Sleeping with someone is an intimate act, thus it's natural for both parties to have mixed feelings about it afterwards.
This is especially true when it was a friends with benefits situation or a casual sex encounter.
Studies report that women are a little bit more likely to regret casual sex than men, though men definitely do experience regret after the act in certain contexts.
It can sometimes be difficult to know for certain if a guy regrets the decision.
Here’s the good news though: he will subconsciously give off some signs he regrets sleeping with you - you just need to observe carefully.
In this article, we'll explore the 10 definite signs that he regrets sleeping with you and what they might mean.
Table of Contents
One of the most telling signs he regrets sleeping with you is a lack of communication or effort to see you.
If he's not reaching out to you as much as he used to or is making excuses not to hang out, it's a sign that he's not as invested in the relationship (or in pursuing you) as he once was.
This can be especially concerning if you were previously in regular contact and now it's hard to get a hold of him.
As a woman you’d want to at least receive a text from the guy after sleeping with him, but sometimes that doesn’t happen.
You may want to badger him and ask him what gives? However, the danger is that if you do it out of resentment, fear or desperation, you will just lower your value.
If you want to contact him at all, there is only one phrase I recommend you say to him that will keep your high value whilst capturing his attention and curiosity:
Another sign that he regrets sleeping with you is if he's avoiding physical contact or intimacy.
This could mean that he's not initiating physical touch or is avoiding being alone with you.
It could also mean that he's not interested in having sex anymore. If this is the case, it's a sign that he's not feeling the same level of attraction or connection as before.
If your relationship with this guy started with sex and there wasn’t any emotional attraction in the equation, then chances are it will be hard to bring him closer to you from now on.
If you think you already had some emotional attraction with him but he’s just pulling away, there’s a chance you can rekindle the feelings of emotional attraction.
To ignite emotional attraction with any man, I recommend using the feminine art of high value banter.
Playful banter allows you to create conversation momentum and romantic tension in a man. We have a free class on high value banter that you can take.
Another sign that he regrets sleeping with you is if he's making excuses not to see you.
This could be anything from saying he's too busy to hang out to coming up with reasons not to go out on dates.
If he's not making time for you or is cancelling plans at the last minute, it's a sign that he's not as invested in the relationship as he once was.
When a guy acts too nice to you after having sex with you, it is not always because he truly likes you, instead it could be that he’s trying to assuage his inner guilt and remorse.
He likely knows he did the wrong thing (or at least feels that way), and so he it trying to make up for his actions.
He cannot take his actions back, but he can try to feel better about it (and also try to stop you feeling too hurt or angry in the process as well).
Another of the signs he regrets sleeping with you is if he's not introducing you to his friends or family.
If he's not making an effort to include you in his social circle, it's a sign that he's not willing to let you into his life nor let you attach to him in any way.
If you were in a relationship with him before, then this is a sign that he is not as committed to the relationship as he once was.
This could also mean that he's not sure how you fit into his life or that he doesn't see a future with you.
Another sign that he regrets sleeping with you is if he's saying bad things or expressing disgust about the sexual encounter.
As Renée Wade writes:
“If he feels guilty or even disgusted by the sex you had together, he may betray his inner guilt by speaking negatively about what you guys did.”
This could mean that he's not satisfied with the sex or that he's not as attracted to you as he once was.
However, it’s not always about you. Remember, it could be about him and his own internal values.
It could be the idea of the sexual encounter that actually disgusts him, sue to his upbringing.
For example, it has been said before that those raised in a family that denounces casual sex are more likely to regret casual sex encounters.
If he's constantly comparing you to his ex or is talking about regrets he has around sex with you, it's a sign that he's regrets it, or perhaps that he is not as invested in the relationship as he once was.
Why would a guy do this if he regrets the sex?
Because it’s a way of pushing you away and making you detach from him.
He doesn’t want the responsibility of dealing with your feelings, so he is finding ways to force you in the opposite direction.
By mentioning his ex or talking about how he regrets sleeping with you, he can hopefully make you angry enough that you will walk away.
Obviously, if a guy is always bringing up his ex or talking about his regrets, this could also mean that he's not over his past relationship or that he's not sure if he wants to be with you.
So you have to take this sign in account with the other signs he regrets sleeping with you…if you see this sign occuring alongside many of the other signs here, then consider it a warning sign of his regret!
One of the most telling signs he regrets sleeping with you is when he is noncommittal or avoids talking about the future of your relationship.
If you sense that he is not willing to make plans with you or he does not seem excited about your future together, it's a sign that he may have regrets about the decision to sleep with you.
He might also avoid or evade any discussions or questions about your future together, which is a clear indication of his lack of commitment.
This is why the best thing to do is to ensure that a guy is serious about you before you sleep with him. Interest is not enough. Him being serious about you is, however.
For more on this, see: 10 Unusual Signs He Is Serious About You.
Is he ignoring your interests and brushing off any discussion about your personal life?
He might be regretting the decision to sleep with you and want to keep his distance.
If he no longer asks about your day or seems disinterested in the things you enjoy, it's a sign that he may not be as invested in the relationship as he once was.
If you're feeling like he's not as attentive or caring as he used to be, take heed: it’s a possible sign of regret.
Another sign that he regrets sleeping with you is if he's being quick to end the relationship or ghosting you.
Ghosting is never nice, and though there is a chance he may come back, you really have to ask yourself why and would you really want him back?
Ghosting essentially means that either he is going through something big in his own life, or that he does not value the relationship at all.
It could also mean that he's not sure if he wants to be with you or that he's not ready for a serious relationship.
Regardless of the reason, notice how his actions make you feel. That’s more important than analysing his reasons for ghosting you.
It's important to remember that everyone has their own reasons for regretting a sexual encounter.
Even though his treatment of you is related to you, it doesn’t always have to be because of you.
At the same time, you don’t want to be in denial:
It’s important to take responsibility in the sense that you need to test men before you sleep with them.
Testing sounds disrespectful, but it’s more disrespectful (to yourself) to not know someone’s true nature and give yourself up for them before you’re truly ready.
Be sure of who they are and what their true character is like before you get intimate, because this helps protect you from future hurt.
So here’s the best way to test any guy (and weed out the bad ones early):
Use high value banter. Banter injects a necessary spontaneity to the interaction that helps reveal a man’s intentions early on.
If this is a guy who has an insecure attachment style or is only interested in the instant gratification of sex, then you will reveal him early on with high value banter.
CLICK here to discover why you as a woman need to use the dark art of “High Value Banter” in order to quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the "BEST of MEN"!
(...Even if no man has ever given you any love and all you've encountered so far are pen pals, ghosts, booty calls, and incredible duds!)
Just a heads up for the ladies who were previously in some kind of committed relationship with the man:
If instead you’re in a relationship with this guy and you suspect he regrets sleeping with you, it's important to communicate as openly and honestly as you can with him about your feelings and concerns.
If a guy sleeps with you, it generally means that he finds you physically attractive.
However, physical attraction and sexual interest are not the only factors that influence a guy's decision to sleep with you.There could be other motivations like:
Remember this: just because a man sleeps with you, doesn’t always mean he is sexually attracted to you.
Some men have sex with you for other reasons such as peer pressure, a desire for sexual release of his sperm or alcohol/drug influence.
It's important to focus on moving forward in your own life. If the relationship is not what you want, it's okay to move on.
You might have been attached to him and feel very sad right now. If this is the case, the best thing to do is to let yourself feel it and then allow yourself to move on whilst appreciating the value you got out of the experience.
Yes, it is normal for someone to have regrets about a sexual encounter.
Everyone has their own reasons and it's important to respect what is. You cannot control whether a guy regrets sleeping with you, but you can control how you react to it.
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.
Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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