13 Unusual Signs He Loves You Secretly

If a guy loves you he’s going to show obvious signs, right?

In reality that’s not always how it works, and some men are highly gifted at hiding their feelings for you even when they’re deeply attracted and in love with you.

Here’s what to watch out for in the top unusual signs he loves you secretly.

1. He masks his reaction upon first seeing you

First up in the signs a guy secretly loves you but is hiding it is that he masks his reaction upon first seeing you.

If you’ve ever seen someone in love when the person they love walks in the room you know that there’s a whole energy shift.

Their eyes light up, their mood improves and their attention becomes at least temporarily focused on the object of their affection.

When a man is hiding his love for you, it’s different.

The fact of the matter is that he’s going to intentionally mask his instinctive reaction and interest in you.

If you enter a room or see him for the first time, watch for him to play things overly casual.

This isn’t just indifference, it’s more like he’s actively avoiding acknowledging you or paying attention to you.

He will act like he barely even notices you, and sometimes intentionally pay more attention to everyone else … but not you.

Why so defensive?

That’s a guy who can’t handle how strong his feelings are for you.

2: His gaze is briefly on you at the oddest times

Second up in the unusual signs he loves you secretly is that you find him gazing at you at the oddest times.

It’s typical for a man who’s interested to make prolonged eye contact and look at you frequently, of course.

What’s unusual here is that you’ll notice him gazing at you subtly and “sneaking a look” quickly at times when there’s no pretext whatsoever for looking at you.

For example, he’s engaged deep in conversation with somebody else and you’re talking to someone on the other side of the room.

But you notice him stealing several looks your way and trying to hide it.

He may even blush when he sees you noticing.

If you come over and speak to him or open up the interaction, he is likely to be nervous and also may create a fake pretext for wanting to talk to you that should be fairly easy to notice is fake.

For example, he may say something like “I was going to ask if you fixed those problems you were having with your car” even though they were issues you fixed over a month ago.

Well, I guess it's definitely one of the subtle signs he's paying attention to you and your life.

On another note, would you like to discover how commitment friendly he is?

There’s a difference between a guy who is “interested” in you, versus a guy who is serious about committing to you.

You can find out whether a guy is “interested” or serious with our quick and easy quiz…

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3: He’s curious about you but tries to hide and downplay it

A man who’s secretly in love is going to be intensely curious about everything about you.

But he’s going to downplay that and make it seem like nothing.

There are two basic ways a man tends to go about this:

The first is by “amping up” his sociability in larger social situations involving you so that he’s basically chatting and talking to everyone, including you.

If he “happens” to also get into talking about deep subjects and aspects of your life, so be it. He’s also asking everyone else, male and female, all sorts of things, and volunteering all sorts of info about himself.

This is sort of the “distract from revealing his interest by deluging everyone with interest” approach.

The second is that he will drum up immense enthusiasm about something you are interested in or involved in and make it all about that.

“Holy crap, how long have you done archery? I’ve been looking for a place to do it, I actually did a lot when I was younger, but then…”

And so on.

The real purpose? Get close to you, talk to you, connect with you!

By the way, did you know that there’s one specific emotional trigger you can use on a man that will make him want to deeply commit to you?

CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.

4: He digs into details about your love life in sneaky ways

When a man’s in love, he naturally wants to know if he has a shot.

That includes knowing your relationship status, of course.

But coming right out with it or openly asking around is going to be a little obvious and for whatever reason he’s not wanting to show his cards and play his hand right now.

For that reason, he comes up with sneaky and indirect ways to ask about your love life and availability.


Inquiring about your living situation under the pretext of him wanting to find a new apartment or house and being curious about the real estate market and pricing.

Referring to the difficulty and confusion of modern dating as generalized topics in order to elicit some kind of personal information from you or response.

Watching and listening to you closely whenever topics come up about your personal life or what you’re looking for in your sex life.

Scouring and watching your social media accounts for any hints of your love life or men you may be involved with or may have been involved with in the past.

These are all tell tale signs a guy secretly loves you.

And here is a video from Renée on the 5 Unusual Signs A Man Is Madly In Love With You:

5: He highlights his bachelorhood in subtle forms

Next up in the key signs he loves you secretly is that he finds ways to subtly highlight his own bachelorhood.

No guy who respects himself and wants to play it cool is going to just show up wearing a “Single and Ready To Mingle” shirt around you.

But he may make wry comments or references to being single in ways that leave it clear he doesn’t take it too seriously but is also actually single.

For example:

“Well, another Friday night. Time to put on my blue suede shoes and do my best impression of Don Juan.”


“The greatest thing about my lifestyle is I get to decide how much fridge space to use up on beer if I want to.”

Subtle, right?

6: He jokes flirtatiously with others to gauge your reaction

A typical sign of male interest is when a guy jokes flirtatiously with you or even tells jokes to you that have a sexual or romantic edge.

But a man who’s hiding his love isn’t going to be doing that, obviously.

In fact, what he’ll often do is drop flirtatious and naughty jokes to other people near you in order to secretly gauge your reaction.

For example, if you’re out with a group of friends he may tell jokes to several other guys and girls, not once looking in your direction.

But he’s listening for your laugh chiming in there in the background.

The best way to tell is his reaction if he tells a joke or two and you don’t respond in any way:

You’ll notice he becomes muted and even a bit sad and his jokes stop.

That’s because he was only really telling them for your benefit and to get a rise out of you.

7: His attention fixates on anyone who talks about you or to you

The next of the subtle and unusual signs he loves you secretly is that he gets very interested in anyone else who’s talking about you, or talking to you.

Rather than approach you directly, he hovers or approaches those who are with you or talking to you.

On an even subtler note, he will engage closely with those who are discussing subjects, events or plans that could potentially involve you.

If a discussion, situation, event or topic involves you even tangentially, his interest perks up.

If it doesn’t involve you at all, you may notice his interest and engagement waning.

The most typical example would be if a group of friends or colleagues are planning to go out or go to an event and asking if he’d like to come.

He says maybe and seems enthusiastic, but after you make a comment about being tired or preferring not to go, he shifts into another gear and also appears to start losing interest.

Of course, this will be because he was hoping to spend time with you, but realized that this opportunity is no longer available.

8: His mood fluctuates with your attention and time for him

Another of the key tell tale signs to look for in a guy who secretly loves you is that he gets noticeably more up and down depending on the attention you show to him.

When you’re around him more, talk to him via messaging or interact with him, he seems to brighten up.

Too much time away or not speaking to him and he gets noticeably a bit withdrawn and low.

This is doubly so if you are spending time with other guys or flirting with other men, and you may notice him trying to hide signs of jealousy and a low mood in those cases.

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9: He upgrades his wardrobe and style in ways that he thinks appeal to you

Want to know a clear sign a guy likes you?

He makes subtle but very noticeable changes in his style - all for you.

If you mention or have an obvious preference about style and the type of guys who you compliment, watch for a man who copies that.

A guy who secretly has fallen for you is highly attuned to your words and subtle hints about what you like and don’t like.

If you say you usually find “bad boys” hot, I’m not saying he’s going to have ten skull rings and be fully tattooed the next time you see him…

…But you may notice he’s playfully wearing a Megadeath shirt or has a little bit of a punk or biker edge in some jewelry he’s wearing.

These are the kinds of signs to look out for, because almost every guy will show his interest in one way or another, even when he’s trying to hide his real feelings.

10: He aligns his work and holiday schedule with yours

One of the very important signs he loves you secretly is that he does his best to align his time and schedule with yours.

MORE: 17 Sneaky Signs A Guy Likes You at Work.

This can be subtle and hard to notice, especially if you’re not coworkers and not involved in activities or groups together.

But if you have any way to notice this, it’s a good sign that he’s got feelings for you and wants to spend more time with you.

If you’re coworkers this will tend to be more obvious and can involve him shifting around his lunch break to align with yours and so on…

But even if you don’t have any outer and set commitments, keep an eye out for his schedule changing in ways that allow him to spend time with you.

That job which he used to have on Saturdays that always interfered with meeting up for a coffee is suddenly shifting to different hours…

That night he had to go to his baseball practice, has suddenly shifted to a different night, and he’s now available to check out that Latin dance spot that you and your friends rave about…

What are the chances, right?

11: He Mirrors Your Body Language

A guy who secretly likes you is going to subconsciously want to connect with you more, and his body language will betray this desire no matter how hard he tries to hide it.

One way he will try to connect with you more is by mirroring you.

So for example, if you cross your arms, he may cross his arms. If you put your hand on your mouth, he may follow.

And it will all be subconscious. Try to take notice and see if he shows this subtle sign he secretly likes you.

12: He Notices The Little Details About You

There's a difference between like and love when it comes to guys, and this is one of the clear signs he secretly loves you.

If he notices even the smallest details about you - what you like, who you like, how you felt or what you wore on that night you first met, then that's a dead giveaway of his feelings.

And if he's particularly shy, he may try really hard to hide that he notices the little details, but his subconscious mind wants him to have a crack at "getting" you, so it comes out eventually.

Case study: Learn how Kristin went from being completely burnt out with online dating, sick of getting ghosted and completely exhausted from giving her heart and soul with nothing in return… To having high value men begging for her attention & having the most “electric” date of her entire life. (…All by changing one simple strategy.)

13: He Downplays The Attractiveness of Other Girls

A guy who secretly loves you is going to be hypersensitive to how you feel.

This means that he will be extra careful about what he says about other girls, as he subconsciously wants you to know that he's zeroed in on you.

He may try to mask this by saying things like "oh she's not bad...but she's not very confident." or something silly like that.

He definitely doesn't want to be the guy who triggers you to feel bad in any way, so he'll make sure he's always the one who is making you feel good about yourself.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can a man be in love and hide it completely?

It is possible for a man to completely hide being in love, and a shy guy will sometimes be good at this, as in his mind, he has a lot to protect by hiding his true feelings.

To do this, however, he needs to also not acknowledge it even to himself and hide from the emotions and attraction he is feeling at all times.

The only way to break through the facade of a man who is hiding his love for you, even from himself, is to approach him and break the ice yourself.

This can help warm him up and encourage him to come out of his shell and begin to trust you.

Many times a man hides his love because he is scared of being hurt or risking opening himself up, and in those cases it can be up to the woman to take the first step.

attachment style quiz

How do you tell if a guy likes you or is just attracted to you?

If a man is showing the signs above, you may begin to have confidence that he’s attracted to you.

But how can you know if this attraction is more about sex and getting you in bed or actually goes deeper?

The best way to differentiate is to examine the focus of his interest.

A man who’s truly in love with you and not just physically attracted, is going to have a true interest in who you are as a person, what motivates you and what’s important to you.

The subtle ways he shows interest aren’t going to be focused around sex or your appearance, but rather around what actually moves and motivates you as a person.

You can investigate this further with my article on the 14 Hidden Signs He Only Wants You For Your Body.

Paul Brian
Renee Shen

Paul R. Brian.

Paul Rowan Brian is a freelance journalist, author and writer from Canada. He's written for Ideapod, Hack Spirit and Love Connection and is focused on culture, relationships and self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @paulrbrian.

Renée Shen

Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.

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