What do men in their 50s want in a woman?
It’s a lot different than what the typical man in his mid-20s wants in a woman.
Let’s take a look…
Table of Contents
Let’s get right to the bottom of it:
What do men in their 50s want in a woman?
The first big thing they want is maturity.
They want a woman who knows herself and the world and has a fairly firm sense of what she’s looking for in life and in love.
The age of the woman will come second to an older man’s perception of the woman’s level of maturity in general and how they’re able to relate to her and connect with her.
They want maturity they can depend on but also be impressed by.
This means that they want a woman who is clear in her goals, takes care of her body and mind, and respects her partner in love.
By their 50s, most men have been through at least a few long relationships. They’re tired of disappointment, games and heartbreak.
They want a woman who’s clear-eyed and secure in herself.
They want her to be physically attractive, of course, but this is often secondary to judging how mature she is and how she comports herself.
Key components of maturity in a woman include the following:
These signs of maturity and much more are certainly on the radar of a more mature guy when he’s out meeting women and deciding if any interest him for something more serious.
One thing you want to avoid doing if you want to ensure you have the best chance of emotionally and physically attracting a man in his 50s, is exhibiting any of the 7 common signs a woman is low value in the eyes of men.
Do You Know What These 7 Common Signs are and How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
(Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
The next key trait in terms of what guys in their 50s are looking for in a woman is class.
They want a woman who has a unique and attractive personal style, who has refined manners and who has discerning taste.
As long as he’s not a boring man who is closed-minded or has never been outside his own suburb, he wants a cultured woman who knows something about the world and has seen her share of different cultures and experiences.
Not every man in his 50s needs a cosmopolitan girlfriend or wife. Some do of course, with the actor Leonardo Dicaprio being one example.
But generally, men in their 50s want a woman who has at least had her share of deep experiences and insights about the world.
They want a woman who is deep and refined in certain ways that attract them and keep their attention.
Examples of classiness include:
There’s no doubt that men in their 50s are more watchful about these kinds of aspects than some younger men.
Younger men can be more forgiving of drama, as they haven’t had as many relationships as older men.
In general, younger men haven’t had to fork out a tonne of resources on dating the wrong woman - yet.
This is not to say that every man will encounter a woman who is low quality who tries to ruin his life, but at the same time, many older men have.
And they don’t want the drama anymore. Time is not on their side and they’ve see it all before.
While classiness can be partly a subjective opinion and can vary by context, if a man gets the general sense that a woman cares for the finer things and respects herself, that is very attractive for a mature man.
They want a woman who they can really enjoy being around, a woman who deeply respects herself and others.
The next answer in terms of what do men in their 50s want in a woman is that they want a woman with a high sense of responsibility.
There are far too many women and men of all ages who are looking for a relationship without having to put in any of the work.
They want all the good times, but none of the bad.
They want the fun vacations and Instagram captions, but they don’t want the boring days and the days when everyone is exhausted and out of it.
That’s why men in their 50s are looking for a woman who’s responsible and not just a fair weather partner.
They’ve already had their fair share of that, and they also have a keen eye to spot gold diggers and women who just want to coast off their money or stability.
They’re not interested in that, and if they are then it’s sure to be a transactional and empty relationship based purely on his loneliness and her need for funding.
That’s not exactly romance if you ask me.
Instead, a mature man wants a woman who is in it for the long haul and willing and glad to take her share of responsibility in riding out the ups and downs of a real relationship.
They do not want a woman who’s going to always complain and offer no appreciation of him, either.
No 50-something year old man wants a woman to boss them around or nag, meanwhile taking no responsibility for her part in the relationship.
But they do want a woman with standards, a woman who won’t just let everything slide or take whatever she gets.
They want to know that they are ending up with a woman who’s truly high-quality and dependable.
They want to know that this woman objectively makes a much better lover and partner than many other women around her.
And a huge part of that is judging and appreciating a woman’s sense of personal responsibility and dependability.
Here are signs you have high personal responsibility and will fit the idea of what men in their 50s want in a woman:
What do men in their 50s want in a woman?
I won’t mince words:
They want a woman who is dripping sex appeal with every word, gesture and sidelong glance.
Of course this sounds like you have to act perfectly all the time, but that’s not the case.
That’s not just the stuff of Harlequin romances, and I can say that as someone who’s met women that stop you in their tracks, not for outward physical reasons necessarily, but due to their feminine energy and subtle sensuality.
This feminine sensuality exists within you when you are deeply in touch with your feminine energy.
A mature guy who actually wants something real, is looking for physical attraction that goes beyond the surface level.
He’s been with the “hot” women who get everyone’s attention and seem to be in demand.
But he knows that the truly firecracker babes are the ones with inner sensuality and a burning dark and light feminine energy inside, not just with tight jeans or a revealing tank top.
He wants that inner fire…
But they don’t want that sensuality to be gauche or in-your-face the way some younger guys might respond to and chase after.
More mature men who are worth their salt appreciate sensuality that’s a bit more understated and psychological.
They like the kind of feminine woman who snakes her nails lightly on his arm when she says goodbye, or who rests her eyes just a second longer than necessary on him while talking.
They want these subtle signs of connection that occur and are so much more powerful than just body parts or having sex.
What else defines the kinds of sensuality a man in his 50s wants in a lady?
This type of thing isn’t just in romance novels. It’s real life. Mature men tend to fall in love with truly feminine women who turn them on mentally and viscerally, not just visually and physically.
Younger men tend to get sucked in by surface femininity. This means that the women that attract younger men don’t have to be fully in touch with their feminine - they can just look pretty on the outside and get by.
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What is emotional intelligence?
According to Kendra Cherry at Very Well Mind, it is:
“The ability to perceive, interpret, demonstrate, control, evaluate, and use emotions to communicate with and relate to others effectively and constructively.”
In a nutshell, men in their 50s want a woman who are able to connect with their own emotions as well as others, and use them to navigate the relationship in a calibrated way.
Basically this means that men in their 50s aren’t interested in being manipulated or controlled by a woman who has no self awareness of what she’s feeling herself.
(And instead is constantly trying to doge her feelings and make him pay for her own impulses and lack of awareness.)
Men in their 50s are looking for a woman who knows herself and is ready to bring a high level of self-awareness and love to a relationship.
They are done with the mind games, jealousy, cheating and disappointment that other relationships may have brought in the past.
They’re ready for something real that goes beyond mere physical attraction.
They want to fall in love with a woman’s mind as well as her body. They want to fall in love with her heart and her way of seeing the world and seeing herself.
They want a woman who is sensual and sexy but who is also loyal and knows herself and what drives her.
The more mature man isn’t just falling in love with a pretty face, he’s falling in love with a story, the story of the woman he falls for.
He needs to become part of that story, to care about that story and to see how it ties into his life.
In other words, he will love your authenticity.
It’s your authenticity and confidence in expressing it that creates your story.
This story makes you unique and inspires him to fall in love with your soul, not your body.
He needs to be guided and encouraged by a woman who knows her own heart and her emotions, and is able to express them so that he can use these emotions to successfully navigate in the relationship.
…This is also how he will be able to make you happy and easily feel successful with you: through your authentic emotions.
This means that the mature man wants a woman of high emotional intelligence who knows that just because she experiences uncomfortable emotions, doesn’t mean she has to lash out, and be impulsive or reactive.
Emotional intelligence includes a lot of crucial abilities that come out in a relationship, including things like:
Understanding her own triggers and traumatic responses
Grasping how her behavior affects and impacts those around her
Having a clear awareness of the emotions and moods of her partner and those around her
Being able to process and work with emotions and painful situations to use them for something beneficial, or manage hard times without taking it out on those around her.
Let’s be clear:
This kind of emotional intelligence is valuable in a woman of any age.
But it’s definitely especially highly valued by a man of a bit older age who’s already had enough of less self-aware partners in the past.
What do men in their 50s want in a woman?
A woman who is ok with emotions in herself and in others.
That’s worth much more than its weight in gold!
Every man is different.
Generally speaking, a younger man is more attracted by appearance and his initial physical desire upon meeting a woman.
What’s even more important is that younger men tend not to be as self-aware. This means they may be less selective in picking a mate or in who they sleep with and date.
The result is that a younger man may be overall less picky and date more women, whereas men by their 50s tend to be much pickier and also have a somewhat more toned down libido.
Men in their 50s want to be truly attracted to their woman and into the relationship, but they aren’t usually hormonally on fire to the same extent as a younger guy is in his 20s or 30s.
Also, older men often have more clarity in what they’re looking for, even when compared to a typical man in his 40s.
The result is that younger men care more about appearance and initial attraction, whereas men in their 50s are usually looking more for what’s underneath.
Disclaimer: this does not mean that younger men don’t look for what’s underneath.
It just means that in general, younger men are more swayed by looks as they haven’t got the same skills in discerning a woman’s character as older men do.
By their 50s, men tend to be focused more on what’s under the surface. They know, and have experienced, that it doesn’t last.
That said, men in their 50s do still care about physical attraction and sex appeal.
It is simply that they have become more discerning and won’t fall as easily for good skin or nice curves.
They’re more likely to fall for a woman who really knows her sexuality and what she likes in bed, for example, than a more conventionally “hot” woman who doesn’t have much intimate experience or self-knowledge.
Yes, of course.
When you and I think of older men, it’s not unusual for us to assume that men in their 50s or 60s prefer to end up with younger women.
And there’s a good reason for that: it’s because men in their default state prefer younger women for their childbearing capabilities and youth.
But that’s just their default state. And this state is statistically born out in most countries.
Still, this doesn’t take into account what men fall in love with.
And here is a video from D.Shen About the Two Traits In Women That Men Routinely Fall In Love With...
We can see, for example, situations like the actor Leo DiCaprio, who only dates women quite a lot younger than him.
DiCaprio, 48, is of course a famous actor and widely considered very handsome, but this trend of older men preferring younger women is certainly accurate.
While a lot does depend on culture and context, it’s a biological and evolutionary trend that more mature men tend to have an easier time slipping into the provider role for a young woman.
Nonetheless, a man in his 50s can certainly fall for a woman older than him and love doesn’t just “expire” at a certain age.
Paul R. Brian
Author For National Council for Research on Women
Paul Rowan Brian is a freelance journalist, author and writer from Canada. He's written for Ideapod, Hack Spirit and Love Connection and is focused on culture, relationships and self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @paulrbrian.
Editor & Author For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating and relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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