NCRW
Author: Paul R. Brian
Most of us seek pleasure in some way, men included.
It’s no secret that men enjoy a woman’s feminine body.
Everything from her smell, the way she laughs, the way she walks, and the way she is in bed, it can be intoxicating for a man.
It’s instinctual and natural for men to enjoy your body and feminine energy, but unfortunately for some men it also becomes an addiction.
They approach dating and relationships as an all-you-can-eat buffet, breaking hearts and ruining lives along the way.
They chase sex and pleasure and become a professional user of women, showering them with fake praise and love bombing just to get between their legs.
Here’s how to find out whether you’re with a guy who cares about you or a guy who just wants you for your assets.
Does this guy like you for real or is he just angling for some nookie?
Here’s how to find out.
One of the top signs he only wants you for your body is that he eyes you up lustfully.
This should seem obvious but it’s often hidden and much more subtle.
For example, the stereotype is that if a man keeps looking at your breasts it’s obvious he’s a horndog.
In fact, a real lustful guy will often specifically avoid looking at your breasts or ass, because he’s trying to act like he’s not just into sex.
Nonetheless, when you look away or catch him in an unguarded moment, you’ll notice that he’s looking at you a bit like a juicy steak he wants to bite into.
So much for hiding his intentions, right?
Most men can’t completely hide their lust for a woman even if they try.
Look away and then back unexpectedly and see if you don’t catch him with a glimmer in his eyes.
If you see it you’ll know.
Another of the signs you must look out for is that he tries to steer the convo to sex.
A skilled player will do this in ways you might not even notice, however, which is why being aware of this is key.
Unless he has no game, he’s not likely to just come out and say “gosh, I really need to get laid, what do you think?”
It’s far more likely to be something subtler and classier, maybe a comment about how he’s always found Italian food “sensuous” after taking you out…
…Or a compliment on your “figure” and asking how often you work out, while saying that you must get a lot of compliments from men and have a very busy “schedule.”
I assume you can take the hint...
He’s trying to direct you into sexual topics or things related to your personal life and sexual history.
Maybe he’ll even make sly references to his own history of being a real bedroom boss, hoping to pique your interest about what kind of pleasure he can give you.
If you find it difficult to know what to say to guys who always seem to take the conversation towards sex, here’s what you can do.
You can put him on the back foot and expose his game using what we call the dark feminine art of high value banter.
We have free examples you can use in our free class on high value banter.
High value banter will make you look high value and slow down any sexual advances whilst building emotional attraction with the right guy.
CLICK here to discover why you as a woman need to use the dark art of “High Value Banter” in order to quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the "BEST of MEN"!
(...Even if no man has ever given you any love and all you've encountered so far are pen pals, ghosts, booty calls, and incredible duds!)
Don’t know what the dark feminine art of “High Value Banter” is? CLICK to find out.
One of the signs a guy is only in it for the physical side of things is that he touches your body whenever possible.
But in subtle ways:
Light brushes of the arm, a short caress on the cheek, a nuzzle, a kiss of your neck, a hand lightly grazing your ass as he walks by.
He touches you in whatever way he thinks he can get away with, and can’t seem to stop doing it.
Touching can be the start of something romantic as well, and there’s nothing inherently shallow about it, but if he’s touching all the time in a certain suggestive and sexual way then it means he wants sex.
If that’s what you want too, great.
If not, be cautious, because it’s easy to misinterpret a guy’s loving gestures as deeper than they are and think he’s really in love with you when really he just wants to sleep with you.
This is a classic sign that he’s only trying to get you alone and behind closed doors so he can let out his inner animal of lust.
Unless that’s what you want to, you’d best proceed with some caution, and figure out how seriou he actually could be about you.
Many women who end up getting dicked down by a devilish Don Juan don’t start out by planning for it to happen.
But he gets into their head and starts turning them on in sneaky ways.
One of those ways is through sexual jokes. These open up sexual subjects and make light of them, also leading to women opening up about their experiences and what turns them on.
He’s lapping this stuff up and filing it in his pile of tricks to use in short order to get you to bed.
Sexual jokes aren’t inherently bad or offensive.
But just keep in mind they can be a very direct gateway drug to finding yourself legs up in a guy’s bedroom.
Another of the hidden signs he only wants you for your body is that he flirts in a physical way.
In addition to the kind of touches I mentioned earlier, this also means his facial expressions and body language.
He may make an effort to be around you, wiggle his hips suggestively, let his touches linger or raise his eyebrows, smile, wink and nod sexually at you in various ways.
There’s a reason that players and fuckboys have reputations for using certain silly expressions and lines: because some of them really do give exaggerated winks and so on.
If he’s doing this then he’s not focused on buying you a ring, he’s focused on buying you a one-way ticket to pound town.
If you kind of like the guy and don’t want to go to pound town just yet, I have two specific words you can say to him.
These two words will make you look high value, stop him in his tracks and make him work much harder for you!
What are you looking for?
It’s a question we’ve all heard many times if we’re single.
But for a guy who’s only looking for sex and wants you for your body, it’s a question he’s likely to be very vague about.
A rare few may be directly honest and say something like “casual” or “nothing, really, just sex.”
But the majority of guys who are just interested in your body are going to pretend they don’t know and beat around the bush, leading you on for sex.
As the saying goes: many women fake sex for love, while many guys fake love for sex.
Sad, but true! (Sometimes…I’m not a full cynic yet).
As a woman you need to observe a man’s reaction to sex and to times without sex.
If you notice he starts to become subtly bored after sex is off the table and that he only perks up around the offer of sex, he’s likely mainly into you for your body.
If this is the case, you’re better off at least knowing where you stand so you can decide if you want to be in a relationship that, at least for him, is mainly about the physical.
Because if it’s about more than that for you, you’re unlikely to have the same depth of feeling reciprocated on his part.
By the way, you can expect a guy who is only in it for your body to want to keep you around for a while.
But here’s a warning:
Just because he stays in your life for a while, doesn’t mean he’s truly serious about you.
One of the sure signs that a man isn’t in this for the long term is that he disparages relationships and intimacy.
While he may be vague about what he’s looking for or insist it’s not just sexual, he seems mighty dissatisfied with society’s “norms” about relationship.
(Commitment phobe, anyone?)
He may even enjoy telling you his negative views of monogamy or whatever other subject that certain types of guys use as defense lawyers for their dick.
Sure, he likes to sleep around, but it’s just because monogamy is so “oppressive” and “bourgeois,” you know?
Sorry, but if you’re buying that I have an oceanfront property to sell you in Arizona.
One of the disturbing signs he only wants you for your body is that he pressures you into sex.
This is not always literal or very obvious and can often be more passive aggressive than that, which is why I consider it a hidden sign.
For example, he may switch to being in a good or bad mood based on whether you have sex with him that day or week.
He may also try his best to seduce you and then act offended if you don’t react strongly enough.
Even if you’re just not in the mood or dealing with something else, he may pretend to take it personally in order to get you undressed and under him.
When a guy does this, you really have to be vigilant: it’s nice to be desired for your assets, but it’s not worth much.
It’s worth much more to have men fall in love with you and see you as their one and only woman.
If a man is not in love with you, then he will put you in the 'one of many’ basket, not the one and only basket.
When you’re in the one of many basket, you might get a lot of attention (that can be addictive and hard to let go of by the way), but you will not get his devoted commitment.
We have a program that shows you just how to embody the 5 feminine secrets that make a man fall in love and BEG you to be his one and only woman.
CLICK Here to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…
Does he rarely ever contact you unless he just “happens” to be horny?
Of course guys like to claim they’re always horny, and perhaps there’s some truth to that I will admit.
But when you respect a woman or want something more serious with her you don’t always bring the interaction around to sex.
If this is happening it’s usually a sign that he’s less into you and more into the physical intimacy and sexual pleasure he gets from you.
If he only wants your body, there’s no end to the underhanded kind of tactics he might use when he doesn’t get it.
Playing the victim is a classic.
This is where you not wanting to sleep with him, or at least not right now, makes him a victim.
He’s so misunderstood and deprived and lonely. You don’t respect his needs. You’re neglecting him.
Why should he even care about you or your issues when you clearly don’t care about him?
Fast forward a week when you’re about to have sex and all his complaints seem forgotten.
Rest assured: the guy is using you for sex.
There’s nothing wrong with a guy complimenting you, but if he almost constantly talks about your body, then something’s off.
Your boobs look so good today. Have you been working out more than usual lately?
Your skin is so smooth, and that new diet you’re doing is badass.
I’m sure you get it by now.
He’s appealing to your pride and flattering you in order to butter you up and unwrap you.
Not that guys can never give a pure compliment that’s not about getting laid.
But they usually don’t go overboard in the way I demonstrated above unless they think that going overboard is going to lead to a night of slamming a headboard.
Just saying the facts…
If he intentionally tries to keep the relationship shallow, then you can be reasonably sure that he just wants you for your body.
This could involve not communicating much, shying away from non-sexual time together, avoiding talk of the future and similar behaviors.
He’s telling you in one way or another that he’s not into you.
Yet he still texts or calls you up.
Why?
He only wants a sweaty sheet session.
QUIZ TIME: Anxious, avoidant or secure attachment patterns? Which one do I have? CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz! (Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
The sad truth is that some men appear to be in love but they really are just in lust, and they know it.
Why do they do it?
Three main reasons:
Nonetheless, one thing is crucial here: if you relate to more than 7 of the signs I’ve discussed, then this guy has likely placed you in his ‘one of many’ basket.
Remember above we briefly discussed that men have two baskets they place women in?
There’s the ‘one of many’ basket, and then there’s the ‘one and only’ basket.
Here’s the real kicker:
How men treat the women in these two baskets is like night and day.
This means that if you have been placed in the one of many basket, he’s only ever going to want sex.
So:
There’s only a slim chance that you can correct it and get yourself placed in the ‘one and only’ basket.
You can definitely try, as it’s not impossible.
But for the future, remember this:
Never let a guy place you in the “one of many” basket.
Instead, always make sure that you embody these 5 high value feminine traits from the start so that he falls madly in love with you, and forms a deep, unbreakable pair bond with you.
Paul R. Brian
Paul Rowan Brian is a freelance journalist, author and writer from Canada. He's written for Ideapod, Hack Spirit and Love Connection and is focused on culture, relationships and self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @paulrbrian.
Renée Shen
Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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