Author: Paul R. Brian & Renée Shen
One of the top signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you is that he keeps tabs on you.
What do I mean by this?
Well, the idea of someone keeping tabs on you may come across as creepy, and to be fair it can be stalker-type behavior in some circumstances.
However in the most mild versions it’s really not scary or toxic behavior.
It’s more that he is checking your social media, checking if you got home ok and looking at when you were last online on the messaging app and things like that.
In other words:
You have got his full attention.
Even flirting with other women or thinking of them doesn’t do the trick, and his mind and heart circles back to you and thinking about you.
There’s no doubt he’s hoping that he’ll be the one who ends up with you rather than anybody else.
By the way, if you’d like to trigger a man to be so emotionally attracted to you that he feels like he cannot live without you, I recommend you learn the ONE specific emotional trigger that makes a man want to take care of you and only you forever.
One of the key signs he really wants you to himself is that he’s your number one fan.
In every way possible and whenever possible, he lets you know that he admires you, finds you beautiful and wants you to know that he appreciates you.
This can include:
And much more…
Making it clear that he has your back is his way of telling you that he truly cares about you and wants to be with you.
It’s really as simple as that.
How does he act when other men show you interest or you talk about other men in a potentially flirtatious way?
Because if he likes you for real, his reaction is going to be awkward at best.
Even a highly secure man is not going to love seeing a guy hit on you, or hearing about how you dig another man.
You may notice him clenching his jaw, turning away when another man approaches you or even lightly cough into his hand and other similar behaviors.
This is him trying to restrain a reaction of jealousy or anger at other men showing interest in you.
Now, if this guy is high value and confident, he’s not going to let the interest of any other man faze him in the slightest.
However, he’s still going to find it uncomfortable and not enjoyable, especially if he is unsure whether you have feelings for him or not.
By the way, it takes a certain type of woman to attract and keep a high value man. Low value women will never hold the interest and commitment of a high value man, whilst high value women will effortlessly keep it forever.
This is why it’s important to be aware of the 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men.
Do you know these 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men And How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
(Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
If he actively tries to impress you a lot, then he likely wants your attention and affection for himself.
How will a man act when he’s trying to impress you?
He may humble brag about his career accomplishments, make a concerted effort to show off his best side on social media and pursue many other ways to make you see how he shines.
He wants you to see that he’s not just some “average” guy, he’s high value, and the man of your dreams!
So, is he?
Well, there’s a fine line here, of course.
Wanting to showcase his best assets for you is admirable and understandable.
But if it crosses the line into him actively trying so hard that it becomes desperate, you can be forgiven for being turned off.
If he’s trying overly hard to win your approval and your heart it can be a sign that he’s insecure and still needs to work more on his own self-confidence.
Men tend to be very results-oriented.
Part of this is that if they’re interested, they’ll usually respond back to texts quite quickly.
Of course, if he’s very busy or absorbed in other things this might not be the case, but generally speaking it’s a trend you’ll notice.
Even if he doesn’t answer right away, you may notice the “seen” indication quite quickly.
This is his instinctive reaction to checking what you sent him right away.
All but the most disciplined man is going to do this with a woman he’s interested in.
If he can read your messages only in the preview then this won’t be the case, but one way around that is to send slightly longer messages that he’ll be forced to actually open in order to see.
This is a very good texting hack, so use it!
Also, if you want to be sure his intentions are genuine via text, the best thing to do is to engage in some playful, high value banter with him.
High value banter will always show you whether a guy is toxic or genuine very quickly, and this is because playful banter has a way of putting the low value guys on their backfoot.
I highly recommend you use the dark feminine art of high value banter in your love life, like many women in our community have stated, it is an absolute game changer.
CLICK here to discover why you as a woman need to use the dark art of “High Value Banter” in order to quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the "BEST of MEN"! (...Even if no man has ever given you any love and all you've encountered so far are pen pals, ghosts, booty calls, and incredible duds!)
Don’t know what the dark feminine art of “High Value Banter” is? CLICK to find out.
One of the most important signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you is that he asks a lot about your life plans.
He wants to know where you want to be and what you want to be doing.
Now, if he’s a high quality and confident guy he’s going to have life plans of his own, and they may not necessarily align exactly with yours.
But his interest in what you want to do down the road is a clear indicator that he wishes to be with you and get a “fix” on where you’re going to be.
This is his way of making sure he has a general idea about what you want to do in life.
He’ll be considering whether he might be a part of that future, or whether you could also possibly be a part of his future.
On a related note to point five, he’s going to be listening closely to anything you say about your exes.
There are two main reasons for this:
Firstly, he wants to know if you still potentially have feelings for one of your former partners or might get back together with them.
Secondly, he wants to take internal notes about what went wrong and how he can possibly avoid that ending himself in the future.
Every guy worth his salt knows that relationships are no easy endeavor.
As such, he knows that he’s going to need all the information and insights he can get to make this work.
(And if he really likes you, he’s going to care a lot about making it work!)
No matter how strong his feelings for you are, he’ll want to know any insights he can gain about how to increase the chance of your connection working out.
Want to know ONE specific thing you can say to a guy to capture his attention? Nothing works like these two words: CLICK here to discover the one thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!
If you want to know how serious this guy is, another aspect to think about is his gift game.
In other words, does he sometimes buy you thoughtful and tasteful gifts?
This is a definite sign that he’s into you and hoping to secure his commitment to your heart.
This may be things like a small bracelet, tickets to a show for the two of you or a gift card to a place he knows you love.
If he’s thinking on the sexier side, maybe he’ll buy you a gift card to a lingerie store.
Just remember that it’s the thought that counts!
Most men make promises to women. They know women love words and flattery.
But when a man makes many promises to you and always keeps them (or tries his absolute hardest to keep them, then he probably wants to own you!)
So, what kind of promises?
Well that really depends…
They may be promises about his feelings for you, promises to support you or promises about his own intentions towards you.
“I’m not like those other guys,” and “I really care about you in a way I haven’t before about other women,” and so on…
When I first met my now husband, I said I liked porsche’s, and he promised to buy me one one by my 27th birthday.
In the end I didn’t choose a porsche (we were expecting our first child and I didn’t feel it was appropriate and neither did he), but the promise was genuine nonetheless.
Let me say though, that he kept every single promise related to his emotional commitment.
In fact, he made a small book of all the promises he planned to keep, such as:
And he’s never broken those promises in 17 years.
Now, when it comes to your average, run of the mill guy, promises are a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, it’s very good that he’s feeling moved and in love enough to be making promises to you.
On the other hand, every woman has experienced real headaches from guys who make too many promises and don’t follow up on them.
So as a general rule, remember these two things:
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Any guy, no matter how confident, is going to occasionally try to gauge your level of interest in him.
This may be as simple as him just directly asking what you feel for him.
Or it could be a lot more subtle, with him watching for how much you get in touch with him and how you respond to his affectionate behaviors.
Some guys will throw some playful backhanded compliments or cheeky banter to test how much you care or how much you really like them (and it’s also a smart and high value thing for you to be able to bounce back at him and do the same. CLICK Here to take our free class on the dark feminine art of high value banter.)
If a guy is confident he’s more or less going to mirror your level of interest in a way that feels very natural and not forced or fake.
But if you are very important to him, then he's going to be much more attentive to signs of interest or disinterest from you than an average guy would be.
Which leads me directly to the next point…
On the more toxic side of things, one of the possible behaviors of a guy who doesn’t want any other guy to “get” you is that he may become irritable or angry if there’s a lapse in communication.
A couple of days or weeks without talking and you may find him a bit insecure or upset.
That’s because when he likes you so much he may worry that you’ve just been toying with him and will react poorly to this.
Whether this is the case or not with your guy, this is also about balance.
If he always gets upset when you don’t text back right away, then he’s clearly insecure and possessive. In fact, the deeper truth is that he’s probably also insecurely attached (specifically, he may have an anxious attachment style and is triggered by your lack of contact).
But if a guy is a bit hurt by days or weeks of conversation lapse this is fairly normal for a guy who’s interested.
If you find yourself always attracting guys who get upset easily, or worse, actually don’t care or never get upset about you not responding to their contact, then you may need to investigate your own attachment style.
Specifically, you need to find out whether you’re insecurely attached or securely attached.
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
One of the key official signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you is that he mirrors your interests and values.
Because he wants to share your joy, your pain and your triumphs.
Most importantly, he wants to emotionally connect with you and feel closer to you.
Much like future plans, he hopefully has some of his own and doesn’t just copy yours.
At the same time, noticing a shift in his priorities and interests in alignment with yours is not a bad thing at all.
In fact, it can mean that he’s choosing you over his own ambitions and career, which is one of the clearest signs he will put you first (and therefore would not want anyone else to have you).
When I first met my husband, he was heavily involved in competitive golf. At first, he took me along to all of his games (and invited me along).
After a few years, and as we grew older together, it became clear that this was not long going to be possible.
Not only did he have to slow down with the golf due to having to build a life for us, but he didn’t want to be that kind of husband and father who was always away playing golf in the future.
It took a few years before he officially chose ‘us’ in every aspect - but when he did, it was a bittersweet moment.
The kind of moment I wish didn’t have to happen (I wish he could have chosen both a thriving golfing career and emotional and financial commitment to our relationship and future family), but in reality, one or both of them would have to suffer.
Especially given our family circumstances (we are both basically orphans, so all we had was each other).
Whilst any high value masculine man has a strong ambition and direction of his own, don’t be alarmed by him shifting his priorities to align with yours.
It just means he’s so moved by his connection with you that he’s beginning to walk the same path as you. Not to mention, he probably wants to mirror more about what’s important and interesting to you.
If you’re into him as well then you may find yourself doing a bit of the same.
Yep, sometimes a guy will just actually tell you that he wants you all to himself.
I know my husband did, very early on. He said:
“I want to keep you all to myself. Is that selfish of me?”
Not every guy will say it the same way, but some guys can’t help how much they love you and want to possess you, so it may come straight out in the form of words.
Enjoy it if it does!
If the guy in question is showing many of the signs above (like more 7 or more), then you can be sure he wants you all to himself.
At this point, you are in a position to decide if you feel the same towards him.
Just remember that you have no obligation to conform to his expectations.
If he doesn’t want anyone else to have you, that’s one thing.
But if he deserves to have you or if you feel the same mutual attraction for him, that is another matter!
Many guys will say anything sweet to “keep you around”, but will never truly commit to you. CLICK here to find out why in this article by Renée.
On the other hand, if he wants you all for himself but displays his interest in positive and healthy ways, then you get to reflect on whether your heart is also leading you to him as well.
Paul R. Brian
Paul Rowan Brian is a freelance journalist, author and writer from Canada. He's written for Ideapod, Hack Spirit and Love Connection and is focused on culture, relationships and self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @paulrbrian.
Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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