Author: Paul R. Brian & Renée Shen
Have you ever wondered how much you can tell from a text message?
The answer is quite a bit! Especially if you’re trying to determine if the sender has a crush on you.
Here’s how guys text when they like you.
First and foremost, guys who are into a girl will tend to text her back quickly.
They may have read dating guides or material about not doing this, but they still usually do.
Because generally speaking, guys aren’t as good as girls are at concealing their feelings when they’re into you.
They don’t get real feelings often, as their default interest with most women is just sex.
So when they do genuinely like a girl, it is emotionally intense and it’s hard for them to conceal it.
Now when I say he will text back “quickly,” of course, that’s a relative term.
But if the guy is texting back generally within half an hour and making it clear that he cares about responding to you, then you can bet that he has at least some attraction to you.
This is especially true if you are talking with him about a time-sensitive topic such as the two of you meeting at a specific time or to go to an event.
If he’s interested he’ll do his level best to respond soon enough to go with you.
Curious to know whether your guy is serious about you and will be commitment-friendly? You can find out with our quick and easy quiz: QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!
The next behavior to watch in terms of how guys text when they like you is the act of giving compliments.
Some dating “gurus” teach guys to neg, which is to subtly criticize a woman they like to make her feel insecure and seek their approval.
However, this is more in the pickup sphere and is the kind of thing done by an immature and low-value guy.
A high value man knows how to give a well-timed compliment and make it hit home, even over text.
He may compliment your appearance, your personality or even an insight which you’ve had.
If he’s sending thoughtful compliments your way, make no mistake: this is the texting of a man in love (or at least in deep like).
Recommended: How Do Men Fall In Love? 6 High Value Traits Me Routinely Fall In Love With.
Many texting platforms allow messages to be “hearted” or “liked” by the receiver.
If he’s hearting or liking your messages frequently and usually doing so right after you send them, it’s a big indicator that he’s got the hots for you.
Now, whether this attraction goes beyond the physical to something deeper is a different question.
But if you’re wondering whether a guy likes you over text, then look for signs like this.
Because if he’s liking and validating what you send him, it’s because he wants your affection and validation right back.
Now when I say they “try” to make jokes, that’s exactly what I mean.
Not every man is a born comedian, nor is every man super talented at banter over text. But if he’s trying to tickle your funny bone and get you laughing then it’s usually because he likes you.
Getting someone to laugh over text isn’t always easy, but if you see him putting in the effort then you can be sure he has at least some interest in you.
Depending on the guy’s age and maturity level, he may send GIFs and animations as well to try to get you laughing.
This is his way of telling you he’s interested and wants to get to know you better and become somebody you care about in a romantic way.
Real relationships are built in authenticity and seeing a side of somebody that others don’t.
Attraction isn’t a choice, and often it happens obscurely when we don’t expect it.
In many cases, attraction often begins when a man subconsciously perceives great value in you as a woman.
In other words, you present with intrinsic value as a woman. This could also involve him simply observing qualities or characteristics in you that he finds endearing and feels fascinated by.
But in general, when we’re trying to appeal to someone, we put our best foot forward.
When it comes to texting, the typical guy is going to want to show his best side. At the start i when it all matters, and that’s also when he’ll spend the most energy putting forward his best self.
So how would that behavior translate to texting?
Well, he’ll try to appeal to you with kind words over text and offer to do nice things for you.
He’ll even text you about interesting things he’s doing, or mention an accomplishment he’s had and similar things.
He wants you to see that he’s high status, busy, achieving a lot and has a good life.
This is basically his extended invitation for you to hop aboard.
If you want to know how guys text when they like you, watch their wording.
Does he dash off texts with no real thought put into them?
Or can you see that he’s been careful and said exactly what he wanted?
You may even notice very intentional use of a specific word as opposed to another simpler word that he could have used instead.
This means he’s not just on autopilot.
It means he’s writing and then thinking over what he writes before sending.
Another sign of this, and a little texting love hack, is when you see somebody “typing…” and then stop, then “type…” and then stop.
In the end they send you a sentence or two, but nowhere near what the time and “typing…” indicated they’d send.
That was them being highly deliberative about what to send and erasing and rewriting a few times. It means they like you.
Next up for seeing whether a guy likes you over text is watching if he invites you to places.
If he’s focused on sex, random chit chat or just seeing what you’re doing, his interest in you is likely to be minimal.
But if he’s bringing up specific events, places and opportunities that he’d like to go to with you (and follows through with it), it’s a much different thing.
This is what a guy does when he’s into you and wants to get to know you better.
He’s trying to take things off text and get more into real life with you where he can get up close and personal.
Social opportunities like music, dancing and more will give him the chance to talk to you in person and maybe do more things, such as kiss you.
If you’d like confirmation of how serious he is about you, you can find out in our quick and easy quiz. It tells you exactly how likely it is that he will commit to you:
QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!
Every man is different, and your mileage may vary here.
But generally speaking, a guy who likes you is likely to be very forgiving of your mistakes.
Even things they might block or get angry at another woman for doing, they tend to hold back on with you.
If you ignore a text for a few days due to being stressed they will be very understanding and even ask if they can help you in any way.
If he wants to help you, this could also be a sign that he wants to be your hero. And if he wants to be your hero, then there’s a higher chance that he genuinely wants to invest in you and is serious about you.
If you don’t write back to his texts much due to being busy, the guy will say that he totally gets it and try to be patient until you do have more time.
The general pattern here is that he wants to be a plus in your life, not a minus.
As such, no matter if he’s finding some issues in your texting or lack of texting, he’s likely to give you the benefit of the doubt.
The previous point leads directly into this one:
A man who’s into you will see your best side.
As you talk over text, many topics may come up, including aspects of your own life or past that aren’t ideal.
Maybe you had a messy breakup, hold very different political beliefs from him, or have family drama that’s got you on edge and is bringing out your anger.
He will tend to see your best side here and again give you the benefit of the doubt.
Even if you fire off some sarcastic comments or things that might usually trigger him, he’ll text back with a wink or an “I understand what you mean.”
This means he likes you and wants to be patient and understanding even if he’s seeing a bit of your “less ideal” side.
This relates directly to what I mentioned earlier about attraction not being a choice.
He may agree with everything you say and find you extremely pleasant but not be attracted to you.
Or he may find that you sometimes text things he finds stupid, but he still finds you extremely attractive and is patient with you.
Case study: From icebreaker to engagement in just 8 months… Discover the exact steps Yana took and the specific banter lines she used in order to attract the man of her life online and inspired him to propose after a short 8 months. (And then married within another 2 months…)
Not all guys are big into photos, but some are.
One of the signs he’s into you over text is that he gives you a little bit of a “window into his day.”
Basically he may snapshot what he’s doing and let you see a bit of it.
Typically he’ll show work he’s doing, something funny he noticed or maybe beautiful scenery or nature that impressed him.
He’s trying to add value to your day and show you the way in which he can brighten up your life, which makes sense if you think about it.
In a way, apps like Instagram are a way of sharing photos to brighten up the lives of others (hopefully), and texting daily update photos one-on-one is basically a more personalized and intimate version of this.
Also, in general masculine men like to be free. In fact, freedom is the ultimate aim of a masculine man. So giving details of their day isn’t typical behavior if they're not into the woman.
However if they are into her, then these details will be offered up much more easily.
If you want to know how guys text when they like you, take a look at his texting schedule.
Is he always shooting you texts around the same time of day on his break or just after the gym?
Or is he texting you at seemingly odd and random hours?
If it’s option two, it essentially means that you’re on his mind a lot and he’s getting a text out whenever possible or when the thoughts and emotions about you catch up with him.
I’d be capitalizing on the fact that he has feelings for you if he does this…keep building that emotional attraction and emotional connection, because these are the two precursors to a man falling in love with you.
If you’d like to increase his feelings of emotional attraction for you and make him want to take care of you and only you for life, check out the ONE specific emotional trigger within every man that will make him want to take care of you and commit to you for life.
One part of showing their best side for a guy is to show off his intelligence.
In texting this will often present as using good vocabulary, mentioning a subject that’s advanced or otherwise “distinguishing” himself from the “regular” guys.
He wants you to know that he’s of a higher grade.
So he may mention a book he’s reading or a subject that’s a bit on the smarter side.
He wants to make sure you get the message that he’s a cut above the rest.
In terms of how guys text when they like you, watch for how many questions they ask.
A man who is into you is going to ask as many questions as he can.
He wants to get to know you and find out what makes you tick.
Learning more about you also gives him better ideas about how to flirt with you and where to ask you out on a date.
Last and most of all, a guy who’s interested in you is going to text about meeting up.
I got into this a bit in point 8 where he mentions social opportunities.
If he’s very into you, he may ask about your schedule and when you’re free this week.
If he asks when you can meet next then he’s definitely into you, or at least feels like he might be and wants to verify how it goes in person.
A: Unfortunately, yes. Just like some women, some men play hard to get and may give you almost no attention or validation.
This can be a sign of being busy or even high confidence in some cases.
But in other cases it can also be an intentional strategy of acting hot and cold to ratchet up your interest and get you hooked.
For more on this, see: Why Is He Hot And Col? 6 No BS Reasons & What To Do About It.
Such behavior can lead to abusive relationships or even trauma bonds. So be careful out there!
Paul R. Brian
Paul Rowan Brian is a freelance journalist, author and writer from Canada. He's written for Ideapod, Hack Spirit and Love Connection and is focused on culture, relationships and self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @paulrbrian.
Author & Editor For National Council for Research on Women. Founder of the popular women's dating & relationship advice website, The Feminine Woman.
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