if no man has ever given you any love and all you've encountered so far are pen pals, ghosts, booty calls, and incredible duds!)
Don’t know what the dark feminine art of “High Value Banter” is? CLICK to find out.
They say that time is our greatest asset. It is the only thing we cannot get more of; we all have the same 24 hours in each day that could be taken from us without a moment’s notice.
You could say that where we spend our time is a huge reflection of what we most value. And given how busy modern life is, most of us aren’t too generous with our time.
So, if he is consistently and reliably investing time into you and your relationship (without you having to demand him to be with you), then he is very emotionally attracted and this is one of the telltale signs of emotional attraction from a man!
If he is time poor due to work, family or other commitments and he still chooses to make time for you, then this is particularly poignant.
A man who does not have a lot of free time yet still makes time for you is no doubt in love with you.
If you’re thinking you can’t be sure if he truly values you and his time with you, there’s one thing you can say that will test it and reveal it to you:
This can be a hard sign to gauge because a man is going to have a lot of very different thoughts, feelings and behaviours to you (just as any other individual human would, because we are all so different!).
However, when he listens to your opinions and feelings about things while showing genuine concern or enthusiasm, then there’s a good chance he is enamoured with you!
It requires some serious emotional energy to genuinely engage with the thoughts and feelings of others - especially if the other person isf othe opposite sex.
(It can be a bit harder to relate to each other, and men and women have so many opposing values when dating).
So if he does show genuine concern and interest for your feelings, he is very emotionally keen, and it shows that he is forming an emotional connection with you, as well as feeling emotional attraction.
Just be discerning with this and don’t get too carried away with excitement if he shows these signs (until he shows up with care and concern for your feelings reliably over time).
Because there are sneaky men out there who can fake it real good! If you want to find out how commitment friendly he is for sure, then you’re in the right place, because we have a quiz specially crafted for you so you can assess the likelihood of him committing to you:
QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!
At risk of sounding like a romantic cliché with this sign, it is undeniable in my own experience.
In my more emotionally based connections, it was as clear as day in the way he looked at me.
As the old idiom claims,
”The eyes are the window to the soul”
So what would “the look” in his eyes look like? It could look like:
If you have experienced it before then you will know what I am talking about, if you have not then you are in the right place!
I actually have a guide that will quickly turn you into a goddess that easily and effortlessly draws the eyes of men and makes them feel powerfully emotionally attracted to you: CLICK to Learn How to Become the World’s Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention…)
One of the top signs of emotional attraction from a man is that he’s protective of you!
Protectiveness is not to be confused with possessiveness, and nor would protectiveness be demonstrated in a toxic or unhealthy way (like if he was actually unhealthily obsessed with you).
It is about showing care for your safety, wellbeing and your highest good.
It is a natural human trait to feel protective over the people we’re invested in and emotionally connected to.
These are the people we usually love and value the most.
If he shows protective behaviours with you then these are solid signs of emotional attraction from a man.
This is an amusing point of contention seen between masculine men and feminine women.
Ie: as women we are wired to talk and share verbally to connect with each other. We share to bond and to find support through sharing our feelings and struggles with others.
This is primarily how we bond! We look for and offer support within our families and social groups by doing this.
This is in fact a skill we have perfected over thousands of years of evolution that serves ourselves and our children and families, and also enriches our feminine souls.
Men on the other hand, tend to be more focused on finding solutions than they are on simply talking about their feelings with each other.
Social conditioning aside, there are profound reasons that men are more often practical and solution focused.
If you are talking about your problems (whether big or small), and he tries to offer you advice, solutions or answers, then it likely means he really cares for you!
Surprisingly, men do not do this to annoy or undermine us (even if it sometimes feels like that because often, we just want someone to listen and comfort us rather than solve our problems).
However to come across as uncaring is most likely not his intention at all when he offers you his thoughts or solutions.
It can help to reserve the bulk of your emotional venting for your friends and other women in your life. Sometimes you must let your man be a man and just accept his attempts to help you.
If a man shares a lot of information with you that’s close to his heart and he shares it in a vulnerable way, that’s one of the very telling signs of emotional attraction from a man.
I once read somewhere that there is a big difference between opening up to someone and disclosing things about yourself.
I have found this to be an important differentiation because when people disclose information about themselves, they aren’t necessarily doing it out of vulnerability or trust (even if it is very personal or sensitive information!).
People can be motivated to disclose information for many reasons.
Some people use others as a form of free therapy or as an emotional crutch.
Over sharing to create a false sense of intimacy is also a tactic commonly used by low value and manipulative people!
(You don’t want to be that woman if you can help it!)
There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
So how do you tell the difference?
You learn to become attuned to yourself and the people around you. Becoming attuned to men and your relationships with them will allow you to be able to see and feel clearly, his motivations and intentions with you.
One of the clear signs of emotional attraction from a man is that he doesn’t hesitate to share his emotional, financial and physical resources with you.
I want to approach this point very carefully as there is so much debate and misinformation out there about men, masculinity and their role as providers in society and relationships.
Furthermore, many women support attitudes of entitlement and have expectations of resources that they have not earned - we’re talking about money (financial resources) here of course.
We see examples of this everyday in our private online community. Many women are led by the wrong advice, perhaps even by well-meaning intent.
They were led to believe that real value from a man correlates with his financial success.
In a dating situation, it is not high value to go into it with expectations of being provided for, including the entire cost of all dates and other activities.
(This doesn’t mean that you cannot ever have that or accept that from a man. This is specifically about expectations).
It just means that your expectations are the exact thing that put you out of attunement with a man and therefore risk you looking low value).
In saying that, if he offers or insists on paying for you, or if he shares a large chunk of his financial resources with you, then he is probably very invested emotionally in you!
This is particularly true of men who have had bad experiences in the past. For example, men who have had long-term relationships, separations and divorces may be particularly weary of a woman who is overly focused on his finances.
Not to mention the men who do not have a lot financially but still like to treat their woman and pay for things.
So if you are seeing a man who doesn’t have much or has been burned badly in the past and he still happily reaches for his wallet, it’s one of the top signs of emotional attraction from a man.
This is very similar to point 7 but is a bit of an extension of it.
If he goes one above offering advice and solutions, and he actively goes out of his way to save the day and solve your problem, then you have this man hooked!
As a side note this can be a brilliant way to test a man and his emotional commitment. And no, testing is not the same as playing games. It is wise to test men frequently in the early stages.
Perhaps if more women knew how to test a man authentically, they would avoid repeatedly getting involved with the wrong types of men.
So, let us consider that testing a man and his willingness to be your hero are good gauges of his emotional investment in you. (And consequently is one of the powerful signs of emotional attraction from a man).
What could this look like?
· You have a financial problem, he offers to help
· Something around your home needs moving or fixing, he gets it done without hesitation
· You ask for assistance with a mundane task like shopping or choosing furniture, he happily joins you
As you can see, these opportunities to assist you could be big or small. What you will discover is that an emotionally invested man will take the opportunity to help you where he can.
Another one of the signs of emotional attraction from a man is that he actually tells you he feels attracted to you on an emotional level!
Then again, some men don’t even know what emotional attraction is, and these men won’t be able to say it directly.
He might not know exactly what his feelings mean, or how to articulate them in the best possible way, but if he is emotionally attracted to you then he will at least want to express it verbally.
The most obvious way to tell someone is one of the most popular phrases in any language,
‘’I Love you”, but these are not easy words to say, and they hold a lot of weight to most people. On the other hand, they are just words, and anyone can use them without meaning.
As such, you’ll have to look for the “I love yous” that are expressed using other words! Try to look for more subtle signs of emotional attraction from a man in the way he speaks about you and your relationship.
You could ask yourself a few questions to get on the right track, for example:
The answers to these questions will give you a world of insight into how emotionally attracted he is to you.
THE OPPOSITE OF EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION: 13 Warning Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Man.
So now that we’re done with the signs of emotional attraction from a man, let’s look at some signs a man feels safe with you.
As we briefly covered earlier, a feeling of safety is a huge aspect of emotional attraction and connection.
As human beings with full lives, full plates, responsibilities and colourful pasts, we all crave a person that is a safe place from the tough world for us.
Whether we need mental, physical or emotional support, or just a break from the mundane, it is always better when these things are offered from a place of genuine trust and connection…
…Ie: from somebody who truly loves you.
Men tend to have less opportunities for this feeling of safety than women do, because they don’t prioritise sharing and talking about their emotions and processing their grief or hurt with each other.
They do not always like to talk about their problems or lean on others, this is why an emotional connection with a woman is so important to a man! Without her, the amount of emotional support in his life may be negligible.
That is the cold reality for a masculine man.
So, what are the signs a man feels safe with you?
Here are a few signs:
Case study: From icebreaker to engagement in just 8 months… Discover the exact steps Yana took and the specific banter lines she used in order to attract the man of her life online and inspired him to propose after a short 8 months. (And then married within another 2 months…)
You could decipher all the signs of emotional attraction from a man, plus all the signs that he feels safe with you, and still feel uncertain about his feelings.
Doubts are common and normal from time to time in relationships!
In the early stages of dating or getting to know one another, it would be unreasonable to expect signs of deep love (and perhaps concerning if he comes on too strong).
However, if you have been getting to know each other for some time, and your relationship is progressing well, then here are some signs he may feel deep love for you:
Here’s a video from Renée on the 5 Unusual Signs He is Madly In Love With You:
If only there was some kind of recipe or formula that inspires emotional attraction from a man, making him want to settle down and choose you as his one and only…
The thing is, there kind of is!
Men do go through a specific thought process and criteria when deciding if a woman will be in his one of many basket (a woman who is just for fun and is usually given crumbs), or his one and only category (his forever woman who is given everything and more).
And you can influence which basket you fall into for almost any man by showing up as the one and only woman!
So, how does a man decide if you are the one?
In a nutshell, he decides through your behaviors. Remember, men are always responding to you and how you show up.
Most women like superficial attention, flattery and the assurance that they are attractive and so they make the silly mistake of trying to appeal to men’s sexual desires.
This will reliably put you in the ‘one of many’ category, at least for most men.
But if you want to be ‘the one’, you’ll need to be “special”, “different”, and worth your weight in gold to a man. To put it simply, you’ll need to show:
You can learn all the steps of showing up as a man’s one and only in our most popular program “Becoming His One and Only”. (The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…)
Here are 3 more examples of how a man decides if you are the one to get you on the right track:
While this is a great guide for the signs of emotional attraction from a man, at the end of the day, the best person to listen to is yourself, your gut feeling and your own judgement - because you’re the one interacting with the guy.
A man may show some (well practised) signs of emotional attraction because he has learned how to play women to his advantage, or he may show little because he has been burned before or has insecure attachment.
Look for the signs but remember to:
Over time and through developing your relationship skills and understanding of men, you will become better at discerning the signs.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article, please leave a comment below to share other signs of emotional attraction from a man!
Jerri W is a hospitality manager, hostess, writer and busy mum of 3 from Melbourne, Australia. With a keen interest in femininity, personal development and the psychology of love and relationships, Jerri is passionate about helping women to get to know themselves and enjoy better relationships.
Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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