Author: Paul R. Brian & Renée Shen
Looking for the signs he wants a serious relationship with you?
I understand. Men can be really sneaky at times. Some men will pretend they are serious, just to string you along.
On those rare occasions that you meet a guy who’s actually serious, it’s a huge relief. But it can be hard to tell if he’s the real deal or not.
Here are the top ten unusual and subtle signs that a guy wants to get more serious with you and build a solid relationship!
One of the most important signs he wants a serious relationship with you is that he makes the effort.
If a man is really invested in this relationship, he will do his best to see you and get in touch with you.
He'll call or send messages to you whenever possible, and try to make plans to see you regularly.
To have a serious relationship with someone, you need to make sure that they are making an effort and are actually interested in you.
He must make time for you and actually strive to see you, otherwise it’s not going to work long term.
This doesn’t mean that he should always be the one making the plans - you can too!
It just means that you have to feel like he’s consistently putting in the effort over time.
It is the consistency over time that helps you distinguish between a man who is just “interested” versus actually being serious about you.
Here’s a video from Renée on the topic of “Is He Serious About You Or Just “Interested?” Critical Distinction”.
One of the more unusual signs he wants a serious relationship with you is that he contacts you first.
This is often interpreted as him just being over-eager or highly physically attracted to you, but it often means more than that.
It means you’re on his mind and he cares enough to initiate contact.
If you're asking yourself, "Does he want to move things forward?" pay attention to whether you’re always sending the first message or call.
Who makes dates usually: you or him?
It’s normal for guys to struggle communicating well with you in the beginning (relationships are the domain of the feminine, so it makes sense that guys aren’t always great at deepening the connection, carrying on conversation or knowing what you would like best).
But over time, as your connection deepens, he should trust you enough and like you enough to initiate contact regularly.
A guy who's genuinely interested in you will always meet you halfway, if not more!
If this guy gives more than he gets, it's a good sign that he's looking for serious business.
The process of getting serious involves merging two previously separate lives together into one.
This means that he will meet your friends and family and you will be able to include him in your favorite activities.
So pay attention to how he acts when he's around people important to you.
Is he distant and disinterested or does he actively make an effort to get to know everyone?
He may not be a social butterfly, but if he wants something serious with you he’ll still put in an effort!
If you invited him to go along to see an exhibition of your favorite artist or take a walk along your favorite trail, does he seem interested or does it look like he's bored and counting down the seconds to go?
A man who wants serious things will be fascinated by you and the things that make you happy in your life.
If he is being challenged to get out of his comfort zone and is reacting positively, he is definitely interested in more than a roll in the hay!
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Does he open up to you?
If he tells you things about:
Then you can be sure that you mean something to him and he's letting you into his world. This is also one of the top signs an avoidant man loves you.
But the key is that he’s being vulnerable with you and starting to trust you. A lot of guys won’t just trust a woman - especially if she hasn’t passed the tests of trustworthiness.
But if he’s gradually opening up more and trusting you with more, then that reflects his seriousness about you and is one of the top unusual signs he wants a serious relationship with you.
This point may seem pretty obvious, but these days it’s actually unusual.
That’s because a lot of men prefer to play the field and hedge their bets.
In fact, situationships benefit men (they benefit men a lot more than they benefit women, because they mean low commitment whilst still having access to sex and attention).
If this guy is telling you that he'd like you two to be exclusive and you know he's not seeing anyone else, he's looking for serious stuff with you.
The only thing to keep in mind here is that you should be careful to pay attention to a person's actions versus their words.
If a guy tells you he wants to be exclusive, it may sound lovely, but you have to make sure he genuinely means it!
8 Unusual Signs He Will Eventually Commit.
This aligns with the previous sign, but one of the biggest unusual signs he wants a serious relationship with you is that he deletes his profile on dating apps.
OKCupid, Tinder, Bumble, you name it! He’s trashing those profiles.
Nowadays, dating apps connect you to thousands of people and it would be very easy for him to keep exploring the other possibilities.
But if you know he's deleted everything for real, it usually means he wants a serious relationship with you.
Most importantly, remember that it takes a lot for a guy to remove himself from all the dating apps.
Because it usually benefits men to keep having females around, in case they’re open to sex in the future.
So if he has deleted his profile on all the dating apps, that means that you may well have successfully fallen into his ‘one and only’ basket.
(Men only have two baskets in relationships: the one and only basket, or the ‘one of many’ basket. You don’t want to be in the one of many basket, because he’ll only ever put in minimal effort in the relationship, just to keep you around. Also, men can and will leave women in their one of many basket at the drop of a hat when their one and only comes along!)
Want to know the 5 secrets to make a him fall in love and BEG you to be his one and only? Renée, founder of this concept will show you how HERE.
Yes that was making future plans with you in them, not talking about future plans with you in them!
If a guy can see you in his future and he's talking about it and acting on it, he wants a serious relationship.
Think about it:
He's connecting your two lives and he's introducing you to his friends and relatives?
This definitely means that he thinks about you in a long-term context.
When you see that this guy is able to involve you in his personal life in a way that seems to want to keep you around and get closer to you, you are on track for a serious relationship!
Making future plans with you is fantastic, but remember that actions still need to match his words.
If that's the case, then you're golden.
If he’s just looking for sex or something casual, his texts and calls tend to happen when he’s horny.
They are usually focused on sex and don’t have much else that he talks about.
If he wants something serious it’s a little different.
One of the top signs he wants a serious relationship with you is that he cares about knowing your passions, interests, hobbies and how your day is going.
This is the attitude of a guy who wants something real with you, for sure.
MORE: 6 Concrete Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You.
If he really wants something serious with you, he takes care of the details.
He tells you when he needs to be away, says goodbye and greets you every day.
He also takes into account your opinion when making plans and even remembers the food you like when going to dinner or cooking for you.
If he is interested in you, he will listen carefully to what you tell him and remember what you say to him.
In addition, he will ask you to tell him more about it later.
Because when a man is serious about you it’s usually because he’s formed an emotional connection with you.
And when he’s formed an emotional connection with you, he will naturally feel more connected to you, and when a man is actually connected to a woman, he’ll care about her, not just about himself.
What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her?
Let’s face it:
These days there is so much of a gray area around dating, getting serious and defining relationships.
That’s why one of the unusual signs he wants a serious relationship with you is that he’s proud to be out with you in public and be “official.”
In my time working with women, I’ve seen so many women suffer through a guy not being willing to be seen with them in public.
It’s upsetting and arguably humiliating to be with a guy who treats you like this. Don’t let it be you!
A guy who is dead-set serious will be eager to be seen with you.
When a person wants something serious they will also put effort into where they take you on dates and care if you enjoy yourself.
Even after seeing these signs that he's really wanting something serious, you may still be left with some questions that need answering. Read on the get the answers to all the commonly asked questions on how to know if he’s serious about you
The short answer is that the faster you can build emotional attraction and emotional connection with a man, the faster he’ll know that he wants a relationship with you!
That’s because it’s these two things that make him fall in love, and the primary reason a man wants something serious is that he believes he has fallen in love.
When a man believes this has happened he will want to commit.
So, the next logical question would be how long it takes a man to fall in love?
And the answer is that it varies widely.
Generally speaking, a man will know he wants something serious or not after a few months. In some cases the process may be faster than that, or a bit longer.
Excuses to wait years before he commits are generally just that: excuses.
If there's one thing that will make him tempted to date you and stay with you, it's knowing that you're unique and special.
Show him that you are someone he will be really sad to lose. Make it clear that you are a high-value woman and you know it with your whole being.
This isn’t about bragging or telling him how great you are. It’s about demonstrating it with your every word and action.
You carry yourself with confidence, self-esteem and certainty, because you know you’re worth it and that the right man will see that.
One of the most unusual signs he wants a serious relationship with you is that he waits for you even when he doesn’t have to.
He doesn’t date around and he doesn’t play the field.
If you like him, this can be deeply endearing. If you don’t, it can be creepy.
So why would a guy wait for you?
Simple: because he has stronger feelings for you than any other woman he knows. And those stronger feelings generally come from one simple factor.
This is his estimation emotionally, physically and intellectually that you are a higher-value and more attractive woman than other women he could potentially partner up with.
It really is that simple.
In some cases you’ll eventually reach a point in your dating where you’ll feel comfortable just directly asking him.
If he says he doesn’t know or isn’t sure, don’t press it.
But remember that sometimes a “maybe” or “I’m not sure” is just a polite way of saying no.
Also, the signs above should help you know if he sees a future with you.
Here are a few of the warning signs of a player pretending to want something serious:
If he’s charming the socks off you to get you into bed but then disappears for days at a time on “business” and other excuses, he’s probably a player. Watch out for guys like this if you’re looking for something serious.
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
Yes, but the only way to change his mind is to show up as the one and only woman. You need to get out of the ‘one of many’ woman basket, and put yourself in the ‘one and only’ basket.
CLICK to find out more about how to do that here.
It’s not that common for men to change their minds about wanting something serious. Instead, it’s more common that men say they want serious to get sex and then admit eventually that they never did.
If he’s showing the signs above and truly invested in you, then you can be fairly sure he’s not just playing around with the idea.
No. In a man’s mind, love and sex are completely different things. That said, it’s possible that he can bond with you through sex only after you’ve built emotional attraction and emotional connection with him.
So build those two things first, before you jump into bed with a man (or be sure he is attached to you before jumping into bed with him!)
Generally speaking, an overexaggerated focus on sex means he doesn’t want something long-term.
That said, a very sensual and intimate man may be interested in becoming closer to you physically and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
This depends on the guy and on you. Generally speaking, if you sleep with a man very quickly he may see you as more of a temporary conquest (a ‘one of many’ woman) and not a serious long-term partner.
You’ll know when he opens up to you. Generally speaking, guys don't like to feel vulnerable, which means they don't open up to anyone.
This even includes women they are dating.
Also, sometimes guys try to stay as a closed book simply because they don't want the girl they're dating to get attached…
So, if you're wondering:
"Does he actually want something serious with me?” take a look at how much he opens up to you.
Paul R. Brian
Paul Rowan Brian is a freelance journalist, author and writer from Canada. He's written for Ideapod, Hack Spirit and Love Connection and is focused on culture, relationships and self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @paulrbrian.
Editor & Author For National Council for Research on Women. Founder & Author of the Popular Women's Relationship & Dating Advice Website, The Feminine Woman.
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