Author: Martha Dugeri & Renée Shen
For the longest time, men have been raised to believe that it’s their responsibility to protect and care for women.
Alas, in a world where women have taken up these responsibilities for themselves, men have begun to feel “not-needed” and this has led to a significant increase in the number of single men.
There’s also the fact that a lot of men are exhibiting habits that make them unable to keep a woman long term.
Naturally every man is unique and there are different kinds of men in this world, but most of the types of guys who stay single tend to fall within a particular category.
We all make choices in life - consciously or unconsciously - and these choices make us show up as more attractive and valuable to the opposite sex, or less attractive and valuable to the opposite sex.
In other words, a man’s ability to keep a woman is dependent on the kind of man he shows up to be.
In this article, we explore 10 types of guys who stay single and why nobody wants them.
What exactly is it about these guys that makes women leave them for someone else? There’s only one way to find out - keep reading.
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One of the most common types of guys who stay single is the married guy who lies about being single and continues to string other women along.
Nobody wants a guy like this because he gives Pinocchio a run for his money by telling bare-faced and so-not intelligent lies.
Apart from them being dumped like a hot potato by the other women on the side, his wife will eventually realise that he’s a waste of marital vows.
This is because he acts in direct contradiction to everything they vowed to do for each other on their wedding day (maybe he was being ironic with his vows,) so she joins the club of other women who don’t want him.
The man child is popular amongst the types of guys who stay single. This type of guy is the new age Peter Pan.
His physical growth is absolutely normal - even amazing with his whole biceps and beard game, but his mental growth is stunted.
These guys have no sense of responsibility in life, and nor do they even care about taking on more responsibilities. As far as he is concerned, the less adult responsibility he takes on, the better.
He does everything a child does - he throws tantrums and refuses everything an adult should embrace like getting mature furniture and throwing out his childhood toys.
I think why nobody wants the man child is quite obvious - he’s just not relevant in the adult world of grown up relationships. No woman wants him because HE doesn't need women - he needs to grow up.
I mean, which woman would willingly choose to babysit a grown man that’s unwilling to give her anything but stress and a headache.
Sure, there’s the afterthought that maybe the man child would grow up very quickly when the right woman shows up in front of him.
But if a man doesn’t already have a strong sense of responsibility before he meets the right woman, he will always be behind in his adult skills.
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Because they are the two things that inspire deeper commitment and love from men.
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We can’t talk about types of guys who stay single without talking about the rigidly traditional guy who is basically a dinosaur.
This guy is the kind of guy a woman in the 1800s would have been glad to have, but a modern woman would think is too much, because he has so many rigid rules around gender roles and marriage.
This guy embodies the role of protector and provider that society has assigned to him to a fault. Simply put, he is uptight and a little too focused on controlling his woman.
Nobody wants him because the women who get into a relationship with him quickly discover that he makes them feel like little pets.
Specifically, he treats his woman like she’d be lost without him and therefore should be fully owned by him.
He likes to keep constant surveillance on his woman, and acts like she should be shielded and be handed gifts for exhibiting good behaviour.
The truth is that this guy may have good intent, but in the process of trying to be a man, he forgets to be human and to see his women as equal humans.
There are players and there are serial players. This guy is a serial player for a reason: because he’s developed a reliable method of seduction in order to game women for his own pleasure.
When you first meet him, you might even be taken by him - he’s funny and amazing.
He’s so beautiful, you think he is Adonis incarnate. This minute you’re laughing at his jokes at the party, the next minute you’re laughing in his kitchen, wearing his shirt and making him breakfast.
He’s charming. He’s intelligent and most importantly he’s interested in you (and about seven other girls).
No moment with this guy is a dull moment. He’s been with enough women to understand how women think more than the average man.
So he knows exactly what to say and when to say it as well as what to do and when to do it.
He easily ticks everything on your list - until you see him for who he is and swiftly dump him and his heinous lies.
Nobody wants this guy long-term, because unfaithfulness is second nature to him and lying is his hobby.
His lies are always hot (because they’re straight from the pit of hell) and they’re so convincing that you feel stupid for doubting him.
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This guy is angry with the world. He feels like the world is unfair and has been particularly unfair to him.
He sees the imbalances in the world, assumes the odds are stacked against him and takes it upon himself to balance it out.
(Even when it’s completely uncalled for).
But in this guy’s book, love isn’t what makes the world go round, anger is and that’s exactly what he spreads around.
What are the signs a guy is bitter and resentful?
This guy is so touchy, grumpy and bitter. Everyone leaves him when they get tired of being punished by him for the sins of other people.
Nobody wants him because he’s selfish, unaware and he’s everything that a decent human shouldn’t be.
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If you’re unfamiliar with the term ‘MGTOW’, it stands for “Men Going Their Own Way’”.
This guy is downright misogynistic and anti-feminist. Not only does he think women asking for equal rights is silly and insulting to men, he thinks that women don’t deserve half of the things they get.
(Not even the bare minimum they’re fighting to get from society).
Nobody wants this guy because he lacks emotional and practical generosity. Also, to put it bluntly, he doesn’t actually want anybody else - he’s not all that interested in a long term relationship with a woman, and like most MGTOW guys, he exhibits all the signals of low value to women.
In the absence of celibacy, the best the MGTOW guy can do is flings.
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This is another one of the most common types of guys who stay single. This guy is the one his female friends rant to when they have guy issues. He’s the reliable friend and the chief rescuer of all damsels in distress.
He’s always morally superior to all the other guys, and is therefore more ‘deserving’ of attractive women - only, none of these attractive women actually want him.
The nice guy is always ready to do anything to make sure the females around him are doing fine, but they leave him at the drop of a hat to date other guys.
Nobody wants him because of his reluctance to make the first move, and because his round-the-clock availability and extreme willingness to please is a turn off.
The problem is not exactly his niceness. The problem is his motive. (Yes, nice guys have an underlying agenda, too).
Women don’t appreciate men who lurk in the shadows instead of coming clean with their intentions and this happens to be Mr Nice guy’s forté.
Here are some signs he is a “nice guy”:
This guy may have the best intent - but he only cares about work.
He’s also succeeded in making people believe that he doesn’t care about sex because of how deeply immersed he is in his work.
But we know he’s this way because he is scared.
Also, maybe his ex did him dirty and he decided to marry his work, because he figured that his work will never wake up one day and tell him that it loves someone else.
Nobody wants this guy because in theory it’s good to work hard and make money, but in practice his priorities are upside down.
Namely, his family and his friends have become his ‘work’ and everyone else (including his biological parents and whoever is unlucky enough to be in a relationship with him) comes last.
Here’s why it’s easy to feel bad for the workaholic though: it’s because we know deep down inside that he’s either an avoidant type, or he’s been very hurt in the past.
Yet he doesn’t make any attempt to deal with the hurt he’s suppressed, so that he can move on and become a better man. He’s not interested in change. He’s fine with his work and occasional whiskey.
Take away the money this guy spends stupendously, and he has nothing else to offer.
Not affection, not intimacy and most definitely not love. He’s Mr emotionally unavailable.
As far as he’s concerned, money is a medication that cures all illnesses. Nobody wants this guy, because nobody wants a guy to throw money at them when they need a hug or a shoulder to cry on.
Sadly, this type of guy has conditioned his mind to believe that his money is a factor that contributes greatly to his superiority.
Hence, his spendings and gifts are nice on the surface, but beneath the surface the gesture is laced with ego and a condescending energy that makes you think twice before receiving them.
Unfortunately for this guy, the people who have their wits about them generally ask him to eat his money and walk away (slamming the door as they go).
This guy thinks fairies will take care of all of his problems. He assumes that other people have the wherewithal to take care of him, while he lies back and lives in fantasy land.
He’s the irresponsible guy that isn’t even capable of taking care of himself, let alone you or a family of his own.
He is out of touch with real life, and instead of making tangible plans or taking solid action, all he does to “help” himself is daydream and wish.
Nobody wants this guy because there’s really nothing to want.
Yes, he’s affectionate and caring but he’s so unmotivated and nonchalant. It’s almost like he’s unaware of how the real world works.
See, he’s fine living off the people around him. He’s not ashamed to give “I’m trying to figure out what I want to do” as an excuse to get a loan from whoever is stupid enough to offer him a loan.
He’s one of the types of guys who stay single because he’s just existing in a bubble of denial.
He thinks he’s perfect as he is, but everyone else finds his excuses disgusting and annoying (after the thrill of his wonderful affection wears off).
You may be wondering:
“Are these guys beyond help?” and
"Are they too far gone?”
Almost all of them are NOT beyond help. Everyone can change, given the right environment and influences.
However, there are always people in the world who are too far gone - either their ego or fear of intimacy renders them unable to ever be of value in a relationship, or they are so emotionally broken that they’ll forever be alone.
It’s important to understand that these classifications do not completely define a man. They are merely categories or “types” that help us understand the types of guys who stay single.
Sometimes the difference between a man fitting into one of these types or not is a simple change in mindset or habit.
For example, the fairy-minded guy will no longer fit into this category if he steps up to take responsibility for his life. The “dinosaur” or rigidly traditional man won’t remain unwanted if he understands that the world is changing and becomes more open minded.
The married man with a bag of hot lies will be a better man if he wakes up and drops his bag of lies, replacing them with a nice bag of humility.
The serial player will be appreciated for being the great man he is if he decides to see his unfaithfulness for what it really is and tackle it head on.
The man child only needs to hold himself accountable, and find a deep emotional motivation to grow up to be a highly sought after man.
The workaholic needs to be honest with himself, acknowledge his past traumas and become more aware of his feelings.
The “money solves everything” guy needs to understand that as much as money is important, being a decent human is even more important.
Basically, every guy listed above just needs to see that they can do better within themselves, and as soon as they hold themselves to a higher standard, the women they attract will also be of higher standard.
Finally, all humans (not just men) should understand that they can do better and actually hold themselves to a higher standard first, because what’s the point of living if we can’t make ourselves proud first?
There’s a charming and desirable quality about every single human - we just have to be sure that the desirable quality is not buried beneath an intoxicatingly undesirable one.
Martha Dugeri is a medical student, part-time freelance data analyst and Creative Writer. She is currently studying to be a doctor at the University of Uyo, Nigeria.
Writer For National Council Of Research For Women.
Editor & Writer For National Council Of Research For Women. Founder of the popular women's dating and relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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