Author: Martha Dugeri
According to society (people that mostly don’t matter), you shouldn’t even be worrying about how to tell a guy you like him because you’re female.
You’re supposed to act like you have not been fantasizing about him, and wait for him to like you first so you can like him back.
As a woman, you’re not expected to have the audacity to confess your feelings to a guy first but I know you do and I’m here to nurture that audacity.
In this article, I’ll be sharing all you need to know about how to tell a guy you like him.
Most of the time, it’s best if you don’t tell him you like him on impulse, (although there can be times where that’s ok too).
Feel free to take time to think things through before taking the bull by the horn.
Ask yourself important questions like:
“Do I really like him?”
“Do I have any idea whether he likes me back?”
“What exactly do I want from him?”
These questions are some of the questions you need to have answers to before you try out any of the following ways.
Because they will help you adjust yourself before you take the big step. They will help you choose a more direct way to tell him you like him, or a more indirect way. (I’m rooting for you. Go girl!)
Guys love compliments (don’t be deceived by the alpha male front). They smile differently after being complimented.
So, if you’re wondering how to tell a guy you like him, worry no more.
You can tell him you like him by giving him random and thoughtful compliments. Here are some ways (these run in order of which guys tend to appreciate the most, starting with the compliments that are most appreciated by guys):
Not only will your compliments soften him up, they’ll help you warm your way to his heart and before you know it, the problem is no longer how to tell him you like him.
The problem is finding new ways to make each other happy because the feeling has become mutual (Oh! I love happy ever afters).
If you feel that compliments are too forward, you can also take the route of using playful backhanded compliments.
According to Renée, Author of The Feminine Woman, playful backhanded compliments are a low risk and high value way to tell a guy you like him.
You can get some awesome examples of playful backhanded compliments by reading her article here.
You need to tread carefully with this one, but another way to tell a guy you like him is by buying him a gift.
Understand that the purpose of buying gifts is not to tell him that you have money, it’s to tell you that you like him.
Hence, the point is not the cost of the gift, it’s the amount of thoughtfulness put into the gift.
You’re not trying to impress him. You’re trying to show him that you care.
Buy him a gift that would mean something to him. For example, buy him a gift that is centred around his hobbies and interests.
Does he love football? Buy him a jersey or tickets to watch his team play.
Does he love music? Curate a playlist of songs you know he’d like and send him the link.
Is he a nerd? Buy him books and get them autographed if you can.
If you still don’t know how to tell a guy you like him, buy him an appropriate gift and watch him respond to your affection in ways that’d surprise you.
Just remember in your decision to buy a gift that buying gifts can say a lot about you.
So again, tread carefully, because if you buy a gift to try to prove to him that you're "skillful" or "worthy", rather than actually just being thoughtful, it can make the action come across low value.
Everyone loves to feel special. Everyone wants to know that someone cares about them.
Isn’t it nice to know that someone cares enough to remember the little things you tell them about yourself, isn’t it?
Well, you can tell him you like him by making a note of the things he tells you about himself.
Everyone, no matter how independent or self-sufficient, appreciates attention from people they like or love.
Paying attention to him includes the following:
These things seem simple and unnecessary but they mean a lot and they go a long way.
Consistently pay attention to him and in time, you wouldn’t have to bother about how to tell him you like him anymore because by then he would have picked up on your cues.
You can tell a guy you like him by making an intentional effort to get to know him.
Ask him questions!
If his answers to these questions don’t weaken your affections for him, that’s a good thing.
Because they will make your feelings stronger (and possibly become mutual) because as he answers these questions, he’s becoming more aware of you.
The most obvious way to tell a guy you like him would be to honestly and directly tell him how you feel about him.
But remember the questions we went through at the beginning? Make sure you ask yourself these questions before jumping to tell him that you like him, because that is something that you cannot undo.
If you’re sure that he likes you somewhat, then you can tell him you like him during a date or over drinks (you’d agree with me that it’s easier to win his heart when he’s drinking expensive wine than when he’s just getting home after a busy day).
You can also do this via a text message or during an online chat, but you might have a mini panic attack while awaiting his response.
A lot of information is missed and misunderstood via online chats. So it’s better to save the important discussions for physical meetings or a video call.
A phone call is almost as suspenseful as a text. Your brain goes…
“What if he doesn’t respond?”
“What if he hangs up?”
Another reason why telling him physically is a better idea is because you get to see his immediate reaction.
Is he shocked? Is he happy? Is he thrilled? This will help you know where you stand and save you from making too many assumptions.
You can tell a guy you like him by using your body instead of your words.
It is just common knowledge that guys are moved by what they see, it’s an established fact.
A guy that has the slightest affection for you will pick up even the most subtle hint you drop with body language.
Therefore, another (very concise) way to tell a guy you like him is by speaking with your body. How? Here’s how…
- A little tap here.
- A little touch there.
- A little hug here.
- A little hand holding there.
You won’t have to do this for long before he gets the message, considering the fact that guys are physically sensitive and almost always willing to respond to physical cues.
Also, if you want a little ‘boost’ in getting him to feel attracted to you (in a way that gets his blood boiling uncontrollably), get the 17 Attraction Triggers Course.
(The promise of this course is for you to discover the 17 Attraction Triggers that are guaranteed to make almost any man you wish to never look at another woman ever again.)
Support is attractive and effective. You can always tell him you like him by supporting (the living daylights out of) him.
Be invested in the things he’s interested in. Keep your eyes and ears open to opportunities that can advance his career and when you find them, gently send them to him with cute little notes.
The key is to do it in a feminine way, which is a softer, more indirect way.
Here’s how you do it:
“Wow! This looks like SUCH an exciting opportunity? Do you agree?”
“What do you think of this?”
You can also point out (in excitement) seminars and books you know he’d be interested in. You don’t have to say “oh this is something you’d be interested in!” (Although you can definitely do that!)
The feminine way to do it, is to simply get excited about these seminars and books yourself, and share that excitement with him. Invite him into a mutually exciting experience.
How else can you use your femininity to show you support his passions and interests?
Be his unofficial accountability partner and regularly throw in statements like:
“I trust you” and “I believe in you” when the moment feels right, or in between your conversations.
Basically, just be there for him. Let him know he can count you and your support.
You can tell a guy you like him by indirectly sending his family and friends to him.
Here’s how you do it: you steal the heart of his family and friends by being accomodating and kind to them.
Then you sit and watch them gush about how sweet you are to him. There’s no way he won’t think about you when his mum is asking him to thank you for the customized mug you got her and his brother is asking after you.
Remember that you’re not trying to impress his family and friends, (because you’re perfectly enough are you are), you’re being kind to them because you genuinely care about them.
You don’t necessarily have to be friends with them or talk to them everyday, you only have to let them know that you care.
…Even before he asks.
Guys don’t always like girl to THINK that they need help, because they like to look independent.
But you can tell him you like him by helping him when you notice he may need it.
Don’t wait for him to ask for your help before you offer it. Just look for the stress points and the pain points in his life. Here’s some ways you can do it:
“Heyyy, I noticed you’ve been stressed about your report. Do you want me to proofread it for you?”
“I know work has been hectic. Do you want me to drop your clothes at the dry cleaners?”
“You seem overwhelmed. Would you like a cup of tea?”
When you keep at this for a while, the more trust builds between you and the more your affection for him is reciprocated.
(Maybe your 'how to tell a guy you like him' search will become a search for baby names.)
How to tell a guy you like him becomes something you don’t have to bother with when you master the art of maximizing the time you spend with him.
Do fun things you know he enjoys with him. Live in the moment with him.
Don’t worry as much about getting him to like you, just focus on enjoying the moment and having fun with him.
Let him find out that his happy place is ultimately with you, and watch him initiate these fun things and reciprocate the effort you put into spending time with him.
Before you try any of the aforementioned ways, please understand that the guy you like may not like you back, and this is fine.
The fact that he doesn’t like you back doesn’t make you any less of an awesome person.
You’re wonderful regardless of whether he likes you back or not. Now, chin up, wear a smile and go get the guy you like!
By the way, if you like to Learn The One Missing Key to Becoming A High Value Woman Whom Men Adore, download Renee’s free goddess report here.
Martha Dugeri is a medical student, part-time freelance data analyst and Creative Writer. She is currently studying to be a doctor at the University of Uyo, Nigeria.
Writer For National Council Of Research For Women.
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