Author: Martha Dugeri
Relationships are a very important part of life. As a matter of fact, it’s the foundation upon which everything else is built.
Which means that relationships are beautiful when we’re in them with the right people, and they are destructive when we are in them with the wrong people.
All the effort of building a healthy relationship is worth it when we are with a healthy partner, because we feel at peace and secure in their arms. We’re happy to put in the work because our efforts are reciprocated.
Naturally, certain things shouldn’t be tolerated in relationships not only because they’re hurtful but also because we deserve better.
Unfortunately it’s not always easy to identify toxicity ourselves, as we’re usually too blinded by emotions to see the glaring signs that tell us when to leave a damaging relationship.
This article will provide you with 7 glaring signs that tell you when to walk away from a relationship.
Just one of these signs is enough reason to leave a relationship no matter how much history you have with the person.
These signs are glaring because you don’t only see them with your eyes and feel them through your emotions, they also affect your mind.
These signs are capable of landing you in the chair of a therapist because they take a toll on your mental health. So the best thing to do when you see any of these signs is to walk away like you were banished from the relationship and never look back.
It’s unfortunate that abuse has become a norm in so many relationships.
It has become something people endure and hope will go away when in reality, it is a glaring sign that signifies when to walk away from a relationship.
Verbal abuse is just as serious as physical abuse. Abuse is abuse and it shouldn’t be endured. We don’t only say no to abuse by raising placards and sharing “say no to abuse” e-fliers on social media.
We can also say no to abuse by saying goodbye to abusive relationships. It takes a lot to walk away from an abusive relationship because abuse eats at your self esteem until you begin to believe that maybe it’s your fault that you get abused.
You begin to believe that you deserve the abuse. Then you begin to spew out strings of justifications when someone points out your guy's abnormal behaviour.
You begin to think that the abusive relationship is the best you can do and say things like:
“At least he doesn’t hit me on the face” and
“At least he doesn’t comment on my weight”
Even though he intentionally puts you down with his words. A despite the fact that he pushes you without caring how or where you land.
Even though your heart now pounds when you two have a fight because you don’t know where the blow will land.
It doesn’t matter if it’s words that pierce your soul, or injuries that you’d have to hide beneath your clothes and make up, nobody should be in an abusive relationship.
CLICK here to discover how Alison ended her cycle of abusive relationships by learning to quickly weed out the "wrong types of men", inspiring deep devotion from her chosen man and passing the hardest test of them all - an accidental pregnancy after a month of dating!
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Another sign that shows you when to walk away from a relationship is lack of trust. When the relationship just started you could trust him with your life.
You never doubted his words until your trust in him got lost somewhere in between his numerous lies and your doubts.
Now, you don’t even know him anymore. You ask yourself questions like:
Does he love me?
Is he cheating on me?
If the hundred percent trust isn’t there anymore, it’s time to walk away from the relationship (sorry. Party’s over).
If you struggle to believe him and have to second guess everything he says then you should take this is as a glaring sign to walk away from the relationship.
Walk away and never look back because a relationship without trust is as good as dead.
Cheating is not only glaring, it’s also one of the most common signs that tells you when to walk away from a relationship.
Sadly, it’s also one of the most ignored signs. So you found out that he didn’t only cheat on you, but he also lied about who he cheated with when you asked about her.
You confront him about it and he says that it was a mistake and he’s terribly sorry.
He swears that it’ll never rep eat itself but it does repeat itself. Not once, not twice, and not even thrice.
It’s become so bad that it’s now a routine. He cheats, apologises and swears it won’t happen again.
Sometimes he makes the apology in the form of an elaborate romantic gesture.
But unfortunately, it doesn’t make you soften up like it used to before you realised he was public property (but somehow you forgive him anyway).
You hope it doesn’t happen again but you know it will, and indeed it does.
Don’t be deceived or try to deceive yourself. It’s not enough to hope that he’d change someday.
Walk away from the relationship because he won’t stop cheating and that sickening feeling in your stomach won’t go away.
By the way, there are 7 common signs a woman is low value in the eyes of men. Do you know what these 7 signs are? (And how to avoid them like the plague?)
CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
This is one of the most terrible things to experience in a relationship. Therefore, it’s a sure sign that tells you when to walk away from a relationship.
You know the relationship is absolute rubbish, and that you should use the door when he constantly body shames you (because why else would you be insecure in the very relationship that should be your safe space?)
He pressures you to change how you look. He compares you to other women and comments on your appetite and eating habits.
I really don’t understand why you’d choose to stay in a relationship with someone who can not see how banging your body is and love you for it.
Walk away from the relationship - but make sure not to block him on social media, so he can be reminded of the jewel he lost every time he comes across your pictures.
You’re in a relationship where your man makes you feel like you’re a burden to him.
You constantly have to beg and write emotional application letters to beg for his love and attention.
This is another glaring sign that tells you when to walk away from a relationship.
I don’t think a relationship where you don’t feel loved should even be called a relationship in the first place.
It’s not really a relationship, it’s a wreck - and you should walk away from it. Walk away from it and save yourself the stress of dealing with the hurt that stems from situations like these. Pack your bags sis.
Your relationship is basically a clash of titans because you two hardly see eye to eye on anything.
He wants a pet. You hate pets.
You want a low cut. He loves long hair, and somehow he feels like his opinion on what you should do with your hair is the most important.
He’s not ready to listen and neither are you so the space you two share is a warzone. You fight everywhere. During dates, with friends, when visiting the family and don’t even get me started on how bad it gets when you are at each other’s houses.
It’s also very hilarious that the problem isn’t actually your contrasting opinions but disrespect and immaturity.
You should walk away from a relationship like this because two babies don’t make an adult.
Walk away to work on yourself so you can be a better person for you. Walk away so you can handle relationships more maturely for yourself. Walk away to keep your peace of mind - or do you enjoy fighting everyday?
You know the relationship is toxic when no one wants to interfere in your business anymore.
They’ve given you all the advice they can muster, and now they’re short of both advice and the energy to convince you to leave the relationship.
It has become obvious that you and your partner are like two wounded animals that come together to lick each other's wounds, but you bite each other while doing it.
How do you know when it’s become too toxic?
Someway somehow, you’ve both normalised dysfunction whilst believing that you two are unique and unlike other couples.
You don’t really need each other. You need to leave each other alone and you can take the first step by walking away.
Walking away is almost never easy. It’s harder to walk away from bad relationships because there’s a kind of cloud that hangs over you; a cloud of pessimism and negativity that is full of what ifs and maybes.
What if I don’t find someone else? Maybe he’ll change.
The goal is not just to be in a relationship. The goal is to be in a healthy relationship (the keyword here is healthy).
You need to understand that you’re worth so much more and you deserve so much more.
It may feel like your whole world is coming to an end as you try to walk away from the relationship and indeed it is, the world of the toxic relationship must come to an end so the world of healthy relationships can open up to you.
There’s someone out there that’d love you in ways you never thought possible. He’d respect and love you for you. He’d honour your body and give you an unlimited subscription to his love and trust.
This is the man you need. Not the one that makes you cry and fear for your life!
But how will you find this good man if you don’t walk away from the wreck you call a relationship?
Remember that you deserve better. Walk away from bad and go for better.
Martha Dugeri is a medical student, part-time freelance data analyst and Creative Writer. She is currently studying to be a doctor at the University of Uyo, Nigeria.
Writer For National Council Of Research For Women.
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