11 Glaring Reasons He Keeps You Around (Even If He Doesn't Want A Relationship)

Author: Matija Pinko

He still texts you, likes your Instagram posts, and he doesn't seem to mind when you show up at his house unannounced - but somehow you guys are still not official. 

You just have to ask the question: why does he keep me around if he doesn't want a relationship?

The best thing to do moving forward is to arm yourself with the correct knowledge so that you can make the best decision for yourself.

There are several reasons why men will date women even if they don't want a relationship with them. In this article, we'll go over 11 glaring examples of why he keeps you around (even if he doesn't want a relationship).

#1: He Likes Sleeping With You

Let's be honest, guys like sex. When he says he doesn't want a relationship but still calls you when he's turned on, he likes your skills in bed.

Unlike women, men don't have such a complex emotional connection during sex. It's more about the physical part and the fun they have during the act than the emotional component.

So next time you ask yourself why does he keep me around if he doesn't want a relationship, consider that he may just enjoy the sex you guys have together. 

As The Feminine Woman says,

“​​It benefits him to keep you around because for men, women are a resource.” and… 
“Once you have gotten a woman to open up and have sex with you, then this woman can give you a steady supply of sex for as long as you are willing to keep her around in your life.”

So the truth is he likes sleeping with you girl, and even though you wish he would commit to something more, you can still be proud of the fact that he finds you very sexually appealing.

#2:  You Don’t Demand More, So He Sees You As His ‘Safe Zone’

A lot of the time, men keep women around even if they don't want a relationship because the woman makes him feel comfortable there.

Most likely, he's dated girls who've done nothing but complain about why he needs to be more committed to them and why he is not allowed to see other people.

If your guy has had the experience of being controlled by a woman like that in the past, he's going to want you around even if he doesn't want a relationship. 


because in his mind, he knows where you two stand (and doesn’t have to worry about putting in more work).

You're not giving him a hard time about why he needs to be with you and why he can't see anyone else, so he sees you as a safe zone for being himself.

This freedom to be himself also appeals to guys who feel insecure about not being ‘enough’ for a woman, and this is one of the biggest reasons why men keep women around even if they don't want a relationship. 

It's just easier for them in that sense because they know where they stand, and there are no games.

#3: You're One Of His ‘Options’

Men tend to have multiple options before going into a relationship. 

Whether it be friends with benefits or dating two different girls simultaneously, men usually weigh a lot of options before making any decision.

If you're one of his options and he doesn't seem to mind having you around, then the chances are that that's why you find yourself still in his life. 

It seems like he’s put you into the friend zone for now, but he still texts you, hangs out with you and doesn't seem to have a problem with your presence.

If this is the case, it's time to step up your game because other guys will appreciate you more than he does. 

How would you step up your game? 

Easy! Stop waiting around for him to make up his mind and either make him jealous enough to want to step up his game, or find a better match for yourself.

Don't ask yourself why does he keep me around if he doesn't want a relationship, but rather, make him want to be in a relationship with you.

How can you do that? You can do it by learning the one specific emotional trigger that inspires a man to commit emotionally to you.

CLICK Here to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You. 

#4:  You're One Of His Habits

Similar to being one of his options, if you're one of his habits, he will keep you around. Men are creatures of habit, and once they find something that works for them, they'll stick with it.

If you've been dating this guy for a while, and he doesn't seem to want anything more than what you guys have now, it's possibly because you're one of his habits - and you’re a comfortable option. 

He knows that he can text you when he wants to have a good time and see you when he's bored, or just generally has no other plans.

You fit nicely into the routine and habits he has already formed in his life, and that's why he keeps you around. If you think this is the case for you, then it might be time to find someone who wants more from you and isn't afraid to show it.

You see, it’s really easy for a guy to keep a woman around. All a guy has to do is invest the bare minimum and some women will put up with it.

Unfortunately, though it’s easy for men, you don’t want to be this type of woman. It will slowly erode your values and boundaries, making you seem lower value for the right guy. The good guy who will truly cherish you and give you the world.

CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.) 

#5: He Sees Other People

This is probably the most apparent answer to the question 'why does he keep me around if he doesn't want a relationship?'

If he's seeing other people, then it means that he still has an interest in you but just doesn't want to commit.

If this is the case, it's time to have a talk with him and figure out what's going on. 

You deserve to know why he's keeping you around if he doesn't want anything more from you, and such a serious conversation might be the push that you need in order to move on to better things in your life.

Related: When To Walk Away From A Relationship? 7 Glaring Signs To Look For

#6:  He Doesn't Know What He Wants

Sometimes guys just don't know what they want (in fact, most guys have no idea what they truly want until it shows up in front of them). 

And that's one reason why it’s so easy for him to just keep you around. 

In fact, he will just keep you around until the ‘one and only’ woman shows up in his life.

He might not be ready to date again after a breakup or is out of touch with his feelings in general, which means that he doesn't see the harm in keeping you around even if he doesn't want a relationship.

And if he’s out of touch with his own feelings, chances are he has no idea what you’re feeling!

If this is happening to you, it's best to step back and re-evaluate why exactly it is that he is keeping you around. 

Whether it be for sex or just because he doesn't know what else to do with his free time, there are guys out there who will see you as the ‘one and only’ instead of just taking advantage of your presence.

As Renée Wade teaches, it is only when a man meets his one and only woman that he drops all other options for her. 

Yep, just like that.

You can learn the difference between being a man’s one and only woman and his ‘one of many’ woman in this game changing course ‘Becoming His One And Only’.

(The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…)

#7: He Has Been Hurt Before

If your guy has been hurt before, then the irony is that he may want you around even if he doesn't want a relationship with you. 

Maybe you are a rebound girl to help shield him from the pain of a bad breakup.

He'll see you as someone who can make him feel better and remind him of what it's like to be in good company without all the heartache and expectations.

If you feel that this is the case for you, know that it will take some time for him to open up again. He'll be guarded and might not want to do anything more than just text or hang out with you.

If you have it in you to be patient, then give him the time he needs and be there for him when he's ready. 

Eventually, either he'll see that you're worth taking a chance on and will want something more from you - or it will be clear to you that he’s too damaged from his past relationship to be in a relationship with you.

QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!

Recommended: Is He Serious About You Or Just Interested? Critical Distinction.

#8: He Doesn't Want To Hurt You

When you ask yourself why does he keeps me around if he doesn't want a relationship, ask yourself if he cares about your feelings. If he does, then there's a good chance that he doesn't want to hurt you.

He probably already knows that you're looking for a relationship, and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying he's not interested in anything more. 

He might be thinking about something serious with you in the future, but it isn't appropriate to tell you that he only wants sex for now - so he doesn’t say anything.

Also note that if he says he doesn’t want to hurt you directly, this means he cares about your feelings and doesn’t see you as a passing thing in his life, but as a person he wants to have constantly near (not just sexually).

It's possible that he is just really busy with work or school and doesn't have the time to date. 

He could also be scared because things got ugly in his last relationship, so he's decided not to pursue any relationships at this time. If he's not ready for a relationship right now, it's important to respect his decision.

If you're really interested in him, you can wait for him to come around. 

But if you get impatient or start dating other guys, he might lose interest altogether. The best thing to do is give him some space and let him come to you when he's ready.

Just keep listening and talking with him if that happens. Let him know how much his friendship means to you, but let him know where the line is so he can respect that too.

#9: He Doesn't Think It's A Serious Relationship

Sometimes guys just don't see things as serious or exclusive when they first start out. 

This is another big reason why he keeps you around even if he doesn't want a relationship. 

He might not be ready for something more and knows that you're okay with it, so why bother trying to find someone else?

But, if that's the case and you're okay with it too, then there's no harm in continuing to spend time together. 

Just make sure that you don't get your hopes up or confuse his intentions with yours, because remember, you’re a woman. He’s a man. 

You guys are going to have different relationship timelines. So let him know where you stand and what you expect from him, so things don't get messy down the line.

If he really likes spending time with you and doesn't want to lose that connection, he'll come around and start seeing things more seriously. 

Until then, ask yourself if you’re ok with just enjoying each other's company! Because if you are, then what’s the rush?

#10: He Doesn't Want Anyone Else To Have You

Sometimes guys don't want anyone else to have you. Men tend to be jealous even if they don't want to have something serious with you.

He might not want to admit it, but he's probably a little bit possessive of you and what you have to offer him. 

That might feel nice to you, but is him being “a little” possessive of you worth more to you than his full commitment?

Chances are, probably not. He’s just keeping you around for what you can offer him, because if he lost it, he would be alone.

#11: He Doesn't Think A Relationship Is Worth The Effort

Finally, the answer to why does he keep me around if he doesn't want a relationship could simply be because his main focus is somewhere else, yet he knows that keeping you around will ensure that he gets the company and sex that he needs.

He may be a workaholic (one of the types of guys who stay single) or just a commitment phobic man, but whatever the reason, it's important that you don't put all your eggs in one basket and continue to date other people as well. 

This will help keep your expectations realistic and ensure that you're not just waiting around for someone who may never come around.

This isn't to say that you should forget about him if he doesn't want a relationship with you – far from it. 

You can still stay in touch as friends - strictly as friends. If he does come around, at least you'll be in a much better position than if you'd completely given up on him. 

Just make sure that your other relationships are strong enough to tide you over until then.

So Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn't Want Me? 

There are many reasons why this could be happening. But in the best case scenario, he still cares, and in the worse case scenario, he’s keeping you around because he still gets something from you - for himself. 

He might not be ready for something more or just doesn't see you as someone worth dating but knows that you're a great person and doesn't want to see you hurt.

There are also cases where the guy is stringing you along because he gets some sort of benefit from having you around. 

Maybe he enjoys the attention or feels like he has control over you since you're still hung up on him. 

No matter what the reason, it's not fair to keep someone hanging on when you have no intention of making things official - wouldn’t you agree?

In many cases, it’s selfish and inconsiderate.

If you're in this situation, it's time to have a serious conversation with him and find out where things stand. 

If he can't give you a clear answer or continues to string you along, then you should ask yourself if he's the right match for you. 

Honestly, life is too short to waste time on someone who doesn't want the same thing as you do.

If you want to move on, then it's time to start setting boundaries and let him know that you're not okay with this kind of treatment. 

Just say ‘no!’ You’ll be a higher value woman for it!

Don't ever be afraid to stand up for yourself and let him know that you're not going to put up with this anymore.

You deserve better.

Matija Pinko

Here at the National Council for Research on Women, we strive to promote positive self esteem and healthy interpersonal relationships for all females. It is our goal to give women the knowledge and empowerment to make better choices in their lives.

Matija Pinko

Author For National Council for Research on Women

Renée Shen

Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.

P.S. I hope you've enjoyed this article. Here are some other articles that I think you'd really like too...

10 Secret Signs He Is Fighting His Feelings For You

8 Concrete Signs He Doesn't Want A Relationship With You

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