You may have heard about “black cat energy” or “dark feminine energy” on social media. These ideas claim to offer insights into dating and attracting men.
But do they really?
It’s important to look closer at what they really mean, otherwise you could be walking down the totally wrong path in your love life.
Some say women should be mysterious and unpredictable to keep men interested, others suggest being passive and “surrendering” is the key.
Supposedly, the black cat energy involves a woman being:
- Chased rather than being the chaser
- Hard to get
- Unbothered
- Has her own life
While these ideas sound intriguing, they often oversimplify real-world relationships. True connections involve give and take from both people, not strict rules about how to act.
Things To Know
- Popular dating trends can oversimplify complex relationship dynamics
- Both men and women can enjoy the excitement of pursuing a partner
- Healthy relationships involve mutual effort and understanding, not strict rules.
The Dark Side of Attraction
Power Play in Relationships
Black cat energy is a concept in dating that focuses on using mystery and control to attract partners. It’s based on the idea that being hard to get can make you more desirable. Some people think this approach gives them power in relationships.
You might feel tempted to use these tactics if you’ve been hurt before. Playing hard to get can seem safer than being open and vulnerable. But it comes with risks. You could push away good partners or attract the wrong ones.
Effects of Manipulative Behavior
Using black cat tactics can backfire. You might get short-term attention, but it’s hard to build trust this way. Good relationships need honesty and openness to grow.
These tricks can also be harmful:
- They can make your partner feel insecure
- They might lead to game-playing on both sides
- You could miss out on real connection
Instead of playing games, try being genuine. Show interest when you feel it. Be clear about what you want. This approach is more likely to attract the right person for you.
Remember, healthy relationships are about give and take. Both people should feel valued and respected. If you’re always trying to have the upper hand, it’s hard to create a real bond.
Dark Feminine Power
Looking Back in Time
Women’s power has been seen differently throughout history. In some cultures, women were feared for their mysterious abilities. People thought they could control nature or see the future. These ideas about women’s hidden strengths shaped how society viewed femininity.
Social Media’s New Take
TikTok and Instagram are full of posts about “dark feminine energy” lately. Users claim it helps women get what they want from men. They say acting mysterious and hard to get makes men chase you. Some suggest playing mind games to keep a man’s interest.
But these ideas can be harmful. They often encourage dishonesty and manipulation. Real relationships need trust and open communication. Playing games might get short-term attention, but it won’t build lasting love.
Instead of tricks, focus on being your best self. Develop your interests and confidence. A truly attractive person doesn’t need to play hard to get. Your genuine qualities will draw the right people to you.
Golden Retriever vs Black Cat Energy
Loyalty and Comfort
The idea of being like a golden retriever in a relationship means always being loyal, loving, and reassuring. You might think this is the best way to show your partner you care. But it’s not always the best approach. Being too available can make you seem less exciting. It’s okay to have your own life and interests outside the relationship.
Black Cat Behavior
Black cat energy is about being more mysterious and unpredictable. This doesn’t mean being mean or toxic. It’s about taking care of your own needs and not always putting your partner first. You might:
- Take time for yourself
- Pursue your own hobbies
- Set healthy boundaries
This can make you more interesting to your partner. They might enjoy trying to figure you out. But be careful not to take this too far. Being too distant can hurt your relationship.
Remember, balance is key. You don’t have to be all golden retriever or all black cat. Finding a mix that works for you and your partner is best.
Chasing Power, Money, and Status
You might feel drawn to pursue power, money, and status if you think love is out of reach. This path can seem appealing, offering a sense of control and certainty. But it comes with trade-offs.
The further you go down this road, the harder it becomes to turn back. You may find yourself stuck in power struggles and feeling disconnected from others. It’s important to consider if these goals align with what truly matters to you.
Chasing material success can be tempting, but it doesn’t always lead to happiness. Think about what you really want in life. Is it genuine connections? Peace of mind? A sense of purpose? These things often can’t be bought with money or status.
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to finding fulfillment. What works for others might not work for you. Take time to reflect on your values and what brings you joy. This can help guide your choices and lead to a more satisfying life.
Effects of Relationship Dynamics
Relationships are complex. The way you act with your partner can change how they feel about you. Some people think being distant makes you more attractive. This isn’t always true.
Playing games in relationships can backfire. Ignoring your partner or withholding affection may push them away. It’s better to be open and honest about your feelings.
Men and women both enjoy feeling wanted. Chasing someone can be exciting at first. But it gets tiring if it goes on too long. A healthy relationship needs give and take from both people.
Being too available isn’t good either. You need your own life and interests outside the relationship. This keeps things interesting and gives you both space to grow.
Here are some tips for a balanced relationship:
- Be yourself
- Communicate openly
- Show affection, but don’t smother
- Have your own hobbies and friends
- Respect each other’s boundaries
Remember, every relationship is unique. What works for one couple may not work for another. Focus on building trust and understanding with your partner.
Dating Experts’ Take on Black Cat Energy
D.Shen and Renée Wade are two dating experts who look at relationship trends with a critical eye. They’ve seen many ideas come and go over the years. When examining new concepts, they:
- Consider both positives and negatives
- Look for real-world applications
- Think about long-term effects
- Compare ideas to their years of experience
They aim to give practical advice that goes beyond just feeling good. Their goal is to help women build strong, lasting relationships with men.
Their belief is that the black cat golden retriever concept at the core of it is about control and power. I tend to agree, and I don’t believe they are wrong. Here’s a video they made debunking the black cat golden retriever theory:
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Unpacking TikTok Dating Trends
TikTok is the original social platform that sparked a new dating trend called the “black cat and golden retriever” concept. This idea suggests women should act like aloof black cats while men should be eager golden retrievers.
The trend claims women should be mysterious and hard to get. It says this will make men chase them more. But is this really good advice?
Let’s look at some problems with this trend:
- It’s too simplistic
- It ignores individual personalities
- It could lead to game-playing
Playing hard to get might work short-term. But it’s not a good base for a real relationship. Feminine authenticity works better than tricks.
The trend also claims women should always “receive” and men should always “give.” This is unrealistic. Healthy couples give and take equally.
Some TikTokers say women should stay “in their feminine” at all times. But what does this mean? Should a mom not save her child from danger to stay “feminine”? That makes no sense.
The truth is, both men and women enjoy mystery sometimes. Both can also like to chase or be chased. It depends on the person and the situation.
Instead of following trends, focus on being your true self. Show interest through playfulness. Pull back when you need space. A good match will respond well to your authentic behavior.
Male and Female Relationship Patterns
Giving in to Feminine Energy
Feminine energy often involves being open and receptive. This can mean letting your partner take the lead sometimes. But it doesn’t mean you should always be passive. It’s about balance and what feels right for you both.
Being feminine doesn’t mean you can’t be strong or take action when needed. You can still protect your kids or stand up for yourself. The key is finding a mix that works in your relationship.
Clearing Up The Misunderstandings
Some people think being feminine means never chasing or pursuing a partner. But this isn’t true. Both men and women can enjoy the thrill of chasing someone they like. What matters is that you both feel valued and respected.
It’s also wrong to think men always want to chase and women always want to be chased. Every person and relationship is different. What works for one couple might not work for another.
Remember, healthy relationships are about give and take. They’re not about playing games or trying to trick your partner. Focus on open communication and mutual respect instead.
Chasing and the Thrill of Pursuit
Chasing someone you like can be exciting. You might feel a rush when you pursue a crush or potential partner. But it’s not just men who enjoy this – women can get caught up in the thrill too.
When you chase someone, you’re showing interest and putting in effort. This can make the other person feel wanted and special. The mystery and unpredictability add to the excitement.
But chasing isn’t always healthy. If you’re always the one pursuing, it can become one-sided. A good relationship needs balance. Both people should show interest and make an effort.
Don’t confuse chasing with rescuing someone from danger. Keeping your kids safe isn’t about pursuit – it’s about protection and responsibility.
Remember that your worth isn’t tied to being chased or chasing others. Focus on building real connections based on mutual interest and respect.
Thoughts on Black Cat vs Golden Retriever Trends
You may have seen videos about “black cat energy” and “golden retriever energy” in relationships. These ideas can seem exciting, but they often oversimplify things.
Both men and women enjoy some chase, but only if they think the person is worth pursuing. Playing silly games rarely leads to real connection.
The idea that women should always be “receiving” in relationships is too rigid. In real life, healthy couples give and take. Trying to stick to strict roles based on gimmicky ideas and your own rules can cause serious problems.
Claims that men secretly want to chase women who act uninterested aren’t always true. Most people prefer partners who make some effort and show interest, even subtle interest, which is what women err towards.
Be careful with advice to withhold affection or play mind games. These tactics might get short-term attention, but they don’t build trust or intimacy.
Instead of following trends, focus on being your authentic self. Show genuine interest in your partner. Make an effort to understand their needs. Build a relationship based on mutual care and respect.
I wish you all the best out there in this sometimes crazy dating world.
Remember, you deserve love.
Penny is a writer and part time dating coach. She lives in Brisbane, Queensland with the love of her life, their two daughters and their three dogs. Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with.