Author: Paul R. Brian & Renée Shen
If your relationship has come to an end and you still love him, your pain is enormous.
I’ve been there and I don’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Now you’re spending sleepless nights wondering if he's sorry he broke up with you, but you just don’t know.
You can't wait for him to clearly show that he actually misses you and still loves you.
So, does he?
Let’s find out!
Let's get into the 12 Surefire Signs He Regrets Dumping You.
One of the top signs your ex regrets dumping you is when he finds any excuse to contact you.
In person, over texts, social media messages or calls.
You’ll notice that conversations don't have to be deep, and are more like simply a reminder that he exists and doesn’t want you to forget about him.
If your ex keeps trying to reach out, he probably still feels something meaningful for you and may have regretted the breakup.
He may also bring up memories of you or sweet nostalgic items.
"Today on the bus there was a girl in the same t-shirt as you."
This is one of the clearest signs your he regrets dumping you.
After all, a person who has broken up with you and gotten over it usually wants more distance from you, because he is focused on starting over.
If your ex takes the time to remember certain moments that were special in your relationship and events that made you both happy, it is very likely that he wants you back.
"Today I went to that beach that we always went to. It was nice, but it felt a lot different without you.
"Remember when we did that kayaking route and got lost, what an adventure huh?"
He definitely regrets dumping you if he’s writing things like this.
There's also something you can do to inspire deeper emotional attachment to you by triggering his unending desire to claim you as his NOW.
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Another of the strongest signs your ex regrets dumping you is that he often asks for your advice.
This may bring up memories of how you two interacted when you were in the relationship.
Far from distancing himself, he continues to seek you out and value your input on important decisions, challenges and life situations.
You will also be able to tell he’s clearly still counting you into his life plans.
It is likely that if he’s acting like this your ex regrets letting you go. He either didn’t want the relationship to end or has now changed his mind.
Still, it's also good to evaluate why you or he decided to end the relationship before immediately jumping back in his arms.
There’s good reasons why relationships end and someone becomes your ex.
Don’t get sucked back into an ex boyfriend purely out of loneliness or pain.
If he was toxic or bad for you, the price you pay for getting back together will always be greater than the price you pay in grief over a breakup.
The price is lowering your value over time.
Because the longer you stay with toxic people, the lower your self esteem becomes and the more you pick up their toxic habits yourself.
Equally important is the fact that staying too long with a toxic man will make you less attractive to the RIGHT men - the emotionally healthy and high value men.
If you want to attract a high value man or healthy relationship, you have to avoid showing low value traits like the plague. (Which a toxic partner will usually make you do over time!)
(Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
If you notice a slight change in your ex's personality, it might not be your imagination.
Specifically, one of the pleasant signs your ex regrets dumping you is that he becomes more courteous than usual and gives you all sorts of compliments.
There’s a good chance he’s not just being nice: he’s likely trying to win you back.
If he makes a point of noticing things like he's never done before, whether it's your hair or your clothes, he likely feels like he dropped the ball in letting you go.
It can be difficult for some men to compliment women or be very observant about them, so be aware when this happens.
Men don’t really thrive on compliments themselves - and so asking them to do it to a woman can feel foreign.
Unless of course, we’re talking about players - but players don’t typically give genuine compliments.
Perhaps in the past you have discussed things that bothered you about each other.
Maybe you’ve even specifically talked about what made you split up and decide to go your separate ways.
Well, now that you're not together, what bothered you so much in him is finally something he’s becoming conscious of.
He’s trying to improve himself and own up to past mistakes and may reach out to you to let you know that he sees now where he went wrong and really regrets it.
It’s his way of demonstrating that he’s erred and showing that he’d like to communicate with you about what went wrong and possibly reconcile.
At this point, you should evaluate how you ended the relationship and the discussions and situations that led to it.
When someone decides to terminate all kinds of contact with an ex, that doesn’t always last.
If he said goodbye forever but now he’s back, it’s one of the top signs your ex regrets dumping you.
After a while you were on his mind too much and he really just needed time by himself to recover.
Now that he’s genuinely curious to see if you’re OK it means that he’s prepared to establish a friendship with you, or, possibly, looking to see if there’s still a chance of getting back together.
However, if the decision made was to have no contact, writing to you may be a sign that friendship isn’t on his list and he just really hopes to resume the relationship.
If you notice that he is very willing to help you out in any way he can, it can be one of the biggest signs your ex regrets dumping you.
If in a conversation you explain a problem that has arisen, immediately he’s likely to display a solution or offer to lend a hand.
He’s clearly trying to show off his best side and be there for you in all the ways a boyfriend would.
At the very least it means that he wants to be on good terms, but it’s more likely to mean he regrets dumping you.
A not-so-subtle indication that your ex wants you back and misses you is when he suddenly starts spending much more time with the most important people in your life.
Basically, he suddenly becomes much closer to your friends and family. This is one of the clearest signs your ex regrets dumping you, especially if he's never been too close to them before the split.
Getting into your inner circle means he wants to find an excuse to get back into your life and bring you back into his life.
If he suddenly invites your step-brother to his football games or keeps getting in touch with one of your closest friends, he certainly misses you and is trying to get closer to make up for his mistake in dumping you.
There's no sincerity greater than a drunk man's phone call or message really early in the morning or late at night.
If he texts you when he's drunk or calls you to vent, it's because he likes you. As they say, in vino veritas.
If you wake up to see that you have notifications of messages from your drunk ex saying all his inner feelings, don’t write them off as drunken rambling right away.
These can actually be real signs he regrets dumping you.
It just took getting wasted for him to really open up.
If your ex expresses a strong desire to meet with you in person, he's basically screaming that he misses you and wants to get back in the relationship.
This demonstrates that he enjoys your company and wants to be as close to you as possible.
If you’re looking for signs your ex regrets dumping you, it doesn’t get much clearer than this.
In addition to proposing dates and meeting up, you’ll notice that if you do meet he wants to take a trip down memory lane.
One of the biggest signs your ex regrets dumping you is that he takes you out to special nostalgic places: the restaurant of your first date, the place where he asked you out, and so on…
If he’s taking a trip down memory lane, he’s probably hoping that it spurs the same special emotions in you as it does in him.
When someone struggles to get back into another person's life, you’ll notice that they are very attentive to details.
For example, when you meet, he will bring the specific type of chocolate bar you love so much.
This is a small detail that’s a sweet way of saying: "I still care" and "I still consider you special.”
This kind of attention to details is another one of the top signs your ex regrets dumping you and probably wants to get back together.
You may be wondering what to do now. It really depends on the kind of person your ex boyfriend is.
If he’s never been a loyal person, and if he’s toxic or emotionally damaged, understand that a long term relationship with him will always be costly for you.
Never, ever go back to an ex just to avoid pain or grief.
Instead, respect the grieving process and allow it to help you calibrate your emotions towards him.
It doesn’t matter how much he actually regrets dumping you, that regret is his to shoulder - not yours.
You keep doing you and let the grieving process run its course.
Once you’ve spent at least 4 weeks grieving, you’ll start to see your ex and your relationship with him more clearly.
Yes, there are a number of common things many guys also sometimes do when they regret dumping a woman.
He may, for example, send short and seemingly irrelevant messages like “hi” and not follow them up. It’s because he doesn’t know what to say, but his feelings are overflowing inside him.
Another classic sign is following you all over social media, giving many likes and watching all your posts and stories.
Case study: From icebreaker to engagement in just 8 months… Discover the exact steps Yana took and the specific banter lines she used in order to attract the man of her life online and inspired him to propose after a short 8 months. (And then married within another 2 months…)
The main way to tell the difference is if his interactions with you are focused on flirting and sex or on really asking how you are.
If he’s just trying to get naughty it’s generally very clear right away. But if he’s talking a bit more deeply it likely means more.
Paul R. Brian
Paul Rowan Brian is a freelance journalist, author and writer from Canada. He's written for Ideapod, Hack Spirit and Love Connection and is focused on culture, relationships and self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @paulrbrian.
Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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