8 Classic Twin Flame Stages & Which Stage Are You In?

Author: Oscar Stevenson & Renée Shen

When you meet your twin flame, you just know. The universe opens up and life, love and everything else begins to conspire in your favor.

You begin to witness the intense acceptance of who you are through meeting your other half. 

But twin flames don't have to be identical in every respect.

They complete each other in the necessary areas, yet sometimes clash because of being a mirror for the other. 

Your twin flame sees you for who you really are. They recognize your heart and soul deeply, and there is an intense merging that occurs between you. 

This merging with your twin flame will be unlike anything else you’ve ever experienced, and the process tends to go through similar twin flame stages. 

Let’s look at these exact stages right now.

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Stage #1: The Myth Of the “Right Person” Becomes Real

Since childhood, we have been taught that there is a person we’ll meet one day who will be “the one” and make us happy.

Then you go on to suffer chaotic, unreliable, and challenging relationships in your life.

These challenges, sometimes toxic, start to make you believe the classic love stories you've heard are fictitious. 

It’s easy to start to lose hope in the whole idea that there’s one right person, the ‘one and only’ out there for you. 

The moment you find your twin flame, these negative beliefs disappear.

You begin to understand and accept that "the right person" has been looking for you just as intensely as you have sought him or her. 

You may not believe this is real. But give it a try. 

And if you do, you may find a love that you believed didn't exist.

Stage #2: You Recognize The Reason For Your Existence

When you begin to accept that this person has gone through similar experiences, it becomes clear that you had to get to this point in your life to find this type of relationship.

Here’s the thing:

Twin flames come into our lives at the precise moment when we’re ready. They often meet us when we need to learn something profound about ourselves.

Often, this twin flame doesn’t come into our lives at the most convenient time. In fact, they often come into your life when you are in another serious relationship.

When you meet your twin flame for the first time, you could be married, engaged or single for a long time. 

Then this person shows up with the incredible wisdom you need to hear in order to move forward, and they don’t only connect with you physically, they connect with you in a deep spiritual way.

Number two of the twin flame stages shows you your life purpose. Somehow, this beautiful person gives you the exact path that you need to take in order to feel fulfilled.

They open your heart and mind to a whole new chapter of your life that you never thought was possible.

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Stage #3: You Fall In Love, Even With the ‘Bad’ Parts

There's a difference between loving someone and actually falling in love with them.

Sure, we love our parents, our friends, family and other lovers from the past.

Yet when you meet your twin flame, these forms of love you knew previously cannot measure up to the intensity and passion you feel this time around. 

You don't have to force love, or try hard to create meaning. 

In fact, you find yourself falling in love with all parts of your new lover. Not just the parts of them that are exciting - but even the parts that would normally make you want to pull away or question how ‘right’ this person is for you.

For the first time in your life, you’re surprisingly ok with your lover’s needy parts or the weird parts.

And for the first time ever, your heart knows something your mind can't intellectually explain or rationalize. 

Falling in love is the easiest thing in the world. And you don’t even think about it, you just know it’s true. 

MORE: Is He Falling In Love With Me? 8 Definite Signs He Is.

When it comes to twin flame stages, this is the phase of pure ecstasy, because you allow the heart to do what gives it the most power in the world: love unconditionally.

Stage #4: You Get To See All Aspects Of Yourself

The next of the important twin flame stages is that you get to see all aspects of yourself. 

Once the initial passion begins to stabilize and the daily routine takes over, you begin to witness the many aspects of yourself mirrored in your twin flame. 

Twin flames don’t only have the same magical and wonderful dispositions as we do, they also mirror the dark parts of our souls.

It is in this space that we must learn to heal, forgive and participate in accepting all aspects of our being. 

It is always easy to live in the light of goodness, pleasure and fun, but we are made in duality: darkness vs. light, good against evil, and everything in between. 

In these moments we have to be mature enough to understand that there is always soul work to be done in our human experience.

So what dark parts might your twin flame inspire you to accept at this stage?

Perhaps you’ll begin to see amazing and useful parts of your personality that you previously thought were too dark to show the world.

Parts such as:

  • The emo parts
  • The hurt or angry parts
  • The devilish parts
  • The dark feminine and light feminine (as they connect deeply with your partner’s dark and light masculine)
  • The parts of you that play with desire

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Stage #5: The Intensity Becomes Almost Overwhelming

Stage 5 of the twin flame stages is where you and your twin flame are tested so much that it becomes all consuming.

The depth and scale of this love affair is sometimes too much for someone to bear.

The act of seeing someone’s soul (which is a mirror of yours) so deeply means that your shadow parts meet their shadow parts.

This can sometimes throw people off. Your similarities to this person start to block you from continuing. 

You recognize parts of yourself that you're not necessarily willing to look at, and you sometimes see aspects of your partner that scare you. 

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The early stages of twin flame relationships are often very exhilarating and even magical but simultaneously frustrating and maddening.

But as much as you feel frustrated, your mind, body and soul are still on fire due to the deep attraction and love you feel.

You can’t connect so deeply with someone yet just let them go, so this can result in a cycle of excitement leading to inevitable frustration and apprehensiveness, followed by surrender to the deep connection once again.

As you both go through this cycle, you keep chasing each other in circles and start to wonder if it’s ever going to result in anything long term. 

You may wonder: can I stay with this person long term if I keep meeting parts of myself that I am so resistant to looking at?

Stage #6: You Surrender To The Power Of The Connection

The chase eventually becomes tiresome, which is when we reach the sixth of the twin flame stages. 

At this stage you know that this connection isn’t something you can afford to toss away. 

You and your twin flame are willing to embark on this experiment of cosmic challenges.

You recognize that there is work to be done. But because of your similarities and everything you’ve already overcome together, you believe that together you can achieve a happy ending.

After you surrender your ego, you begin to feel overwhelmed by love, and the fear dissolves. 

That's when you begin to understand the soul contract that was created many lives ago with this twin flame. 

This is the stage at which both of you can find peace in the union.

Attachment style quiz

Stage #7: You Challenge Each Other Constantly 

 Twin flames have the ability to vastly improve each other and grow spiritual, mentally and physically.

But it isn’t always easy.

Your twin will encourage you with an incomparable love that pushes you forward in huge ways. 

He or she won't stop you from following your purpose and you may even spend time apart as you live your own lives, but eventually you will reconnect. 

Stage seven of the twin flame stages is important, because it’s here that you work out the tension between living your own lives while still being together in a powerful union.

Stage #8: You Become One

As your fears fade and your desire to run away from what’s difficult lessens, you start the process of merging together as one.

Now you enter stage eight of the twin flame stages: you and your twin flame become a locus of love, empathy, and compassion. Twin flames recognize each other's vibration and frequency.

And, this is contagious to everyone around you. 

It is in the process of letting go of your fears that the heart recognizes why you need the other. You're here to make a difference in each other’s lives - and in other people’s lives.

Finding your twin flame is something very special, and as you go through the twin flame stages you will have a rollercoaster of emotions.

But always remember that it’s worth it and it’s meant to be. 

Twin flames are the reason why we believe in fairy tales.

    Which Stage Are You In?

    I hope that after reading this article it becomes easier for you to identify which of the twin flame stages you are in.

    If you’ve found your twin flame and are in the eighth stage, please know that the main feature of this phase is the manifestation of unconditional love.

    At this point the twin flames discover that they were in an energy cycle that ended with them becoming fully whole. 

    The harmony generated by your gathered energies increases the flow of energy between both of you, and you may also feel butterflies in the stomach, shortness of breath, tingling and extreme alertness.

    It seems that suddenly you feel overwhelmed with so much energy and a desire to meet your goals individually and alongside this new twin flame. 

    Your spiritual awareness will also increase as you rise to a higher level of consciousness along with your twin flame. 

    When you’re with your twin flame, the whole world seems to disappear.

    Things that seemed important before no longer seem to matter. 

    Being with your twin flame is as if you're looking at your own destiny, and getting a glimpse of the purpose of your existence on earth.

    This is a sensation that blocks out everything else that is unnecessary.

    Be grateful and happy to be able to explore the various paths of life alongside your twin flame.

    Frequently Asked Questions On Twin Flame Stages

    What’s the difference between a twin flame and a soulmate?

    The main difference between a twin flame and a soul mate is that a soulmate is always a blissful and loving connection, whereas meeting a twin flame can be a confronting experience. 

    Specifically, it’s an experience that pushes you to remove the walls you put up to block connection and love - for yourself and for others. 

    In addition, you may meet various soulmates in your life, but you will only ever meet one twin flame. 

    What happens if your twin flame doesn’t feel the same as you?

    In some cases, your twin flame doesn’t feel the same as you. 

    Unfortunately, your twin flame sometimes reflects back to you the same unworthiness you feel deep inside, mirroring your fear of rejection and abandonment. 

    When this happens, it’s incredibly painful. It’s like being rejected by your own soul. 

    The only solution to it is to let the experience make you stronger. Let the pain cause you to embrace a deep compassion for the world until your twin flame comes back around one day in the future. 


    Oscar Stevenson
    Renee Shen

    Oscar Is a freelance writer living in Sydney, Australia. He Is a father of one and a former magazine editor. He loves hiking and kitesurfing in his free time.

    Oscar Stevenson

    Editor & Author For National Council for Research on Women. Founder & Author of the Popular Women's Relationship & Dating Advice Website, The Feminine Woman.

    Renée Shen


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