How To Get Revenge On Your Ex Boyfriend In 5 Easy Steps (With No Repercussions)

Author: Martha Dugeri

A lot of women don’t like to talk about the “I wanna smash his face” stage they go through after a break up. 

They’re ashamed of how much hate and anger they feel toward their ex boyfriends. They’re convinced that there’s only one way to get revenge and that way is bad. But this isn’t true.

Revenge is only bad when you choose to get petty (get petty as in burn his things or deflate his tyres). 

But when you choose to take the high road, revenge becomes beneficial to you. 

There’s a clear difference between taking the high road and getting petty. Taking the high road ultimately makes you a better person. Getting petty strips you of your dignity and makes you feel terrible.

I’m here to tell you how to get revenge on your ex boyfriend in five easy steps. 

These steps will help you regain your dignity and self respect. They will also enhance your growth and make you a high value woman.

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How To Get Revenge On Your Ex Boyfriend

#1: Acknowledge The Hurt & Anger You Feel

The first step in getting revenge on your ex boyfriend is acknowledging your feelings and emotions.

Acknowledge the anger, the hurt and the pain. Understand that there’s no shame in wanting revenge and admit all the terrible things you want to do to him. Admit that you want to bang his head against the wall.

Admit that you want to rub his face in the sand and kick him in his groin.
You’ll find that accepting these feelings takes away their power over you. 

Be completely honest with yourself. Your honesty neutralizes the anger building up inside you. 

If you want a practical tip on acknowledging and feeling your emotions, The Feminine Woman gave a great tip on this: she suggests purchasing a custom made voodoo doll (with your ex’s face of course), not to actually do voodoo magic, but to get the emotions out.

Once you start feeling your emotions and acknowledging these emotions, this process itself helps you understand how to get revenge on your ex boyfriend.

Not to mention, emotional processing can help you avoid the dreaded rebound relationship, which oftentimes can cause more trauma and prolong your struggles long-term. Here are 5 Typical Rebound Relationship Stages You MUST Know To Avoid Heartbreak.

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#2: Take Responsibility For The Role You Played In What Happened

Step two in how to get revenge on your ex boyfriend is to take responsibility. 

You take responsibility by acknowledging the role you played in the breakup. 

You must admit that you had a part to play in the situation you’re currently in. You knew who your ex boyfriend was and what he was capable of doing. You saw the signs but you chose to ignore them. 

Yes, your ex boyfriend hurt you and treated you badly but you allowed it. 

You made excuses for him and chose to stay. 

Taking responsibility is not the same as condemning yourself! The goal is not to make you feel bad. The goal is to make you realize your mistake and how you can do better. 

Taking responsibility is taking control of the situation. It is taking charge of your emotions and focusing on healing.

#3:  Make Sure Your Ex Boyfriend No Longer Has Access To You

There’s a huge difference between being available and being accessible. 

You can choose to keep your ex boyfriend’s number. You can choose to not restrict him from viewing your Instagram story. 

What you must not do is give him access to you again. You did this once and it didn’t end well.

You don’t have to be rude if there’s ever any need for you two to talk, you only have to be politely direct. 

You shouldn’t be sharing personal information with him anymore. He’s no longer a part of your life. 

Whatever discussion you two intend to have should be at your convenience. 

Restricting his access to you is basically setting boundaries. 

Do not hesitate to put him in his place whenever he tries to get overfamiliar. This helps you get used to life without him. It also stops you two from getting into an unhealthy entanglement.

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#4: Choose To Forgive: Forgive Yourself And Forgive Your Ex Boyfriend

The best revenge is forgiveness. Forgiveness is hard because we think we’re doing others a favor by forgiving them. 

But forgiveness is more beneficial to us. You should forgive because there’s a peace that comes with forgiveness and you deserve that peace. 

You’ve acknowledged your wrongs. You’ve taken responsibility for your actions. You’ve set boundaries. 

The next thing is to forgive:

  • Forgive yourself for settling for less. 
  • Forgive yourself for ignoring your instincts and enduring disrespect. Forgive yourself for not knowing better. 
  • Forgive your ex boyfriend for hurting you. 
  • Forgive him for being a douchebag. 

This might take a while, but be patient with yourself. You’d be surprised at how free you’ll be when you finally choose to let go of the hurt and anger.

#5: Embrace Life and Live It One Step At a Time

It’s very easy to slip into depression after a break up but that’s no way to get revenge. 

A very important step in getting revenge on your ex boyfriend is embracing life. Here’s how to do it: 

  • Look up at the sky and bask in its beauty. 
  • Spend time with nature. 
  • Take pottery classes. 
  • Learn a musical instrument. 
  • Throw a party. 
  • Attend hangouts and art workshops. 
  • Practice meditation and yoga. 
  • Take up cooking or baking. 
  • Volunteer. 
  • Spend time in the sun (make sure to use a sunscreen). 
  • Make small talk with strangers. 
  • Learn to swim. 
  • Learn to salsa. 
  • Spend time with your friends. 
  • Visit your family members. 
  • Play with your nephews and nieces. 
  • Relish old memories and make new ones. 
  • Accept your past. 

Yes, that’s right: take life one step at a time. 

The goal is to nourish your soul so much that you begin to radiate joy. Your soul becomes content and you’re at peace with yourself. 

You can also consider talking to a therapist if you need to. 


Embracing life means coming to terms with the fact that life will not always make sense. 

But even in the chaos, you choose to live and pursue the path of peace. Enjoy your present and watch your future play out beautifully, until you feel free to give love another chance. 

There are eight billion people in the world. Your ex boyfriend is just one person. 

Don’t let him taint your perception of love. Love is beautiful. Love again. Allow your heart to be tender again. 

Don’t think too much on how to get revenge on your ex boyfriend, just live. This is a great way to get revenge. Live beyond your ex boyfriend’s expectation of you. Let your rich and full life blow his mind (shock him).

Getting Revenge On Your Ex Is About Choosing YOU

By now, you already know how to get revenge on your ex boyfriend in a way that benefits you. 

You’re no longer ashamed of wanting to get revenge. 

You now know that revenge is not about hurting your ex boyfriend in return. 

It’s about taking the high road and choosing to rise above the hand he dealt you. 

It’s about choosing yourself, choosing peace and choosing to focus on the bright side. 

There are lessons to learn from every unpleasant experience. The best revenge is to learn, grow and be better. So now, let’s do a little exercise together.

Imagine This Scenario…

You’re at a party looking all glamorous and shining like the star that you are. 

Different men are offering to get you a drink and women can’t stop gushing about your dress. 

They talk about how it fits your body and how your makeup is perfect. You’re there confident not only in your beauty but in your worth as a high value woman. 

You appreciate the compliments and attention but your self esteem is not based on that. 

Your soul is right with your spirit and you feel so good. 

The hours you’ve put into meditation and exercise have proved to be fruitful. 

Now, you’re sitting on a chair, sipping champagne when you catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend. Before you could look away, he caught your eyes. 

You smile at him but he’s too shocked to smile back. He starts to walk towards you. You take another sip of your champagne and you keep your smile in place. 

When he finally gets to you, you can literally see shock oozing out of him. 

“Heyyy. You look beautiful.” He says nervously. 
“Thank you.” You reply adding that he doesn’t look bad either. 

You expect him to leave but he stands there, looking at you, wondering, admiring and most likely regretting. 

But you just keep smiling. Now, this is the revenge you should plan to get. 

You don’t have to worry about how to get revenge on your ex boyfriend anymore. This is all you need to do. 

This is what the 5 steps mentioned above will help you achieve. Go girl. I am rooting for you!

Frequently Asked Questions On How To Get Revenge On Your Ex Boyfriend

Is It Good To Get Revenge On An Ex Boyfriend?

Getting revenge on an ex boyfriend by taking the high road is highly beneficial. 

It makes you a better person and puts you in a better position to deal with tough situations. However, getting revenge on an ex boyfriend by getting petty can be damaging. It will leave you bitter and strip you of whatever dignity you have left.

Is Ignoring An Ex Boyfriend The Best Revenge?

Ignoring an ex boyfriend is certainly an effective way to get revenge. Ignoring him will make him realize that he’s lost his place in your life. 

It will also help him see that you don’t want or need him anymore. It shows that you’ve moved on and you’re doing just fine without him. 

This is enough revenge. It benefits you and it passes a clear “boy bye” message to your ex boyfriend.

What Is The Best Revenge For Your Ex?

The best revenge is for you to: 

  1. Heal and focus on yourself. 
  2. Focus on loving and nourishing your soul. 
  3. Focus on increasing your intrinsic worth as a high value woman. 

When you focus on these things, you begin to feel better from inside out. Your soul flourishes and your body glows. 

Your ex boyfriend will definitely wish he treated you better when he had you. Like Bruno Mars lamented, he’d wish he bought you flowers when he was your man.

How To Get Revenge On Your Ex Anonymously?

You can get revenge on your ex anonymously by using fake social media accounts to troll and stalk him.

This is however a terrible way of getting revenge. It does nothing to help you get better and your ex boyfriend will most likely know it’s you.

How To Make Your Ex Miserable?

You can make your ex miserable by being the best version of yourself. Love yourself and enjoy yourself. 

He’d begin to wonder how you’re able to move on so fast. When you focus your energy on getting better, your ex becomes miserable by himself. He becomes miserable trying to figure out why you’re not miserable.

Martha Dugeri

Martha Dugeri

Author For National Council for Research on Women

Renée Shen

Editor & Author For National Council for Research on Women. Founder & Author of the Popular Women's Relationship & Dating Advice Website, The Feminine Woman.

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