Author: Paul R. Brian & Renée shen
There comes a point in dating where you have to ask a very simple and important question: “is he falling in love with me?”
It’s vital to have a grasp of what a man’s behavior means in order to assess where the relationship is currently and where it’s going in the future.
If you have a man who is falling in love with you, he’s going to display a number of positive behaviors, even if he doesn't say "I love you" often.
However, when you’re dealing with a guy who’s faking it or cheating on you, even if he says “I love you” a lot, this article will give you the key to seeing through a fake exterior.
Actions speak louder than words when it comes to a man who is truly in love.
There’s nothing more valuable for a woman inside of a relationship than a man falling in love with her.
Because when a man is in love, he sees her as his ‘one and only’ woman.
When he’s not in love, it doesn’t matter what the woman does, he will only ever see her as a ‘one of many’ woman.
There are only two baskets, two categories in which men place women, and they are the ‘one and only’ basket, or the ‘one of many’ basket.
When a woman is in the ‘one of many’ basket, a man will always give her just enough to keep her around, nothing more.
When a woman is in the one and only basket, he will give her everything he has. He’ll give his heart, his soul, his time, effort, commitment and money.
So of course, you want a man to be in love with you, and it makes complete sense to look for the signs a man is falling in love with you. In fact, it’s smart to do so.
By the way, if you want to learn the 5 secrets to becoming any man’s one and only (and never be the one of many), check out our program “Becoming His One and Only” here.
(The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…)
So now let's look at 8 typical behaviours of a man in love which will help you answer the question “Is he falling in love with me?”
A man who is falling in love with you will value your family like his own, and have no problems with your friends.
He knows that these people are important in your life, so he also welcomes them into his life, even if he wouldn’t normally befriend them himself.
He doesn't feel uncomfortable or awkward around your friends and will gladly listen whenever you have stories to tell about a friend or family member.
Your man will not like to hurt your feelings by having tensions with other people in your life and will do his best to smooth over any personality conflicts that come up.
He will also be careful not to say anything against your loved ones that puts him in a situation where you will have to choose a side.
This is the very first of the signs a man is falling in love because it is actually a very critical difference between a man in love versus a man who is just “interested” or just keeping you around.
Whenever you see a man in love, you see a man who also loves the people that you love, or at the very least, respects them.
Why? Because falling in love makes people:
Here are 5 Unusual Signs He Is Falling Madly In Love With You from Renée:
Your success is also his success, so he is always happy and proud of what you have achieved.
If you’re asking yourself is he falling in love with me? Look at how he reacts to your wins!
Does he not only want you to win in life, but also share your joy deeply and genuinely?
Then you have a good one!
Usually, a man in love also doesn't exclude you from his own success, even if you have no direct connection to his work.
A man in love recognizes that your presence in his life adds value and he becomes very enthusiastic when you take steps that get you ahead.
He recognizes your accomplishments and is genuinely impressed and happy when you score big wins.
When it comes to knowing the signs a man is falling in love, it’s important to know that a man who’s faking it almost always reveals his false behavior sometime early on.
If you’re doing things to make the connection deeper such as:
Then you’ll naturally begin to reveal who he really is.
A man who isn’t falling in love with you will reveal his intentions. He becomes frustrated, irritated or hostile and his nice veneer cracks.
A man who is serious about you, and really means what he says won’t have this problem, even when he has bad days, because he’s sincerely on your side.
In fact, he won’t be able to help it! Such is the fate of a man in love.
Some people think vulnerability is a sign of weakness.
In the world of toxic masculinity, young people are instructed to swallow their feelings and never cry if they get hurt. They’re told by mentors, parents and authority figures that exposing their weaknesses can make them less worthy as a human.
Of course, vulnerability can go too far into victim mentality, codependency and boasting about emotional damage.
But a basic level of openness from your guy is a very good sign.
If you want to know “is he falling in love with me?” look at how much he opens up to you.
If you have a guy who's not afraid to show his innermost feelings and weaknesses to you, that's a good sign that love is in the air.
If he's not afraid to open up to you about:
This shows that he trusts you and wants to bond with you emotionally. He lets his guard down because he knows he can be real around you.
It’s the basic rule of a man in love: he wants to see his woman happy, and he may even sacrifice his own needs in order to see her happy.
He's not in this relationship to see what he can get out of it, because he’s deeply connected to you and what you are feeling on a day to day basis.
Also, he will put your needs above his because he wants to make you happy.
This is the key for answering the question: is he falling in love?
A man’s actions tell the story. And not just one or two actions, but a long history of actions that either improve the quality of your life or let you down.
He also makes sacrifices for you, and you reciprocate and make sacrifices for him.
If he is indeed in love, you’ll find that he compromises. Not because he's a doormat or a simplistic person, but because he knows you feel the same about him and that you’re an unbreakable team.
Working out whether a man is really in love or just likes your company can seem like an unsolvable puzzle, but once you peel off the glitzy surface and look at what’s really going on you’ll often find his level of commitment becomes clear.
What does this mean?
It means that a man in love will not give up on you and your relationship together. This means he’ll fight the everyday battles to stay with you like outside forces tearing you apart or even mental illnesses that may get in the way.
Also, a man who is falling in love with you will be protective of you, because he feels like he has something precious that he wants to hold onto.
Being protective comes to him instinctively and it will make you feel safe in the physical and emotional sense, not stifled or overly controlled.
But a man in love will also stand by your side and fight your life battles together with you, with the shared goal of coming out stronger together. Even through difficult times.
Is he falling in love with me? Look how he stands by your side when times get tough.
He's not just a good listener when you're pouring out your frustrations or demanding his attention.
He also pays attention and knows the little things to do that will brighten your day and put a sparkle in your eyes.
And when he gives you gifts, a lot of thought goes into them. He doesn't just pick random things in the checkout aisle on his way home from work.
All of these gestures come under the umbrella of paying attention to the things you say and do.
In fact, a man in love will make it his aim and purpose to address all of these little everyday complaints.
If you’re wondering: is he falling in love with me? See if he pays attention to how you’re feeling and your priorities.
Men tend to be less verbal than women, broadly speaking.
Understanding whether he’s falling in love with you can require some deciphering for women, because women often look more at the words when they should be focused on the actions.
Men tend to be less verbal and emotive beings compared to women. They generally use actions to show their feelings more than words.
One of the top actions that a man uses when he’s in love and fully invested in a relationship is initiating intimacy and being physically affectionate.
He will also want to do other activities together besides those in the bedroom.
He clearly enjoys all his time with you, not just the sizzling sexy moments.
Is he falling in love with me? Or is he acting like he’s falling in love with multiple women?
It’s a question worth asking, so look at whether he makes you his absolute priority over any other girl.
If he makes a point of putting you on top and makes you feel good about yourself in every way, even on the days when you feel down, that’s a good sign!
It is common for women to feel ugly at times and have "bad days”, but a man who is in love will not let you get dragged down by this.
For him, you're still the beauty queen of his life, even if you have pimples and spots on your face or have just woken up with unkempt hair.
Although he will still obviously find other beautiful women attractive, he won’t give them the time of day.
Knowing whether a man is genuinely in love with you is all about observing how he treats you when nobody else is around.
How does he treat you when he’s already on your good side?
If he’s invested in you and in love with you, he’ll go the extra mile to see you smile.
Ideally, sex is a form of intimacy that only happens between two people who are in love.
However, the number of people who are becoming more open to sexuality and just want to enjoy sex without the emotional issues tied to it continues to grow.
Many men are able to have sex without developing feelings. Women are generally less able to do this, and many find themselves developing deep feelings even following casual sex.
A man who is falling in love thinks of the object of his affection frequently. There’s a saying for how often a man thinks of the woman he is in love with, and it is the following: “it’s like someone is camping in your head”.
For a man in love, the woman he loves is the first thing he thinks of upon waking up and the last thing he thinks of before sleeping.
He may even dream of you often.
He envisions you by his side, your future together and all the aspects of your behavior and appearance which attract him.
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
Dating means something different for each man. Some use it as a way to get casual sex and company, others use dating as the means to find a partner or spouse.
It really depends on which man you are dating and what his beliefs are about romance, sex, marriage and partnership.
If a woman pushes too hard for commitment, a man is likely to run away.
But if instead a woman puts her effort and time into building emotional attraction with him, a man is more likely to connect deeply with her and attach to her emotionally, leading him to fall in love.
Men generally express their feelings differently from women.
The fact is that when in love, even if they are shy, men usually invest in the object of their affection forcefully and clearly.
A man in love:
He also dreams about a future together and craves closeness and time together with you.
In general, men prefer women with a natural and feminine body. The particular preferences of each man vary, but generally men are attracted to a woman who is well-proportioned with a classically beautiful face.
Some women are naturally thinner and others are more well-rounded or even slightly overweight. Men can be highly attracted to both or more to one or the other.
One key to being the object of a man’s dreams is to focus on your waist to hip ratio. This is because it doesn’t matter how skinny or overweight you are, you can still achieve a hip to waist ratio that is more ideal.
The ideal waist to hip ratio varies from 0.68-0.73, and this is one of the 17 attraction triggers that get a man’s blood boiling uncontrollably.
Paul R. Brian
Paul Rowan Brian is a freelance journalist, author and writer from Canada. He's written for Ideapod, Hack Spirit and Love Connection and is focused on culture, relationships and self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @paulrbrian.
Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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