Author: Paul R. Brian & Renée Shen
If you’re wondering: what are the chances of him coming back after no contact? The answer depends on the circumstances of your breakup, and on the individual man himself.
In general, no contact is difficult to maintain, especially when you care a lot about him.
But the reason we do no contact is because it often works.
Whether it’s a few weeks or a few months, no contact is all about wiping the slate clean and seeing what happens next.
Will the love you once had disappear forever, or will it come back and the attraction be rekindled?
The second option does happen, and no contact does sometimes work to help a guy realize that he loves you and wants you back.
But sometimes it also makes him realize that he’s done with you and wants to move on…
So here’s the question you’re probably asking yourself: Will no contact make him miss me and want to come back?
Here’s how to tell…
Table of Contents
First up, a guy who still wants to be with you is not going to take no contact well.
Whatever the reason you initiated no contact, he’s going to try to break it.
This means calls, texts, social media messages and trying to get through to you by bumping into you in public by “mistake” as well.
He may try various ways to stay in touch with you, but the bottom line is that he doesn’t want to break off contact.
Through one way or another, he’s hoping to speak to you again and wondering whether the period that you’re not in touch with him is going to last forever.
It’s all a ploy for him to talk to you again and try to get back together with you.
He’s far from indifferent.
To make a long story short, it means he has realized he still has feelings for you and going through no contact has crystallized that knowledge for him.
Does he still follow you on social media? Yep, that can be a sign he will come back.
He’s watching your Instagram stories and Whatsapp status updates.
He’s clearly still got some interest in what you’re up to during this no contact period.
Even if it’s only sporadic and he’s not watching everything you post, he’s clearly at least paying some attention to what you’re up to and what you choose to share with your followers and contacts.
If he was not going to come back he’d get on with his life and stop scrolling his feed and looking at what you’re posting.
Now I’m not saying this sign is a guarantee, because it’s not.
He could technically just be looking at your social media because people often maintain a basic level of curiosity about their exes.
But it can also be a pretty solid indication that he’s headed back in your direction.
This is a big clue and often points to his desire to reinitiate contact, even if he’s not doing so straightforwardly as in point one.
For more on his mindset during no contact, see: No Contact Rule Male Psychology: 8 Stages & 5 Shocking Thoughts He Has.
Next up in the signs he wants to come back into your life is that he’s nostalgic on social media.
If you still follow him and notice he’s posting old photos of the two of you or music, memories and quotes that relate to you, then it’s definitely a sign that he hasn’t moved on in his heart.
Sometimes he may post things which are a bit more obscure or refer to you indirectly, such as content about being sad or about finding your way in life.
If you think it applies to you and it seems to really be related then you’re most likely right.
At the end of the day, you’re either on his mind sometimes or you’re not.
If he’s posting things that hint at regret then he may well want you back.
If you’ve blocked him or he’s blocked you during this no contact then obviously this wouldn’t be something you know about.
But if his posts are still accessible to you, then you should be able to get insights into whether you’re still on his mind or not.
Would you like to know one thing you can say to him that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say? CLICK here to Learn the ONE thing you can say to him now.
Next up in the top signs he will he come back after no contact is that he tries to figure out if you’re dating someone new.
His method of doing this may vary, but you may hear through the grapevine that he’s been asking if you’re still single.
He’s out there wondering who you’re sleeping with and who you’re interested in or dating…
That’s no small thing, and it definitely means that no contact has him wondering if you’re interested in someone new.
This interest in your relationship status is definitely more than idle curiosity.
It’s him trying to find out whether he’s wasting his time on still being interested in you.
Simple as that.
If he shows any signs that he regrets the way things ended, or that he regrets choosing no contact, then that’s a good sign he will come back.
Regret is an emotion that makes us try not to make the same mistake again. In this context, it can also inspire a guy to make him realize what he lost.
But it’s no definite sign he will come back. He could just be a good guy and have enough sensitivity to apologize to you, regardless of whether you get back together or not.
But it’s also a possible sign that he will come back.
If he talks about, or even makes the effort to try to include you in future plans, that can be a positive sign showing that he will come back.
He might suggest things like going to events with common friends or taking you on small trips with him.
He may also verbally daydream about the things he wants to do with you.
These may sound nice and be a good ego boost to you, but before you assume he will come back, just be sure that it’s not all just talk.
Intelligent men know that women love sweet talk. But you can’t fall for his words.
Instead you have to be smarter than him and see through his game (if you know he has a way of making women fall for him through words).
The best way to test if he is for real or not is to interject with some spontaneous and playful questions.
Because spontaneity cuts through any pre-imagine BS that he might be trying to play you with.
So get good at spontaneous banter and utilize these 8 high value, spontaneous questions (to know his intentions).
Has he gone no contact on you as well? Then this is one of the signs he will not come back after no contact.
There is no peep from him, no social media posts and no sign of life.
He is completely out of touch with your friends and family and places where the two of you go are no longer places you see him around.
He’s clearly doing his best to escape you everywhere he goes and he has no interest in seeing you.
If he’s not only accepting your no contact but also not talking to you as well, then it means that he’s interested in moving on.
That’s that. The chances he’ll be back are very low.
If he’s indifferent to you online it’s another of the signs that he’s not going to be coming back to you.
The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.
This is one of the most painful realities in life and it hurts a lot to face it when you’ve cared a lot about someone and they no longer care about you.
But it happens.
If you’re in no contact and wondering whether he’ll be back, indifference is the death knell.
It means he’s really over you and doesn’t want to be back together.
If he’s angry at you it can mean he’s reacting and still has feelings for you, but if he basically has no reaction at all then he’s moving on and you’re only a part of his past.
If you’re asking yourself “will he come back after no contact?” - him blocking you is a sign that he will not.
Blocking can come in two main forms, however:
It can happen when somebody is very annoyed or hurt and wants to teach you a lesson (about how easily they can remove you from their lives…)
Or it can happen as a conscious and sober decision to cut you out of their lives and truly no longer speak to you again…
If it’s the second option, then the chances he’ll be back are very slim.
He’s moved on and cut you out of his life and that’s that.
After a few months if the block is still there, the chances of him being back are remote, although you can never say never.
He may “zombie” you and be back a year or two later…
After he realizes that other girls don’t want him and he uses you as a fallback option.
Will he come back after no contact?
Look at his current dating situation.
Is he dating someone new and falling in love again?
If his friends and family tell you he’s getting serious then this is a pretty good indicator he’s not going to be coming back into your life.
Unless of course he is dating his rebound girl. True rebound relationships don’t have the best chance of working out long-term.
If he’s just having fun going out with various women then it doesn’t mean much and can just be him trying to distract himself from the sadness he feels.
But if he’s with someone new and it’s getting serious then he’s leaving you behind and moving on to someone new.
It’s something you have to respect, because if you’ve chosen to do no contact then he has ample opportunity to move on in his life and find someone new.
On that note, did you know that there’s one specific emotional trigger within every man on earth that makes him want to take care of you and ONLY you for life?
Another sign that he likely won’t be back is that he goes into a self-destructive spiral.
He’s using drugs, drinking heavily, acting recklessly in public or ending up causing controversy all over town.
This kind of behavior is the type of reaction of someone who won’t be back and who, in some cases, you wouldn’t want back in any case.
Breakups and no contact hurt a lot.
But a guy who reacts by going berserk is sometimes a guy who has a lot to learn about self-control and self-discipline.
If this is going on while you’re away, then it’s a sign that he isn’t ready to come back into your life.
Instead, he is on a self-destructive path or a self-pity trend that he has to work out himself first.
Case study: From icebreaker to engagement in just 8 months… Discover the exact steps Yana took and the specific banter lines she used in order to attract the man of her life online and inspired him to propose after a short 8 months. (And then married within another 2 months…)
As you wonder whether he will come back, remember to always focus on what’s in your control.
A guy coming back is not under your control, but building your own value as a woman is within your control.
So that’s the best thing for you to do: build your value and become a high value woman.
How do you do that?
Build healthy esteem within yourself, have a healthy lifestyle and learn to banter with men.
Bantering will help you to build emotional attraction with any man you wish. Here’s an article on how to banter with men to build attraction.
Remember to grieve the loss first, that’s the most important thing. You can read this article on How To Get Over A Guy Who Doesn’t Like You Back? 7 Painless Ways.
Remember to also eat well, sleep well, exercise and work hard on the things that mean the most to you.
Engage in the friendships and social connections which are meaningful to you.
Take up hobbies that you find empowering and that make you energized and happy.
Never stake your happiness on someone else, even somebody you love.
If he’s the right guy for you then he’s going to come back of his own free will.
If he doesn’t, then you can find someone better and become a better person in the meantime. Believe that.
No, he will not.
If a guy has lost feelings for you and is not in love with you, then essentially he doesn’t perceive enough value in you, or in having a relationship with you.
Just going no contact and making yourself scarce or unavailable is not enough to make him come back for the right reasons.
At best, he’ll come back for more attention or sex.
A man has to perceive enough value in you in order to fall deeply in love and commit deeply to you.
You cannot make him come back, but you can inspire him to come back.
The only way to inspire him is to become an intrinsically high value woman whom men want to commit to.
Once you build this value, not only will he be much more likely to come back, other men will want to take his place.
The one thing you MUST avoid if you want to inspire him to come back is showing any of the common signs of low value in a woman.
What are signs of low value?
They are subtle or obvious indicators that you have low mate value.
This isn’t personal, but rather, they are a set of signals that tell all men (yes, even the deadbeats) that you are of low mate value and not a good choice for a long term commitment.
There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
(Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
It depends on the nature of your breakup.
If you betrayed him it will take a while for him to come back, if at all.
If he betrayed you or he broke up with you and is remorseful, then he may be back sooner that you expect.
If he’s just taking a break, anything goes. It could be weeks or even many months.
If he was genuinely never into you enough to stick around, then he’ll likely never come back.
It’s a good idea to work out how commitment oriented a guy is before you get too involved with him for too long.
We have a quiz that can help you work out how commitment friendly a guy is: QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!
Many times a guy will send mixed signals about whether or not he wants to be with you during no contact.
There are various reasons for this.
Firstly, he may have wounded pride and feel angry about you cutting him off, even if just temporarily.
Secondly, he may be unsure about how he feels for you and how deep his feelings go.
Thirdly, he may have deep romantic feelings for you but want to use this opportunity to sleep around with other women before coming back to you.
No contact can continue anywhere from a few weeks to a few months or more. I don’t recommend keeping it up for more than six months, since by then it’s a breakup by any other name.
No contact should basically continue for as long as you feel you are still in love with this guy but want to see how some issues reset or resolve during time apart.
No contact gives you the opportunity to see how problems between you work themselves out and gives the guy (and you) time to decide whether you really want to be together.
If he comes back, is that a good thing?
If you love this guy or still have feelings for him then you’re likely to be pretty happy about that, obviously.
But I’d caution you to make sure he’s not just coming back because you’re a fallback option or a safe port after he’s gone on a six week sex cruise around various dive bars.
Does he really want you or are you just still available? Make sure it’s the first option!
Paul R. Brian
Paul Rowan Brian is a freelance journalist, author and writer from Canada. He's written for Ideapod, Hack Spirit and Love Connection and is focused on culture, relationships and self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @paulrbrian.
Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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